Yup, it's Fall.

The geese are gone; I did not hear their racket this morning. We live near a pond and they are quite noisy. They are also really messy, their poop is disgusting and it's everywhere around the pond--even sometimes in my fenced backyard (since they can fly). The only sad thing about them being gone is that I need to accept that Fall is really here--not the early sunny Fall days with pretty leaves and visits to historic sites. No, it is solidly mid-Fall and that means winter is coming. We have managed to avoid putting the heat on so far, but today might be the day. If it is sunny, the house warms up nicely. And it helps if I bake some pumpkin muffins (well, this batch will be squash, but they taste at least as good if not better). Right now, it's 64 in my house and the sky is a little cloudy. I might hunker down in my library (it has one wall of books) and turn the electric heat on just in here. Or I can take a nice warm bath and see if the sun has done its work when I come down again. I have a nasty cold, although I'm past the worst part. We went to the Topsfield Fair a week ago and I bet that is where I caught it. I usually wear a mask when I'm in a crowd, but didn't do it. Of course, I had to eat some funnel cake and French fries and drink Coke, so would have had to take the mask off then. I love the Flying Wallendas. We have seem them almost every year when we go. The grandfather is the announcer, probably in his 70s and still standing on his head on the wire, and riding a bike. His son carries the 4 year old on his shoulders across and then the daughter-in-law. I often cry at the daring of it. There's a clown poised to catch them on the ground. "What could he do?" I ask, and Ray says, "try to keep them from landing on their heads." There's a 2-year-old as well, but I think she is not going to be joining the family business. They juggle together, too. There was a crowd, as usual. No screens, no special effects, just a traditional family act, maybe 8 generations of practicing from an early age, starting on a low wire, I presume. Tuesday evening at yoga class I felt great, no back pain, able to do everything the teacher suggested. But Wednesday morning i had a cold, starting with the drippy nose. I take my Dayquil and my Nyquil and drink lots of tea and eat a million Ricolas.

Seriously rainy today, been threatening for a few days. So gray, too bad I'm not good at sleeping in! It is cozy and dry inside, but dark unless you turn the lights on. We are delighted to finally have a working upstairs bathroom, although it is a tub only and really too low. I have tried it a couple of times, you just have to be careful not to fill it too full or splash. Now that there is a new floor, I feel a little better that some water won't seep through to the floor below. Hopefully the guys who installed it caulked around the edge well enough. The old floor was curling up by the tub, sheet linoleum. This is kind of cool fake marble vinyl tiles--yes, I am afraid it is not made of anything sustainable. If people would stop burning the petroleum, we could use it for things like flooring many more years. Although it is cooler without the sun, it is not cool enough to bake, and we don't really want to open the windows and let the dampness in (and the heat out). But I can mix up some cookie dough and put it in the freezer for another day. There are still some things in the storage unit that I need to deal with, unless I want to become one of those people who pays for storage indefinitely. I could fit everything in the basement, which is quite dry, thanks to our dehumidifier. Ray empties it every day. I think it was our painter who said, "Just dump it into the washing machine, it's clean water." Before then, he was carrying it up the cellar stairs and dumping it outside. This is a win-win. A funny thing (kind of): we were not able to get the box spring upstairs for our guest room bed (a queen). It's sitting in the library until we decide what to do with it: find someone who wants it, store it indefinitely, trail it to North Carolina...I think we can pay the city to take it away. Tamara got a new bed and Molli and Michael brought us the platform bed she was using. They brought it upstairs and Ray put it together; it was kind of a pain, but looks pretty good. Imagine our surprise when we tried to fit the mattress on it! It was a full or double bed, not a queen! So now we are in the position of having to buy a frame for it, even though we already have three other beds that we don't need.

The best laid plans

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry--I believe Mr. Robert Burns said it first, although in Old Scottish...and many others have said it since, including me, many times. Like the plan to walk every day or the intention to detail my meal prep ideas... the meal for today involved eggplant, but since I had leftover spaghetti for lunch, I can't have pasta, which is my favorite thing to have with eggplant. I also don't have any peppers or mushrooms, needed for the excellent Eggplant Scallopini. Or zucchini, which could make some variation on ratatouille, which I would then eat with rice instead of pasta. There is an eggplant curry I haven't made in a while, but it calls for peas and I don't think I have any in my freezer at the moment.

There's a paradox about cooking in the summer. I don't want to heat up the kitchen, so it would be good to grill outside. But it's really hot and standing over the grill cooking makes people miserable. So I think I will cook the chicken indoors after all. Just briefly, on top of the stove, with some vegetables and serve with couscous. Couscous cooks with boiling water, so doesn't add much to the heat in the kitchen. Sometimes, when it was hot, we might walk to the beach and swim. Now we have to drive (sad face). Even worse, the beaches have high bacteria counts so we can't swim anyway. I think maybe we'll drive a little further today to swim.

Too hot to cook: Pasta Salad for supper

Today's main ingredient is corn. We were lucky enough to get some early corn on the cob Thursday and somehow didn't get to cook it until Sunday. It was still delicious, surprisingly. I try to cook it the minute I get home but life interfered with my best-laid plans. I also have some leftover pasta. A recipe called for 12 ounces of pasta, which is dumb. I would rather have 4 oz of leftover cooked pasta than raw, so we cooked it all and reserved some. Fortunately, I have a favorite recipe for Mexican Pasta Salad (thank you once again, Moosewood!). It is even low-fat! It calls for a can of cooked beans--kidney, pinto or black. I usually have a can of beans around, although I did use the black beans a couple weeks ago. When I can, though, I prefer to cook my own, especially if I can do it early while it's not hot out. So, I have some pintos simmering on the stove that will be one and cooled before I need them. There is corn, a yellow pepper, some fresh tomatoes, and scallions--everything I need. I'll chop up some veggies soon and mix the dressing, so it will be nicely marinated before we are ready to eat it tonight. Meanwhile, I am thinking ahead to a quiche I'll make Friday--do I need to buy some Gruyere? We picked up a cantaloupe yesterday, which is really nice with blueberries, coming into peak season now.

What type are you?

Some people like to take on a job and stick with it until it's done. Sometimes that keeps them from ever starting... I prefer to break tasks into manageable bits. I like to cook, but I don't always want to get started. I'm sure you've been there, all of a sudden it's late (5 or 6 or 7) and you're hungry. Maybe other people are hungry too, but they would not ever plan ahead to make sure there is something to eat when they're hungry. Anyway, I usually know what I'll eat when I get up: cereal and milk with fruit, or yogurt and fruit and toast and peanut butter or a bagel with cream cheese. At least one of those options is almost always around. I could make an egg and bacon, but that doesn't usually appeal. Lunch is often leftovers, but there should be bread and cheese and maybe sliced luncheon meat--or a can of tuna if need be. And there are usually some marginally healthy snacks in the pantry if I need something in between times. Dinner is what I mean when I talk about cooking. I love to bake bread or cookies when the weather is oooler and I have the time and energy. But the evening meal (call it supper if you prefer) is the one that takes the most planning and usually preparation. Ideally, I know what that's going to be when I get up in the morning because I've been thinking about it the day before. If not, that's the first order of business, even before getting dressed or eating breakfast. What's the weather forecast look like? How many people will be eating? What's in the fridge? I usually plan around the ingredient that most urgently needs to be eaten. Today it is zucchini, but it is often meat--chicken I bought or thawed the day before, for instance. Today it's hot, so probably not anything that uses the oven, and preferably not a lot of time on the stove. Can it be made ahead, while it's cooler? I decided on a frittata for tonight. I have plenty of eggs and will use up some of the zucchini. I got some chard in my box Thursday and I have a half a green pepper left over from something earlier in the week. Is that pan I like clean? To avoid any last-minute problems and to do the work in small chunks, I check the recipe and make sure I have the ingredients. Maybe I can make it without the marjoram, but if I was out of eggs, I would have to make a different plan. Looking at the list, one of the first things I need is a small minced onion. I can do that. And mince a small clove of garlic and cut up the pepper. I put the olive oil in the pan. Now I've got a good start and I'm committed. I can take a break and do some sitting down "work" or read the paper. Sometime in the next hour or so, I'll be ready to wash and slice the mushrooms and zucchini. I'll get the eggs out so they come to room temperature. And when it's time to eat, I'll have about 10 or 15 minutes of work left to do. Sometimes I make a bigger dish, like lasagna, or rice salad, and then I have it for several meals, in case I'm busy or the weather is not conducive to cooking. Lasagna is one of many options that can be frozen in meal-size portions to keep a little longer. You know the drill, keep track of what you have in the freezer.

