I am not a psychologist. I took an intro to Psychology course in college...omg, that was 35 years ago! I am a social worker, although I am sure the psychologists will tell you, that is not the same thing. However, I believe there is some idea that some people's issues stem from their challenge early in life to separate the self from the other, in that case, their mothers.

I am often surprised to realize I have more in common with my father than my mother, and a little dismayed. My mother is gentle and patient, while I am often not. This may or may not tell you something about my father. Of course, given the crapshoot that is genetics, probably half of us are more like our fathers than our mothers. Still, it seems a little unnatural as a woman, to take after a man. One wonders how much is genetics and how much environment, that age-old question. No doubt about it, my father has a strong personality and dominated our family. In fact, he still does at 83.

My question at this point is how separate is my self from that of my husband's, after 30+ years?