Another Saturday morning, with very little on my plate. I am staying in Molli's apartment while she is away, competing in the mock trial Regionals in Connecticut. Her ward and sister-in-law, Tamara, is 16 and moved to this country from Mexico less than a year ago. I will cook for her and myself and we will keep each other company this weekend. The challenge is that she is recovering from a kidney infection, with the help of antibiotics, and eating very little other than saltine crackers. A week ago, she vomited all weekend, something she had never previously experienced. She has been to the emergency room twice and still has some lower back pain.

She and I get along quite well: she reserves her teenage behavior for Molli, who stands in for her mother now. We enjoy watching Jane the Virgin, which is a very fun TV series, a little like a parody of a "telenovela" or soap opera. It is funny and touching, with close family relationships and a heroine who is saving herself for marriage to her wonderful boyfriend. Her grandmother speaks only Spanish (with subtitles), so you could say it is educational!

Although it snowed yesterday, it is not very cold out and is starting to melt. One of the advantages of apartments, usually, is they are warmer and easier to heat than freestanding houses. This one is particularly comfortable, because the heat is included in the rent and so it can be turned up freely. It's more likely to be too warm for me than too cold. My apartment, on the other hand, does not include the cost of electricity in the rent. I got my first bill, for $180, for less than a month! This is for two rooms...and I keep it turned down most of the time. I was really shocked. I have now turned it off, at least while I'm staying here. I can function just fine with sweaters and blankets. I hope the heating season will not be too much longer!

I am comfortable in Molli's apartment, having spent many weeks here this fall, cooking for them and making myself at home. I still prefer my own place. It has everything I want in it and nothing I don't...pretty much. Although no one could call me a neat freak, I am trying to only have the things I need, and everything in its place, a la Marie Kondo, sort of. I do like her way of folding clothes and lining them up in my drawers so I can see what my options are, and I love her philosophy of cherishing things and being grateful for them.

The other thing that is not perfect about Molli's place is the presence of her husband's absence. It pains me to be reminded of him and how is not here for her or Tamara. I miss him from my life too, or at least my fantasy of what my life might have been like.

Other things that make this day more stressful than it should be: the absence of my husband and the fact that our house is not yet ready to be sold. If the house should sell for a good price, we would be very happy and able to move ahead with our plans for the next phase of our lives. Sigh. I am here and I should be there...maybe. When I am there, I am quite productive in working on throwing things away...but there is so much and the work is so slow!

Okay, the biggest thing bothering me: my job. When I was offered this great job with this great international nonprofit, I was thrilled. "See," I said, "it is easier here. I am appreciated in this area and can get work easily!" Not so fast. The man who offered me the job is now saying I am working too many hours...the grants have not come through as he had hoped and he cannot afford me. I do the books, so I know that is true, sort of. I also know what other things he spends money on, and my salary is a pretty small part of it. Nonetheless, he has the right...I am just not sure if I misunderstood him, he has changed his mind, or his memory is perhaps at fault, or I have not worked out as he hoped.

I will be okay, I will find other work, I will muddle along. But I would not have signed a one-year lease on an apartment without being sure I could cover the rent. I almost did last month, but the flights back and forth, the cost of commuting to work, and now the electric bill, are being subsidized by Ray's generosity. This month looks even worse...at the moment. It is possible I could get an awesome new job that would more than cover my expenses. I have applied for several.

But for today, do the laundry, go to the market, cook food...and be glad you can!