the closet monster

Michael's closet had a door in the back. There was another closet behind the door. It was spooky, there were no walls, just boards and the same on the ceiling. Daddy said it was like an attic. It was a place to put things you didn't use very much, like Christmas decorations or suitcases. Michael didn't live at Daddy's house all the time. He used to always live at Mommy's house and now he went back and forth. It was a little hard to get used to. At first, he woke up in the night and called for Mommy before he remembered he was at Daddy's house. He had a bunk bed here and lots of favorite animals to keep him company. Now that he was older, he didn't even call for Daddy anymore. He had Alexis, who would read to him if he woke up early. At 7, he could wake up Daddy and Molli. Molli was Daddy's new wife. It was strange that Mommy and Daddy weren't married any more and didn't live together. But Daddy was much happier. Molli and Daddy didn't fight very much, at least not when Michael was there.

It's 10:18 on Saturday. I'm just sitting down at the computer. Ray was using it when I got up. He completed one tax return before going to the office to do more people's taxes. It's 70 degrees in the house, just about perfect. Warm outside but very overcast and it was windy/gusty when I walked the dog briefly, and cleaned up after him. Sometimes I can't wait until I don't have to do that any more and other times I think I'll miss him. I'm looking forward to a visit from a young friend who is spending the night, giving her parents a chance to go to a comedy show that will be over late. Apparently, she has been asking to stay here. I'm adjusting to the idea of not having a home in Massachusetts for awhile. M&M&T are working hard to get the old house emptied and ready for closing on April 7. It's sounds like everything is on track and I am so grateful. I hate not being there to oversee everything, but can't physically do much.

Ice World

The feast was over. The fires were dying down. The people went back into their homes, closing the doors to be safe against the Wild Ones. The hunt had been good and they had meat to feed them for a while, until the next day. They would sleep and wake and nibble, but not open the doors until the sun came again. The homes were underground, dug into the ice, and connected with each other with doors. Going out in the dark was forbidden with good reason. Anyone who didn't come in before Closing was lost, never seen again. There were no remains found. If you wanted to scare yourself, you could huddle close to the door and listen. You would hear them snuffling, although you did not see them. Once she had heard a cry, like someone being taken, but no one was missing the next Day. It wasn't warm in the Burrow, not like sitting in the sun in mid-Day, but the fur kept them comfortable. They slept on piiles of skins and wrapped themselves in the fur of the Others. They ate the Other's meat to keep them alive. And they chewed on ice when they were thirsty. They talked about where they would go for the next hunt and remembered old hunts. They played games with bits of bone. When it was Day, they hunted the Others with sharpened pieces of their bones, and made ropes from their sinews for dragging them back to the Circle. Without the Others, there would be no life. The Others ate things that lived with them in the water, but the People never ate them. When the hunt was small, it was talked of, but the Eldest warned against it. If we are worthy and penitent, the hunt will be good again. We must make the music. The flutes were made of bone and the drums of skins stretched over bone. Every feast yielded one new drum-bone and the most worthy would receive it to make it their own. The only other way to get a drum was the death of a Drummer. Each Day began with the festival of death. Any who had died during the night would be laid out and mourned before the Hunt began. Sometimes there are no bodies to mourn, but the ritual is performed anyway. The Eldest leads the hunters on the path to the water. I have never been, of course, being underage by 20 days. It is not known yet whether I will be a hunter, or a drummer, or a birther, or a digger. In 20 days, 10 of us will be designated. I think I would be well-suited for digging, but there are fewer of us now, so less need for digging. Birthing is most needed, but that future does not call to me. Perhaps I will be a drumemr and one Day become the Eldest. When the hunters come back, all the drummers play the dragging song and we rush toward the weary hunters to take our turn pulling. This is how we become strong and helps determine our designation.

