Rainy Saturday in October

The rain is pouring down outside the window, but the sky is brighter than it has been most of the day.  The two dirt tracks leading to our house are muddy and wet. Trees are still green, the rose of sharon is blooming, but there is some yellow too. I am feeling particularly lucky to have this home, this window, as much food as I want, any sort of entertainment I choose. Right now I am listening to music, bourbon in my glass, in a parody of the Old Fashioned my mother might have made for me on a day like this. I had some sugar syrup, added a few drops of bitters and poured in the bourbon, ice, and water to fill the glass. It's not as good, but less trouble, and reminds me of her and the many times she cared for me in small ways and big. I take a bite of brownie, a sip of bourbon, and a bite of potato chip--the good kind from the Earth Fare store. It is decadent, but I am grateful. I like to think I am doing it in part for those who can't. Those who are shivering under the bridge would share my pleasures if they could.

I have sauteed some sausage and onion and will be able to eat dinner when I want. It is the first cool day in many months and I am happy to be wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt and socks! I spent several hours in the rain earlier today, selling baked goods at the farmer's market, so I "earned" my rest. I made about $35, before expenses, not really enough to make it worthwhile. Still, it seems a good activity, with kindred spirits and regular customers. The man from the bread bakery gave away bread to all of us. He said they would just throw it away if he brought it back. I gave him some quiche and cookies. In fact, I made more from the other vendors than from customers today. In addition to the cool rainy weather, it is a home football game in Athens today, a big one, against Alabama. Some people are busy getting ready for the game and some don't want to venture out when the streets are full of fans. The traffic was bad as early as Thursday and we stayed in all day Friday to avoid it.

I am having ongoing discussions with myself (and others) about the next stage of my life. I reminded myself a few days ago that 60 is only 3/4 of 80, so I probably have about 1/4 of my life left! I can still do lots of fun and good things. Look at Jimmy Carter...Ray and I are agreed that we are ready to leave Athens, in spite of much we love here. The summers are brutal and the politics of the state depressing. We like living out here in the country, but not the driving (most commuters would not think we drive much). So, our next adventure will be in another state. Massachusetts is a leading contender. Much of Ray's family still lives there and so do Molli and Tamara. I want to be as much a part of their life as I can, and I want Ray to, as well. He thinks he will retire in about 3 years and is obsessing about the details, when he is not obsessing about his class preparations.

We will live in a more urban area, but that is one of the things we are thinking about. Really urban? Where we never use our car and live very close to lots of other people? Or a little further out, so that we might grow a few vegetables and see some green? We don't have to decide yet, and we may rent for a while so we can see what lifestyle we want. I am also tempted by the idea of building another house...smaller, maybe much smaller. Maybe. But living where we can walk to many different stores, or take a bus to the science museum has a lot of appeal. Paradoxically, a city lifestyle allows residents to get a lot more exercise, walking here and there rather than jumping in the car anytime we want to go anywhere. The higher cost of some things may be offset by not owning a car, paying for gas or insurance and repairs. And it is better for the environment.

We will need to find new friends, like-minded activists and probably Unitarians. How much gainful employment will we have? Can we afford to travel and live the way we want without it? How much time for volunteer activities.

I spent three weeks in Cambridge, some days being a substitute teacher in the Somerville schools, going to church there in a really old brick building with an organ and stained glass windows. I walked a lot, buying and carrying groceries and cooking for the three of us. I didn't take advantage of the restaurants or most of the other "tourist" sites, but tried to get the feel of city life. I was really tired and went to bed early many nights. If I am going to walk to the store, it needs to be within a few blocks. I felt at home, although I missed my home too. I'm ready to take the plunge, but there is a lot that needs to happen first, starting with getting my house ready to sell, not as much fun as being in a new place.