Well, there is some heavy-heartedness this morning, but I am much better than yesterday.
Ray and I did some cleaning up yesterday morning. I vacuumed. Captain and Vanessa had people coming to play bridge. I think they felt bad that we were thrashing around to clean for them, but it's good to have an incentive. It turned out to be Ann Stoneburner and Robert Wyatt (I may not be getting the names exactly right). They have a son who is in grad. school in Brazil...because that's where his girlfriend is. Ray recognized them; we're not sure from where--maybe swimming or cross-country?
Dave and Don did a service on ministerial transitions yesterday. It was about how hard it is to be a minister, because you have to care deeply about your parishioners, but you can't be friends with them...and then you have to leave them for their own good. Terre's name was not menioned, but I think that's what it was about. They (ministers) are apparently not given much training about this...or even warned. One guy was quoted as saying he would not have signed up if anyone had told him ahead of time. Anyway, Don also talked about how hard it was to leave an agency and clients...and I thought, yes, I am still grieving for leaving IHN. Anyway, a good service. We grabbed some lunch at Dos Palmas (fish tacos for me) and were back in time for Gary Anderson's memorial service. I did not know him and am not very close to Lisa, but she is a very private and quiet person. There were only about 20 at the service. I often think, when I attend a memorial, about what music I want at my service--there are so many good ones!
"Comfort Me" is a great hymn.
I had to leave before it was over in order to get to Marie's service at 3, which was embarrassing, since the choir was sitting in the front. Ray and I always find it hard to atttend Christian services. He says why do they talk about a merciful God? I like to sing, it feels like something I can contribute, so don't worry that I don't agree with the words. But I do feel like a hypocrite bowing my head and saying (to myself) no no no. Florence King was there once again, singing "How Can I Keep from Singing?" with a great big smile. It was almost creepy, but I know she is hurting a lot too.
After the service there was a reception, lots of good food of which I had none. Just water. The children were there: Beth (10) and Jim (8). I had not seen them much lately, although Beth was in Inherit the Wind with us years ago (7?). They were surrounded by their friends, because of course they left town suddenly last Saturday and didn't get to say goodbye to them, so this was good for them, I think. Harriet was sticking close to Jim--I suppose family members were busy greeting. She said the children had not been told who killed their mother, but they must have suspected or wondered why he wasn't taking care of them. She was on guard for one of the friends to say something to him, but it didn't happen. I was trying to take care of her as much as possible, which involved bringing her a glass of water. I met Regina Quick, who was a family lawyer with Marie, and clearly very shaken. Kay Giese was there, too. There were pieces of paper where any of us could write down our happy memories of Marie for Jim or Beth. I could not really think of anything to write--she was witty and elegant--everyone has said that, but not any specific stories to share. Ray took one--I assume he wrote about Noises Off. He is truly upset as well. Although he has been angry at me, he assures me he would never shoot me. He cannot fathom anyone killing another person.
The chiffon cake with strawberries and whipped cream was out of this world! I slept pretty well, but still woke up too early.
It's raining again now (yay!).
This whole thing has been affecting me more than I expected. It is unfathomable. The only way I can understand it is that people who kill other people except in self-defense are mentally ill in some way, at least temporarily. But I don't know if that's really true. That's certainly not the view the law takes.
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