In the future

People will wear an outer layer when they go outside that protects against sun, pollutants, skin irritants and contact poisons. An inner layer that is comfortable and skimpy. Outer is uniform to not draw attention. Inner can be very personal but only vetted friends will see it. Temperature inside is constant. cooler at night. Lighting also uniform, ubiquitous. No windows. Meredith and her Mom were playing hide and seek, like they often did. Except this was not the time or place, as her mother said, calling to her. The city was dangerous, with strange people and places. Meredith was 4 and did not have a good sense of timing. Or maybe she did. Maybe she knew her Mom was worried and wanted to cheer her up. She always seemed to enjoy playing hide and seek. But now her Mom didn't seem to be able to find her. She was calling her, but her voice was getting farther and farther away. Meredith jumped out of her hiding place and ran to where she had seen her last. Mom, she yelled. Mommy! She ran down a street, looking everywhere and turned a corner. Now she was really lost and she began to cry. "I just wanted to play. I just wanted you to make you happy." Today, her Mom had seemed unhappy and they had gone for their walk in a different direction. Usually they went to the corner and got some coffee for Mom and a treat for Meredith. Then they would see what there was at the grocery store. Some days they didn't buy anything, but usually there was something Mom needed: flour to make muffins or something for Meredith to drink. Mom said there was a time when people just turned the faucet and drank what came out. But you couldn't do that now. A man was walking down the street toward her. She looked at him carefully. He looked nice, with a blue shirt and nice pants and shiny shoes. She got up and ran to him. "I lost my Mommy," she said. "Can you help me?" "I don't know." he said. "I"ll try." The man was a government agent, he was not someone used to helping children, but he was not a bad person. First, he called the police and reported the situation. "What's your Mommy's name?" he asked Meredith. "Susan," she said, but I call her Mommy." Do you know where you live? In a tall house with an elevator. On the eighth floor, number 801. Near the market. OK, he said, let's see if we can find your house." They could see a tall building a few blocks away and headed toward it. "Not this way," said Meredith. She seemed very sure. "Did you and Mommy walk here?" he asked. In the end, he left her with the police. He had to be at a meeting at 1 and he couldn't take her with him. She was very tired and hungry and he really didn't know anything about little girls. After his meeting, he went to the police station and asked, "where is Meredith? Did you find her mom?" The person who had been working when he dropped her off was not there and no one else seemed to know anything about her. She was not in the computer. There were no young girls named Meredith in the city records. Over the next few days, when he could, he checked out tall buildings, with apartments number 801. None of them were missing a little girl. Of course, there was not always someone home to answer his question. After about 10 days, he went back to some of the places he had gotten no answer. He found a man who said he had just moved in. There could have been a little girl living here before, he said, but I don't know. When Charles asked the manager, he said, "I can't give out information like that." Hmmm. That made Charles wonder. If there hadn't been someone there before, he could probably have just said no. He waited outside and talked to people who came out of the building. "I don't know," they would say, or "maybe so." Finally, he did talk to a woman who said, "Meredith?" she lived on my floor. She and her mothere went everywhere together. And now they're just not there. Do you know anything about them?" "I met Meredith the end of last month on Delaney Street. She was lost. I took her to the police station, but when I went back, they acted like they didn't know what I was talking about." He got the mother's name from the neighbor. She asked him to let her know what he found out and gave him her name and number. He looked for information about Susan, but found little. There was nothing about a partner or a daughter. She had worked in a shoe store for many years. He went to the store and asked about her, but the people there didn't know much. She had stopped coming to work about the time Charles had found Meredith. She was a good worker, but not very talkative. They didn't know much, although she sometimes mentioned her daughter, buying shoes for her once. The shoes had a built-in tracker, like parents sometimes bought for their kids. It didn't seem like that was important to Susan, she had picked them out because they were on sale and she thought her child would like them. They had rainbows on the side, but otherwise looked ordinary. "Can I activate the tracker?" Not really. The Mom would have the code to set it up on her phone. They didn't make the shoes any more, because some unscrupulous people had gotten access to all the codes. It was a long shot, but Charles wondered if some of the unscrupulous people he knew would be able to tap into that information. Did he want to owe Johnny a favor? Not really, but he felt a strong pull to find Meredith. He hoped she was ok and safe with her Mom...but where could they be? Meredith had said her Mom seemed worried that morning. He went back to the street where he had found her. Where had they been heading? Was she looking for a new place to live? Meredith's clothes were not a clue. He thought, the shoes. she was wearing the shoes with the tracker. Now he would have to call Johnny. Johnny knew a guy...he had to promise not to turn him in before he could get access to the system. When hea talked about Meredith to the men, it was clear that he was worried about her. "What's she to you?" they asked. "Why do you care?" "I don't know," he said. "I just want to make sure she's okay. It's odd how she disappeared.' "It would take you a while to check out all these shoes," the man told him. "But you can eliminate some of them. All these are in the same place--waiting to be incinerated." "There's about 50 pairs still active in different parts of the city. And we only know the building, not which apartment." He went to three buildings that day and tried to find out if there were any little girls living there. Then he realized Meredith could have easily passed for a boy, so he went back and tried again. If she was hiding, though, maybe he shouldn't try to find her. Maybe it would be dangerous for her--or him. As he approached the fourth building, he recognized a car parked on the street, a greenish sedan that he had seen before. Someone else was trying to find her--but why? What secrets could a four-year-old girl hold?

I'm cold, Mommy. I know, honey, I'm so sorry. Come sit on my lap and we'll both wrap up in this blanket. We tried to turn off our lights and not drive too much, but it wasn't enough. Now there's no energy left to heat the house. We burned all the wooden furniture in the fireplace and now there's nothing left to burn. Even my grandfather's favorite chair. They'll turn the power on in a little while and we'll warm up the room as much as we can until the hour's up. It will be really nice then. And I'll cook our dinner in the oven and that will keep the kitchen warm. Most people really liked driving big cars and they used a lot of gas.

St. Patrick's Day 2023

Weeds in the lawn? Or something to encourage? Brushing my teeth, I wondered how many tubes of toothpaste have I bought? How many loads of laundry? So many ways to measure time. How many times have I washed my hair? How many different kinds of shampoo have I bought? How much more good can I do in the world? How many of these pills have I taken? Have they kept me alive? Or just made pharmaceutical companies richer? I know pills have kept my dog alive. He can't stand up without anti-inflammatory meds, one a day.

She woke up, it was still dark out. Right. The time change. It was almost 7, but still dark. She hadn't slept well and had moved from her bed to this smaller bed in the guest room. She had been reading on her phone. Oh yes, the new book about the "lady cop" from Hackensack. For some reason, this series about a pioneering woman deputy sheriff in the early 20th century had a calming effect. This latest one was more about Constance's relationship with her sisters and the nation's slide toward participating in the war against Germany. The Kopp family had been from Germany a few generations back, but hopefully they won't suffer from hate. She picked up the iPhone and continued reading. It was cozy under the comforter. Let the heat do its workk and the sun come up. A few minutes later, she was awake enough to get up and shuffle to the bathroom. She was old and didn't jump out of bed quite as easily as she had when she was younger. Always a morning person, eager to see what the day would bring. Now she knew pretty much what would happen, nothing much. In a way, she was grateful not to have anything to worry about; no surprises, nowhere she had to be. At the same time, nothing to anticipate joyously. She carefully inserted the contact lenses that allowed her to see things in focus, one of the technological, scientific and medical advances for which she was grateful. Although she had a pair of glasses she wore when she wasn't wearing the contacts, she didn't see much detail with them and took them off to read in bed. As she woke up more, she walked more easily into the front of the house, where the dog curled up on the rug. She was even older, at least in dog years, and scarcely glanced at her mistress, enough to show Alice she was still alive. That was something to worry about, one of these days she would have to arrange to deal with the dog's body. She couldn't pick him up and transport him to be cremated. And she certainly couldn't bury him in the backyard, as her husband had done with two previous dogs at a previous house. She smiled to herself as she prepared her tea for the morning. Today she would have one scoop of Irish Breakfast and one scoop of chai--half as muh caffeine but with the flavor she enjoyed. She put the tea caddy in the carafe. It was probably fifty years old and had come from a consignment shop, originally meant, no doubt, to serve coffee. When the water in the kettle on the stove boiled, she poured it into the carafe to steep. Meanwhile, she got out her favorite mug (there were two the same, so she always had at least one to pick off the shelf) and put a little sugar in the bottom. The sugar was in a tall ceramic cannister, with a long-handled ceramic spoon. It was not very practical, but gave her pleasure. One of these days, the spoon might break and then she would use a scoop--generally easier, but not as pleasurable. Then she found the bread, wrapped in a plastic bag from a commercial loaf she had bought last time she ran out of homoe-made bread. She pulled the cutting board from its spot on the counter, a nice oval of wood with a hole for a handle. She put the rest of the loaf on the board and got the long serrated knife out of the drawer (why does a bread knife have those sharp points on the end? to pull the toast out of the toaster?). She really enjoyed having the right tools to do something--not too many, just enough. She sliced the bread. As it was nearing the end of the loaf, it was getting staler and harder to slice, but she managed. One slice of whole wheat bread, made by her own hand, in the toaster. One of these days, she might get a better toaster. This one was not very pretty and often made the breasd too dark. It, too, had come from a consignment shop and still had the word toaster written on the side in permanent marker. She had tried to get it off. When the toast was done, she applied salted butter from the butter dish and took a bite. The first bite was the best. When the tea seemed the right color and it had been long enough, she poured it into the cup, got a spoon out and stirred it around to distribute the sugar. Yes, that was what she needed, a sip of tea and a bite of toast to start her day. It was the simple, predictable things about her life that made her happy. What to do first? She put away the clean dishes. She mused about what it would have been like 100 years ago or so, to have a maid or a faithful butler--or a whole staff to look after her. She would have had even less to do with her days. Help getting dressed, help dealing with minor challenges like dog bodies. Someone to drive her places--where would she go? To the dress shop, to have a new gown made? To call on her friends at their houses? Or, maybe she would have been the maid, scrubbing floors until she couldn't get down on her knees any more and then what? The sun was starting to come in, one of the things she loved about her winter house. It seemed that there were more sunny days here. Even when it was cold in the morning (today it was 30, according to the weather app), it would most likely be quite pleasant by afternoon, when she would take the dog out for a walk to the end of the dead-end street. Their little neighborhood was pleasant, although she would rather not have her neighbors quite so close. The people on one side had several pickup trucks parked in the yard and their drive was very close to the house on one side. When they got in or out of the trucks, the slamming door seemed very loud. The dog would bark sometimes. She dreamed of more space. Early in the day like this, it was quiet except for birdsong. But as you walked to the end of the street, you could hear cars going by on the highway, a constant roar. There was a big brick wall behind the houses on that side of the cross street, Sovereign, but it must have always been noisy to live there. She had a sort of filter that blocked it out most of the time, but sometimes she wished the street were open the other way, so she could walk away from the noise. In that direction was Ellerbe Creek. There were squirrels and other critters that plagued the vegetables and herbs she was trying to grow that probably lived along the creek bank. Yesterday had been a tutoring day. She had registered with the volunteer organizaion when she arrived a few months earlier and expressed interest in this assignment. She met with Mariela twice a week. Yesterday she found out the girl would be 11 soon. She seemed bright and lively, enjoyiing their time together and doing her work willingly and easily. She really didn't know why she needed a tutor, but suspected it had more to do with the fact that her mother spoke Spanish to her most of the time. Alice knew some Spanish and was able to converse with Clara, but her communication with the student was in English. She let her pick out books to read to her and she seemed to enjoy them, especially silly stories. She had no trouble reading, but almost read too fast, not always understanding the words. Alice stopped and asked her questions from time to time, trying to get her to think about what she was reading. She had also spent time at the shop, working on her sewing projects. She had hemmed a red cape she was working on. The fabric was Brussels washer, accoring to the women in the shop. It amused her to know that, but she didn't really know what it meant. She supposed it originally was from Belgium? Thanks to the internet, she can find out. It is a specific line of fabric from a specific brand and is made of linen and rayon. So... The cape had a flowery lining.

