Ah, Spring!

And an old woman's fancy turns to thoughts of...gardening? I will be 60 this year...I don't know what I thought 60 would be like, but this isn't it...maybe that I would be decrepit and unable to walk or function...which is certainly not the case. But neither do I feel wise or content to happily look back over my life. I am still as conflicted as ever, not feeling like my life has made the difference it should have, but very pleased and grateful that I have never been hungry, never lacked a bed to sleep in...unless you count the time I was hitchhiking to Canada with another student from Middlebury and slept in the hallway of some kind of office building in Swanton, VT (is that a real place or did I just make it up?). They didn't let us into Canada when we couldn't give a good reason for going there and answered truthfully that we only had about $10 between us. I guess nowadays most students would have credit cards and would be able to get in...

Ever the optimist, I still hope for the chance to do something remarkable with my one short life, but I feel time running out for that to happen. 

Meanwhile, I have a good life, such as it is. Food to eat, a companion to share it with, a lovely home, even a good dog. I just want more, I want to make a difference, do something exciting, interesting, useful...

This is the end of tax season, only a few more weeks to make as much money as I can, and rest up the remainder of the year. Last year, I made about $15,000, including the hours I spent teaching the Introductory Tax Class in Atlanta. Many people I know make 10 times that much in a year...and a few people that I don't know personally make 100 or 1000  times that much. On the other hand, there are those who make less, quite a bit less, and don't have a well-paid partner to support them in the style to which they are accustomed. I have met many of them at the tax office, people with disabilities or minimum-wage part-time jobs. Today's was a stock clerk. His mother died last year and a relative came with him. I suspect he is what some would call "slow." He is working, but someone must be helping him because he could not live on what he makes. Maybe his mother left him the house and all he pays for is his groceries. Perhaps as a stock clerk, he gets a discount on them. 

Many people a lot older than me come to the tax office...one 97, one 93, some with walkers or canes. Some are wealthy and some are poor, but that has little bearing on their quality of life. A couple of retirees came in and we laughed our way through the tax interview. "At least I can still laugh," he said. He used to teach at the university and has a good retirement income, plus investments he is slowly cashing in. They both appear to be in good health, so the assisted living isn't eating all his money. "He knows how to pay the bills and keep up with the finances," she said, "in case I go first." So many of my women friends had no  idea what to do about things when their husbands died. One didn't even know what bank the account was at."