Is that all there is?

She said to herself, "Is that all there is to life?" Of course, no one promised anything. There was no reason to expect happiness, fulfillment...I guess people are just wired that way: there must be a reason we're here, an explanation for our existence. But science says otherwise, it's just chance, evolution. The dog doesn't wonder about his purpose in life. We've just developed expectations, along with our ability to think. 

I think of the song, well, now I don't even remember the song..."is that all there is?" Is it Que Sera Sera? I don't like to say I'm at the end of my life, but I'm definitely not at the beginning. You could accurately say I'm in the latter half of my life, even if I live to be 110. I'm very fortunate, never hungry for long, never without a place to sleep. And I'm not really unhappy now, just kind of wondering. 

I've worked hard, tried to be a good person, raised children, been a caring wife. Even this morning, I've already cooked oatmeal (well, it did run over into the burner and smell) and washed a few dishes. 

It's cold here today, 28 out and the heat has been running almost nonstop since I woke up hours ago.  But the sun is coming. 

Yesterday I made a delicious recipe from New York Times Cooking. It was very simple, too. Mac and cheese with broccoli, all cooked in one pot on the stove. Ray prepped the broccoli, so all I did was throw everything in the pot. Amelia came and ate some with us. I also baked meringues, with nuts. They turned out very well. 

We did have a stressful day. The realtor called to say the buyer wants some permits closed. What? I had no idea. Two contractors who did work on our house (and were paid) did not have the final inspections done. One of them was for insulation in the walls. We had to call and make arrangements for the city to come approve the work on Wednesday morning, which means letting our tenant know. We have no idea how they can inspect work that is inside the walls, that have since been re-covered and freshly painted. We'll see. I haven't reached the other contractor yet, the one who did some work on the roof when I first arrived. I wasn't very happy with him and do not know what will happen if he doesn't respond. Then there are two other permits from 2010, long before we owned the house. The realtor is going to talk to the city and see what can be done. 

Other than that, not much happened. The day seemed to go by quickly. I talked to my sister on the phone, worked on the puzzle and did some bookkeeping for Amelia's business. We didn't take the car out at all.