Photos

I used to have control over photos I published, so I could rearranget them and add captions, but now they just show up as hypertext until they are published and I can't change anything about them. I can't even delete them, because I don't know which one I'm deleting. So, here are some scenes from my recent life. I rediscovered the joys of hanging up laundry on a sunny windy day in early spring (OK, literally late winter). It reminds me of my mother, who never had a dryer and always dried things on the clothesline, in cold and snowy weather. She was frugal, my Mom, and used one clothespin for two items when she could, leaving cold damp corners on the underwear sometimes, where the clothespins had been. I can afford to use as many as I want. And I can use the dryer if it seems like a better idea. It is a pleasure to be outside, listening to the birds and feeling the sun and smelling the dirt. We bought a bedside table with a drawer and a shelf, so there is room for stuff I want to keep handy, and I'm less likely to knock my glasses on the floor during the night. We have a double, or full-sized, bed, not a Queen here. Generally I like it and it's not a problem, but sometimes I am closer to the edge than I would like, or I don't feel I can toss and turn without bothering my partner, so I move to the twin bed in the guest room. Or, if Ray gets up before I do, I might stay in bed, even though I'm awake, and enjoy having it all to myself! I made asparagus quiche--it was delicious. Today is pie day and I have already mixed up the crust to make an apple pie, but I need to go buy the apples. I have tutored a little girl twice and will continue to meet with her at the library at 4:30 twice a week. It is not my favorite time, but that is what works best for them. The first time, she had homework. I watched her do it and she asked me if it was right and I said yes. I asked her questions about it. Yesterday, she had no homework. Her mother asked me to help her with reading comprehension. They speek Spanish at home. The child is fluent in English and I had her read to me. She reads quite well and quickly, so she is not always stopping to ask herself what it means. Of course, there are expressions she does not know, like, "What's in it for you?" It's fun, I'm not sure I'm helping much at this point, but we'll see. I'm sure it's good for her to have more people who care about her schooling. Her mom is clearly very invested in her doing well. We went to a great restaurant for Ray's birthday (also International Women's Day). It was one Amelia and Kevin hadn't been to before either. I ordered ribeye with mushrooms, and it was delicious. There was so much, I ate it for lunch two or three times as well. Everything was delicious. I had a maple-flavored Old Fashioned before dinner. Yum. We are always on the lookout for nice places we can eat outside. The seating can't be picnic tables (some are), but comfortable chairs. In this case, they also had heaters, so we were quite comfortable. I did feel bad for the waitress, although she was very pleasant. One of the photos shows the red cape I am making, so I can wear it to protests, as a Handmaid. It does look more like red riding hood, though. I like working on sewing projects in Amelia's classroom. I only go when nothing else is scheduled. For a break, I might sit in the rocking chair and knit, or walk around and imagine what I will make next. I have some t-shirts my Dad got rid of that I plan to make into a quilt for him. Not that he will really appreciate it, but it might be a conversation starter if he has visitors. It is cold here today and the heat is working hard, but it is much colder in Massachusetts, with wind and snow predicted. One of my children is on her way to Mexico for a few days. She left earlier than planned, to miss the storm, and I know she will be glad to be away. There was a real dry spell for housing inventory, but there are some that I would buy available now. M has been visiting them for me, and calling me on Face Time, so I can see them with her. The published photos are good, but I really appreciate having someone there to ask questions and get a feel for the house and the neighborhood. How do you compare two good options? One is closer to Molli, the other has the all-on-one-floor plan that I want, but only one bathroom. It does have a basement with the potential for expansion, though, and a nice big yard, with an undeveloped area behind the back yard, so it feels less "in-town" than it is. Apparently, I can no longer write in paragraphs either.

Patty's house

When I was about 8 I remember meeting Patty. She was my Mom's friend, well really, she was my Mom's friend's Mom. My grandma lived in Florida, so she was a little like a local Gra'ma. She lived in a really small house with her husband, Ray, and her dog, Cameron. Ray liked to talk about dinosaurs with me. Well, really, he liked to talk about anything with anybody! He would tell silly jokes and laugh at them himself, even if no one else laughed. I used to laugh because he was so happy, even if I didn't think the joke was that funny. Cameron was kind of a grumpy old dog. He would bark like anything when I got there, but after that, he would mostly settle down and sleep. If we went outside, he usually came with us. He didn't seem to have any interest or desire in running away. And he didn't go very fast, anyway. I guess he knew where his food was coming from. Patty liked to cook, but mostly she made wierd things I didn't like, but she would always let me eat bread if I wanted. Baguette was my favorite. This time, when we went to her house, I remember, it was on our way home from church. Patty and Ray sang in the choir sometimes, but they didn't usually go to churh if they weren't singing. It was still the pandemic and everybody was wearing masks. I think they wanted to keep safe. Ray maybe had something wrong with him that made it more dangerous for him to be around people. They didn't wear masks around us, though, so that was more fun. It's hard to eat with a mask on! She sings bits of songs or hums quietly from time to time. Today, she is wearing all purple, her favorite color. Purple velvet pants! A purple shirt with a big spot on it (maybe from cooking?). Aner her favorite sweter witha. little purple stripe in it. The sleeves are too long cause she knit it herself It even has a hood! Her socks have purple stripes too. Amelia made those for her. Amelia is her daughter and my godmother. She knew my mother before I was even born. Amelia has the cutest most fun store. It's called Freeman's Creative and sells yarn and cloth and tons of other stuff--even stuff for kids like paints and clay and little notebooks. She doesn't mind if kids come in with their parents--or even dogs! There's usually someone working on something, sitting in the rocking chair knitting or sewing in the classroom in the back. There are classes to make things--it's more fun than school, cause you end up with something you made yourself--and you go cause you want to! There are six tables and chairs and a space for the teacher up front, with a camera and a computer, so she can show you how to do stuff. My favorite thing I made is a zipper pouch to keep my favorite things in. things like chapstick and tissues, but even my favorite eraser shaped like a bunny. But Pattys house had one room that just had 2 beds in it, with a little table in the middle. My mom and I could lie on one of the beds and she could tickle me. There was a big closet, too, that I could hide in. There was Patty and Ray's bedroom, with a big bed and 2 little tables and a dresser. It had a big closet just like the other one, and a tiny bathroom, with just a toilet and sink. In the hall, there was a real bathroom, with a tub, too. Across from that was the computer room. There was a couch that could unfold to a bed and a little desk with a computer on it. There was a little table by the couch and another giant closet, but it was full of empty boxes and you coudn't hide in there. Patty and Ray's closet had clothes so there wasn't much room, but I could fit in with them. The computer room had hooks behind the door where you could hang a jacket or bag.

