Hi,

Here we are in Seattle, where the windows are open and it is downright chilly this early in the morning. It's 5:40 local time, which makes it 8:40 in Athens, so my body thinks it's high time to get up. By the end of the week, I may have adjusted some. Ray and I are sleeping on a fold-out couch in my sister's front room. This is a beautiful house and I love Seattle. There are hardwood floors and built-in bookcases, lots of windows with views of Seattle and the water. Yesterday, there was fog (neblina in Spanish!).

My sister and her husband, Jim, have adopted Lidet, a 3-year-old from Ethiopia. Lidet has been here 8 weeks. Before she arrived, she had not spoken any English and had been living in an orphanage with other children. Needless to say, her world has changed a great deal. I learned a couple of words of Amharic yesterday, my first day here. Dinach (don't know how it's spelled, but rhymes with spinach as far as I can tell) is potato. Baka (again, don't know how it's spelled) means enough or I don't want any more. She has a dazzling smile when she's happy, which is often, and seems to be quite smart and independent. Sometimes she cannot make herself understood, which is frustrating. Most of the time, she is a typical 3-year-old. Frequently, she will start to pout, which may or may not develop into a full-blown temper tantrum within 5 seconds. Polly will usually carry her up to her room or away from the action, after trying to give her a choice about her behavior. "Lidet, if you use your words to ask for what you want, we can talk about it..." As time goes by, she is more likely to be able to stop herself from the full-blown tantrum. Polly says the major meltdowns are less frequent now and don't last as long as they used to. It's pretty exhausting for her, even when there's not a tantrum. "Mom, Mom, watch." Part of my reason for being here is to give her some relief. I offered yesterday to weed the garden and Polly said, "No, you take care of my kids and I'll weed the garden." Sounds like a good plan to me.

Of course, Nate, who is almost 7, remembers me. I am the queen of games. Yesterday after breakfast, we started with go fish (after ascertaining that I had not brought any new games with me). Nate requested Double Go Fish, which involves 2 decks of cards and collecting 8 of any number. It lasted quite a while. At least then, Polly has only one child hanging on her every minute!

Nate and Lidet have, in some ways, typical sibling issues, which was part of the point of adopting Lidet, to provide a sibling for Nate. Lidet is a very good mimic. If Nate is playing with his stuffed animals, organizing them and talking to them, Lidet is too. If Nate has some candy, even if Lidet already ate hers up, she will try to grab his. Nate has been taught to be gentle and share, but his sister is pretty agressive, probably in part from growing up with lots of other children. Nate is told, "use your words, tell her what you want." He finds it hard to make her understand and pretty frustrating.

In the afternoon, we play another game. "Let's choose something Lidet can play," I say. He is scornful. "She doesn't understand what we tell her." "Let's try," I say. "Maybe Candyland." He is amazed. "My parents don't like to play games like Candyland and Uncle Wiggly." I can't really tell him that I am delighted to play anything at all with him, it is not a question of intellectual stimulation, but the joy of his company and enthusiasm that gives me so much pleasure." Lidet knows her colors, so Candyland is a good choice. She has clearly been exposed to the game. "I love this," she says, moving her playing piece into the field of lollypops. She clearly understands the basic idea. She can count in English, but doesn't appear to associate the numbers with the squares on the board. "One, two, three,..." she taps her piece on the board a random number of times. But she wins, although she loses interest before then. Nate and I play on, until she drags out another game--Sorry.

Although Nate loves to play, he won't play with Lidet and me because he knows she can't play. I say, "I'm doing your job, Nate, I'm teaching her to play so she can play with you for hours and years." And, indeed, we enjoy it, although I have to tell her what card she has drawn and what action to take. When she loses interest, Nate takes over from her. He is the expert, reminding me that 4 is backwards and 11 allows you to switch places with someone. Without my reading glasses, I haven't been able to read the fine print on the cards.

Later in the day, we walk down the streed a few houses to have dinner with good friends of Polly's--Sherry and Matt and their children Sam and Sally. I feel like I am in a novel. The house is a lovely old Seattle house, on the side of the hill, with a view. It has what Amelia would call "good bones." But inside, it is a mishmash of old random furniture, with children's projects everywhere. Matt is a middle school science teacher, and this is clearly a kid-centered home. Some people make sure to childproof their houses; this is the opposite, this house is nearly adult-proof! There is a cardboard diorama of the Grand Canyon, with a California condor suspended in the middle. Sam is probably ten and Sally eight. They know Nate, and now Lidet, very well, and have played together a lot. Lidet produces paintings for our admiration and after supper, the children dress in costumes and parade for us. They are giggling and happy. Lidet sports a tie and Nate a mask and brown furry costume--a bear? It is wonderful to see children allowed and encouraged to be themselves and explore their creativity--and take care of each other.

Polly is allowed to be a grownup and talk with her friends about the challenges of being Lidet's Mom. She has taken her to a Montessori preschool for a visit and feels like she will be happy there. The teacher, who has lots of experience with 3-year-olds, assures her that Lidet is fine. She seems to be developmentally on track and is able to separate from her Mom and go explore some of the activities. Polly is clearly relieved. She relishes the expert confirmation that her child is fine and it will be okay if Polly is allowed to have a small space in her life for herself.

At 9:00, we force ourselves to leave. The children are reluctant, but the adults are tired. We arrived at 2 in the morning and Polly met us at the airport, so we did not really have enough sleep.

Now, I am waiting for the little feet to come donw the stairs. I have told Nate that he can come find me when he wakes up, as long as it is light out. Hmm. I wonder what the first game of the day will be. But I better put on some warm clothes before then...it's Seattle!