Quiet day

Woke up about 6 and was surprised it was morning--I guess that means I slept well. I had a little trouble falling asleep, maybe because I watched a pretty intense movie, the King's Man. Definitely an antiwar movie. Ralph Fiennes and the other actors are very good, but there's a lot of dying in there. I had a bit of Kahlua and cream to help calm me down. Whether it helped or not, it tasted good. I'm looking forward to being back in Beverly, seeing Molli et al., and getting this packing done. Although it seems daunting, I want to get it taken care of. OF course, the weather looks cold and even snowy. It's predicted to be 40 here one night while we're gone, but it's supposed to snow half the days and 42 is the highest it will get, reminding me of why I like being here. It will be strange not to have to walk Cameron, but I'll have no reason I have to go out in it! Someone else will probably do the shoveling for me, thank goodness. I can feel my shoulder this morning and it worries me about the packing. We talked to Barbara on the phone last night and she may come visit us (although if the weather is bad enough to affect driving, probably not). I was a bit sytmied about supper last night. We had soem ground beef to use and I had made burgers a few days ago, so didn't want to do that again. I thought of something that uses cabbage, which we also had, called Bounty Rice, but didn't have the recipe. Easy solution: ask T to take a picture of the recipe! It was yummy, comfort food of the first water. We ran a couple errands, but nothing very interesting happened.

Spring in February

Another gloomy day, but it's warm and the last few were very nice. Ray is pretty engrossed with taxes and wants to tell me all about his clients and their stories. Amelia is of course consumed with her business, plus she has her life: chickens, friends, etc. I have planted spinach, lettuce, onions, garlic, peas. The first peas I planted are starting to come up. I started some herb seeds, too. The rain today will help them along beautifully. Our guests on Sunday brought a miniature daffodil (jonquil?) and it is blooming like anything. It feels like spring here, even though it's February. There's a peach tree starting to bud in the backyard.

This house

I can't put my finger on it--what makes this house so wonderful? I would like to buy one like it in Massachusetts, but they don't exist. Of course, everything costs more in Massachusetts, so that's one factor. They also are mostly older houses, at least where I want to live, and so they are two stories, without a bedroom or bathroom on the main floor. Sometimes, they have remodeled and may have added a half bath, perhaps by taking out the coat closet or the pantry, but I like those things too. This house is on a dead-end street, not far from a major highway. When I step outside in the morning to take the dog for a walk, I can hear the traffic. It's not loud enough to be annoying, especially not inside. If you walk up to the end of the street, though, where the highway is just behind the row of houses on the cross street, it seems very loud, enough to keep me from wanting to live there. They are offering one of those houses for rent for $3000! It is newly remodeled, with 2 bedrooms and 2 baths, but right in the backyard is a giant brick wall hiding a super-highway! Our house is much nicer, even though it has only 1 1/2 baths. It has a large fenced yard and we would probably try to rent it for $2000. As I walk back to the house, I admire the two giant oak trees that are in front, on either side of the lot, near the street. There's no sidewalk here, but we do have a fire hydrant right in front. It's a pretty narrow lot, room for the house and carport, with a narrow band of yard on either side. When you are backing the car out, you have to watch for the big old tree on one side and the fire hydrant on the other. Ray has done it enough now that he has a system to make sure he doesn't cut it close on either side. I'm a little cautious still. As long as we don't forget! The drive is gravel, but there is a paved walk from the front of the house that makes a right angle to the driveway. It amuses me--why a paved walkway there? The porch is low, with built-in benches on 3 sides. When the sun is low in the sky (on winter afternoons, for instance), it is nice and warm. The dog loves to lie there. I was there a few days ago, but I was thinking, "we need a comfy chair for sunny days on this porch." Sitting on a hard backless bench and reading is not for me any more, although it's great for putting on my shoes. The house is brick, low, and the front door is painted orange! How fun! It is kind of a 60s door, with 3 blocks of glass separated with bands of orange. When it's really warm, we leave it open and let the afternoon sun come in through the storm door. Right inside the door is the living room. It's small, with 2 windows on the right wall. There is a wood floor. To the left is a big front window, with a small table in front of it. That's the eating area, no separate dining room. There is a door to the carport on the left wall and the kitchen, open to the eating area and the living room, is right there. It is painted a light green, all the cabinets. The floor is dark gray or black slate squares. The counters are black, too. Amelia says they are made of paper! I don't know how they make them durable and heat-resistant but they work great. There is an island with the stovetop built in, facing the front window. The oven is over to the right, not under the stove, but next to it. It is a good big oven. In addition to the green cupboards, there is a built-in cabinet next to the side door, near the table, with more cupboards and a surface where we have the microwave oven. Against the kitchen wall is the refrigerator and the sink and some counters and cupboards. That's where the coffee machine lives. There's one more little cabinet built into the wall acroos from the kitchen, a shallow spice cabinet. You'd be surprised how many things fit there--spices, of course, and teas, and some canned goods and small boxes.

Stupid Back

My stupid back is bothering me again. I probably overdid, although it didn't seem like it at the time. I made soup and quiche and chocolate cake for friends of Amelia's who came over with their 5-year-old. I did the cooking on Satuday (except the cake early Sunday) because we had to be at church at 8:30 to sing. They came about noon and it was really very nice. But later yesterday and now this morning, my back is twinging. I took a pain pill and slept well, but I can feel it starting up again. I try different chairs and postures to see what will help. Is it better if I stand? Maybe I need to wear different shoes...

I did not sleep well last night. I was uncomfortable and awake more than once. I woke up a little after 5 and checked my phone to see what my fitbit said about my sleep. Nothing. Sometimes it doesn't record anything, for no reason I know of. Today, though, I found that I had plugged my fitbit in yesterday and never unplugged it and put it back on. Can't blame it for not recording anything! I stumbled to the couch in the living room and covered myself with a blanket, avoiding the dog who was huddled in front of our door. Some days he seems particularly needy, but mostly he sleeps on the rug in the living room. He followed me out and lay down on the small rug in front of the front door. I read on my phone and eventually went back to sleep, having peculiar dreams where I was in some sort of ceremony, like 4H awards or Girl Scouts. I was always going the wrong way or wearing the wrong clothes...possibly this relates to the installation of something in the book I was reading. Anyway, when I woke up it was full daylight and I was quite disoriented. Yesterday involved going to a store called Part & Parcel, which is run by a nonprofit, I believe it supports neurodivergent people. They sell things without any packaging: bulk flours, wooden toothbrushes. It's a little limited and usually expensive, but I like to go there first and see if they have anything on my list. Turns out, they're closed on Mondays. We did go to Cocoa Cinnamon and get Ray coffee and me tea (it's nearby). Then we went to the Coop and got most of the things we needed. Their baking chocolate is Guittard and costs over $8, so I couldn't bring myself to do that. We stopped at the New and Nearly New store and bought a couple big jars (for beans), as well as a "new" puzzle and a couple other things. Then to Harris Teeter for a few more things from the list: baking chocolate, lens solution, ice cream. Their store brand is all natural and has very few ingredients; cheaper than Breyer's! That was our big excitement for the day. Then we worked on our taxes. It looks like we will owe the federal government, but get a refund from Massachusetts. We ate dinner later than usual, watched Deep Space Nine and Bob Hearts Abishola. It was a sunny day and the temperature got to 60. Today will be similar. Yay!

Game night

Yesterday was busy in a good way. The day before I had a nice chat with Janna. It was cold and gray again, but today is sunny so far. Sunday nights are Amelia's Friday, so she and Kevin came for game night. We played Splendor (again) and I won! It's a deceptively simple game, with no violence. You collect gems. It starts slow, there's luck and strategy, and the last few rounds are really intense, because I had a plan to win, but it was possible someone else would beat me to it. We had takeout food from Dashi, ramen noodle bowls and other Japanese fare: grilled chicken and shrimp, pork buns. Kevin ordered bacon-wrapped mochi, which he does not recommend. Half of it is still in the fridge... It was a little complicated because we sang at the installation ceremony for the new lead minister at ERUUF. Her name is Rev. Jacqueline Brett. She is a gay black middle-aged woman and now the lead minister of a congregation of 700 members in Durham, North Carolina. This is a cause for celebration and many of the national UU leading lights were there. It is also one of the first big UU gatherings since the start of the pandemic. There was a guest musician named Melanie deMore, who is amazing! I'm now a huge fan. We rehearsed with her Tuesday and Thursday. She taught us parts to several songs by rote. She sang solos, conducted other groups and led the audience in energetic music. She also spoke with heartfelt sincerity about the importance of singing music from other cultures. She said that talk of cultural appropriation is "poison." "As a card-carrying black person," I will come to your school and tell you, please sing my songs. We're all human and we've all faced challenges, draw on your experience. She talked about getting a song written in Mandarin, so that a multicultural choir could sing in everyone's language. Apparently, China has no choral music tradition...? She wrote, "I will be your standing stone," for a friend with cancer. Anyway, it was a great experience, but I did not want to cancel Sunday night, so we rushed home at 6:30 and didn't stay for feasting and dancing. Dramatically, the choir director was not at rehearsal Thursday night. Her name is Wendy and she is fairly new at ERUUF and quite young. She had tested positive for COVID. They treated her with Paxlovid and she was there Sunday afternoon. We always mask when we are singing, except for soloists during performances. Ray and I tested negative yesterday before we went. Melanie directed and sang from a glassed-in chapel in the corner of the sanctuary. They said it was from "an abundance of caution." I thought probably she had tested positive as well. You can imagine the behind-the-scenes work to set up the sound system for that last-minute change. I know no one wanted this celebration to be a super-spreader event. There are also filters throughout the sanctuary. Molli and Michael visited a house in Marblehead that we thought we might make an offer on. It has the requisite 2 full bathrooms and bedrooms, a decent kitchen, a fireplace, all on one level, about 15 minutes from their house. The layout is a little odd, with the primary bedroom made from two smaller spaces, so there is sort of a bedroom and a dressing room or antechamber, and the whole thing is through the kitchen. There's a little sunken family room at the back of the house. But there is virtually no back yard, no usable outdoor space, no deck or patio. And it's on a somewhat busy street. Ray was in. Molli was in. But I said no, I want to hold out for something better. We have the flexibility to do that, although moving everything out of the house in Beverly and into storage and then into another house when we find it will be inconvenient. We still have a little time, since the closing is scheduled for March 31. So streessful!

Still cold here but so much better than there...it was below zero yesterday--and windy! I stayed inside mostly, taking the dog out briefly about 5. Ray was working most of the day. He didn't go in until noon, but was not up much before 10. He does some extensive stretching when he wakes up to try to help with his rheumatoid arthritis, and it seems better. I made butterscotch brownies--my Mom used to make them, but they didn't taste as good as I remembered. I don't have any chocolate and need to put that on my list. The coop has some, but it's quite expensive, and I may resort to the Harris Teeter. There are just a few things I "cheat" on. Ice cream, dog food. The Harris Teeter is a big new grocerty store just minutes from here.

Cold Saturday

It's cold, even in North Carolina, below freezing. But the sun is shining and the heat is working. All is well. I guess it's human nature to worry, though, and I'm thinking of Tamara and Molli in Massachusetts, where it's 10 below zero and windy. I'm hoping my old house will keep T warm enough and the pipes won't freeze. And I'm wondering what kind of house we will find that we will love and be able to afford. Last night, we went to a poetry "slam" at ERUUF. It was fun and interesting and we are working on getting to know people. That is the hardest part of being here. All is going really well in every way, except I am quite lonely and bored. I have registered for volunteer work, but the process is slow. I spend a good bit of time with Amelia at her shop, but don't want to be too intrusive.

It's all relative

It's going to be cold here tonight, down in the teens. But in Massachusetts, it's going to be much colder. The high will be in the teens and the low will be below zero. And there's not usually much wind here. It has been gllomy, rainy. Ray goes to work and talks to people. I do some online ework. Some days I go to Amelia's store and work on a project. I finished my bathrobe and it is very comfortable. If anything, pershaps too big for me. I have a pattern for a short capelet. It is sik. I am trying to extrapolate and make a larger cape of sturdier red fabric, A Handmaid's Cape, or a red riding hood. Yesterday, I cut out the pieces and pinned them together. I left the bottom uneven--I will make it as long as the shortest piece. I may need to buy more fabric for the hood, but I will have a red cape that is about knee-length. It will be lined in a lighter fabric with little flowers on it.

Feeling philosophical

I'm reading this book, Women Talking, which I started a few times and put down. It seemed dry and depressing, but it is also, in a way, funny and intriguing. I won't go into the details, but it engenders thoughts about good and bad and what would make for a perfect society. I have read lots of utopian science fiction over the years and been interested in real-life communities. In fact, we used to live in an "intentional community." In spite of sharing similar opinions on most big issues, the people there disagreed on many of the details. I spent many hours on discussions like those. This book

She checked the weather on her phone and determined it was going to be warm today, but cloudy. The amount of sunshine usually made a big difference in how comfortable she was. Even a cold day with lots of sun shining in would be lovely and warm inside. She had nowhere to go today, so did not need to worry about what to wear. Since it would be warm, she would wear a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, with one of her collection of hand-knit swetaers, and a medium pair of socks, not the heaviest ones. Yesterday had been pleasant. The new church was really impressive. They had a staff of about 10 and 700 members. She and her husband had taken a tour for visitors, and they were about a dozen, including two families with children. It was fun to start getting to know new people, people with similar values, who were also new to the area. The church (actually a fellowship) was still very careful about COVID and everyone wore masks, except the minister and soloists. The music was familiar and joyous. Amelia was at our house when we got home. We ate leftovers together and sat around, each on our own devices, in companionable silence. At 2:30, we headed to the shop to join Craft Club. There ended up being 8 of us, working on knitting and sewing projects. I finished the first sleeve of my current sweater project. On the way home, we talked about ordering food, but in the end, it was still early enough for me to put together a recipe I had found the day before for black bean and zucchini and corn, cooked and put in tortillas. It didn't take long and tasted good. We spent more time trying to decide on a movie to watch. "Just choose what you want to watch. I'll just be here," Amelia said. But when we wanted to watch Everything Everywhere All at Once, it wasn't available on any of the services we pay for. Neither was Turning Red or any other Oscar-nominated movie. We found one we like called, The Book Club, featuring some actors we like, including Jane Fonda and Mary Steenbergen. Amelia objected though, she didn't want to watch a rom-com about old people. In the end, we watched The Lost City, which she had seen and enjoyed, with Sandra Bullock, and surprise! Brad Pitt. It's like Jewel of the Nile, and adventure-romance that is not at all believable, featuring an author and her cover model (Tatum Channing) who get caught up in a plot from one of her books. Daniel Radcliffe is the bad guy, and I did have some trouble thinking of him as anyone other than Daniel Radcliffe. For that matter, Sandra Bullock was pretty much still Sandra Bullock--although not the clumsy one from some of her movies.

Mistakes

Yesterday I made two stupid mistakes. Thursday night Kevin's sister and brother-in-law came for a visit. There is a BrewFest or some kind of beer event that they like to attend every year. Friday we had a lovely brunch with them at Guglhupf, a German restaurant/biergarten that has a great setup for outdoor seating, including heaters. You order at the outside window and someone brings the food to your table. You grab your own silverware and water (if you're not drinking beer). The food was very good. I ordered schnitzel, like you do when you're at a German restaurant. My side was cucumber salad. I should have taken a picture. The pork covered the plate. It's a very thin, breaded cutlet. It was good, but might have benefited (in my benighted opinion) from some kind of sauce. Probably mustard, which I don't like. We sat and talked in the sunshine for hours. It was very nice. Amelia and I went to a nearby thrift store, Pennies for Change. More upscale than the others I have visited. And they had a set of ceramic canisters. They were individually priced, so I could have gotten just the big one, but I felt it was wrong to break up the set. We also got a mirror with hooks to hang by the front door. Not sure when that will happen...Then I spent some more time at the shop, working on my plaid flannel bathrobe. I'm beginning to think I might finish it. And wear it and like it! We had Amelia's leftover chickpea and cauliflower curry for supper, with a few condiments like cucumbers in yogurt and coconut and peanuts. She is staying with us for a few days, while the group is carousing. Obviously, can't really mask when you're drinking beer and there are lots of people, so she will be cautious until a few days after they leave. She goes by to take care of the chickens morning and night, but keeps her distance from her husband and family. We're glad to have her here, and it's nice she has that options. Even without COVID, it's not super fun to be the sober one going to bed while a group of loud drunk people hang out. On Saturday, the event was to take place. Amelia works all day every Saturday and it was busy at the store. Ray and I were to go to the Farmers' Market and then go by Amelia's house to let out her dog, Maggie, and Kasey & Rhett's dog, Ipa. At 9:45, Ray noticed that he was supposed to be at work at the H&R Block office at 10. Since we have only one car here, I could drive him to work if I wanted a car. "No," I said, I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't feel like going to the farmers' market alone and I wouldn't be going to Amelia's shop when it was busy. She had two classes scheduled, so I couldn't use the classroom, where I usually set up the sewing machine. That was my first mistake, because I remembered, an hour or so later, that I needed to go to Amelia's and let out the dogs, somewhere in the middle of the day, while people were at the BeerFest. Ray offered to run back and give me the car. "No," I said, "I'll walk. I'll take Cameron and we'll rest there a while before we walk back." Second mistake. It took 37 minutes for us to walk there. I kept yanking on Cameron, so he wouldn't stop and smell everything. The first part of the route was familiar, we walked toward the park where Ray usually takes him. Then we turned on Indian Trail, a nice quiet road. None of the streets had any sidewalk, or even shoulder. Then we turned on Hillandale, which was pretty busy. We walked along the edge of the golf course, which was very busy. It was a beautiful sunny day. I didn't need my hat, but kept my fleece zipped up. I was okay, but the last few minutes I was pretty tired. C. was panting, wandering into the middle of the street if I didn't keep him close (in the neighborhood, not on the busy road). We got to the house and I let him into the back yard. I went around and let the dogs out into the yard and the next thing I knew there was barking and snarling and Ipa was on top of Cameron. I was yelling, "No," and "Stop," but I didn't dare try to get between them, since I don't really know Ipa and she clearly did not know Cameron. OK, I get it in hindsight. There was a strange dog in the yard and she was protecting Maggie, maybe even me. I got her back in the house. Maggie was just confused. There was blood on Cameron's muzzle and he waited by the gate. He wanted to go. I wanted to rest and I wanted him to rest. I brought him water, but I don't think he drank any. He didn't seem to have trouble walking and he stopped bleeding. Ipa appeared unhurt and unfazed. I had a couple glasses of water and sat for a bit, but C. wasn't interested in resting there. On the way back, we took our time. I let him smell as much as he wanted. We took a different route without busy roads. It was colder now, though, and I wanted to be done with the whole thing. There is a small cut on his face, but Cameron seems fine and anxious to go for another walk. I'm fine too, but not planning to walk that far again soon.

Tips and hints

If you live in a small kitchen--and this one is great, it is not a tiny house by any means. Full size refrigerator, oven, double sink. The dishwasher is small but we haven't used it in a month, for 2-4 of us. (Yes, it's been a whole month already. No wonder I'm a little restless.) If you live in a small kitchen, it is not that hard to make it work. Obviously, you can't stock up, unless you have storage somewhere else. We have the big bag of dog food in the laundry room, and empty it into a bin in the kitchen 3 or 4 times before we get a new one. K likes to buy snacks in bulk for guests. They are in the guest room closet for now. When we leave, they'll go back to his house. If you like to buy giant packages of toilet paper, can you store them in the attic? We do have an attic, with pull-down stairs, but I don't need to save money on toilet paper bad enough to go up there once a week or so. Maybe you think it's worth it. Maybe you don't use an oven and can store things there. I like to bake. I make bread and even pies sometimes, but not every day. My rolling pin and a few other things are in a drawer in the guest room closet. Do I use my grater every day? My citrus squeezer, my cookie scoop? Things in the drawers are easier to keep track of if they are only the daily necessities. Even that could possibly be outsourced--is there a drawer under your TV with junk in it? How many forks and spoons do you use? If you wash the dishes after every meal, most things don't need to be taking up prime real estate. The challenge, I have found, is to remember where you put it. The scraper I used to make bread the first week was missing for most of the month--until I went to get the rolling pin from the auxiliary drawer in the closet! Oh, right, I remember putting it there. I don't have canisters on the counter, the space is too valuable. I don't have a huge assortment of spices. The quiche that's in the oven called for a sprinkling of paprika. Will the quiche taste terrible without it? I doubt it. I will have to keep track. OK, today I'm using a can of black beans; need to put another can on the list. Don't buy 2 cans. I don't have a variety of grains right now--no quinoa, farro, couscous. Two kinds of pasta: long and short. I do have 3 kinds of flour, but you probably don't need them. I might whittle it down to 2. On the Massachusetts front, the P&S Agreement is signed, so it looks like the sale will go through. Our furniture will go into storage the end of March, the day before the closing. Then we will either stay in NC, travel, or find a short-term rental. In any case, the longer it takes to find the perfect North Shore house, the more money we will save. (Storing furniture is not very expensive; the bigger cost is moving it twice, but still less than a month's mortgage, utilities, etc.). One of the details to work out is planning a trip north, less than a week, to pack up and get rid of everything we left there. And say hello to Dad and D. I would love to know when the weather will be good. When will the airfares be best? When will we have no obligations here?

House-selling woes

OK, I'm having a little slump. It's 30 out now in Durham, although the sun is shining in the windows and I think it will warm up soon. On Wednesday, my day to work for CSN, there wasn't much for me to do. I thought about looking for another part-time job, but did the puzzle instead. I baked the cookies I had made and frozen in little sugary balls a couple weeks ago. The last couple days have seen some activity about selling our house, but not a lot of exciting options for buying one. Ray and I are toying with the idea of traveling for a month or so after the sale, since we won't have anywhere to live (except Durham, which will get pretty hot). This pandemic is one thing interfering with that plan. Also, not sure I would be happy with the uncertainty of it--without a place to come home to...not knowing what we might be missing... There were some permits that had been pulled for work done to the house previously that had never been closed. Shame on those contractors. I will say they acted quickly to solve the problem. Inspections were signed and everything was fine. The other problem was the front door. This is kind of a lesson for anyone in a similar situation. We had our house painted, and clapboards replaced as necessary. They did a great job and everyone loved it (well, some people thought it was a little bright). The trim around the front door needed some work and I had the idea to add a small roof over the door. I had talked to the president of the historical society, who said it could be done, they would most likely approve it. I lined up a contractor. Bob went to the building inspector (I think) and found that we would need an architect to draw up the plans and have to get approval for two variances, as well as the historical society. The whole process would probably take a year and cost lots more than we wanted to spend. So much for having a covered entrance (especially needed in this time of so many home deliveries). We asked Bob if he would just repair the trim where it needed it and paint it. He said sure, could he do it in September? We asked how long it would take and he said less than a week. OK, we said. Well, September came and went and we didn't hear from him. Eventually, he came by and apologetically said he would not be able to do the work. He gave us the molding samples he had gotten and said he would happily consult with someone who would do the work. Turns out, he had several heart attacks and really couldn't do the physical labor any more. We tried some other names, but had the same luck we had dealt with in the years of living there--people said yes, but didn't every follow through, or just didn't return calls. So, now, we had agreed with the realtor to give a credit to the buyer for the cost of the trim painting. This particular buyer wanted $4000. We said $1000, and there is sat for a few days. Eventually, we gave in and agreed to $2000. Moral of the story being, go ahead and get the painting done, even if you plan to redo the work soon. I also had someone come and give an estimate of moving all our furniture to storage. Turns out, storage doesn't cost much. We will just add the cost of moving everything a second time. The total is about what we would pay for housing during a month, so it's kind of a break-even situation. And the storage itself is about $200, so the longer they keep it, the more money we "save." That's the money we might spend on a trip.

Is that all there is?

She said to herself, "Is that all there is to life?" Of course, no one promised anything. There was no reason to expect happiness, fulfillment...I guess people are just wired that way: there must be a reason we're here, an explanation for our existence. But science says otherwise, it's just chance, evolution. The dog doesn't wonder about his purpose in life. We've just developed expectations, along with our ability to think. 

I think of the song, well, now I don't even remember the song..."is that all there is?" Is it Que Sera Sera? I don't like to say I'm at the end of my life, but I'm definitely not at the beginning. You could accurately say I'm in the latter half of my life, even if I live to be 110. I'm very fortunate, never hungry for long, never without a place to sleep. And I'm not really unhappy now, just kind of wondering. 

I've worked hard, tried to be a good person, raised children, been a caring wife. Even this morning, I've already cooked oatmeal (well, it did run over into the burner and smell) and washed a few dishes. 

It's cold here today, 28 out and the heat has been running almost nonstop since I woke up hours ago.  But the sun is coming. 

Yesterday I made a delicious recipe from New York Times Cooking. It was very simple, too. Mac and cheese with broccoli, all cooked in one pot on the stove. Ray prepped the broccoli, so all I did was throw everything in the pot. Amelia came and ate some with us. I also baked meringues, with nuts. They turned out very well. 

We did have a stressful day. The realtor called to say the buyer wants some permits closed. What? I had no idea. Two contractors who did work on our house (and were paid) did not have the final inspections done. One of them was for insulation in the walls. We had to call and make arrangements for the city to come approve the work on Wednesday morning, which means letting our tenant know. We have no idea how they can inspect work that is inside the walls, that have since been re-covered and freshly painted. We'll see. I haven't reached the other contractor yet, the one who did some work on the roof when I first arrived. I wasn't very happy with him and do not know what will happen if he doesn't respond. Then there are two other permits from 2010, long before we owned the house. The realtor is going to talk to the city and see what can be done. 

Other than that, not much happened. The day seemed to go by quickly. I talked to my sister on the phone, worked on the puzzle and did some bookkeeping for Amelia's business. We didn't take the car out at all. 

Busy

Yesterday, Ray and I attended a church service, in person, and sang in the choir. The choir at ERUUF sings with masks. There was a soloist who unmasked when he sang. The minister really liked our singing. I did too. Amelia's Durham friend Becky, the social worker, came and hugged me afterwards. I have learned several people's names so far. We had to be there at 8:45 am, which is a little early for us these days. After an hour, we stopped and the ministers and service leaders prepared in the space. We had an hour to sit quietly (or go away and come back). The building is lovely, with views from windows of trees. We sang hymns from the teal hymnal, the newer one that we rarely use in Beverly. I thought the service was excellent, although it did run over. They are getting ready to do a strategic 5-year plan, which is a little weird for us to be involved in. Clint was one of the greeters and he was talking to people about putting in electric chargers. They have a grant for most of the cost, but want the congregation to be in agreement about spending the rest of the money from the budget. I'm in favor, but should my voice be equally valuable with long-time year-round members? I have a blue nametag as a visitor/new member. 

It rained all day. After a quick lunch of leftovers, Ray dropped me off at the protest site for Bigger than Roe, a celebration of the 50th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. There were about 8 of us and we didn't last long. It was a little rainy, but mostly quite cold for most people. I wore my big puffy coat and boots and mittens, so I was fine. They were showing "Come from Away" at the Performing Arts Center (Ray and I saw it on Broadway and really liked it). The officials from DPAC did not want the protesters on "their" sidewalk engaging with people coming to see it. Most people were supportive. 

I spent the afternoon at Amelia's shop. I was planning to take the bus--they're free! But the organizer, Miriam, gave me a ride. She knew Amelia slightly and had been there. The store was busy, which is always gratifying. I knit on a sweater project that I have been working on off and on. The more time I spend there, the more I want to buy. I bought some fancy buttons for a sweater I finished a while ago that doesn't have buttons. I want to make some more underwear, but I left the pattern in Beverly. I really want to make a Handmaid's cape and there is some great red fabric, but I don't have a pattern. It will take a lot of fabric and probably needs to be lined.