I wake up. It's dark out. I look at my watch, pushing the little button to light it up and putting on my glasses (missing one bow) to do it. Almost 5:30, pretty good. I have slept well. I wore my CPAP until 2 am, I recall. I had Nyquil before I went to bed, but don't think I had anything else at 2. Now I am very thirsty. I get up and fill my little stainless steel water cup again and lie down to try to sleep. No way, for one thing, this cold has reached the stage of incredible body-wracking coughing. Nothing will help but strong medicine. I am so glad to have this available to me. I am generally a person who resists medication, but there have been times that I have been out of cough syrup or for some reason (pregnancy?) not been able to do anything but cough and cough. I think of our forebears, on the prairie or even in the caves, with nothing to do but cough helplessly.

My Dad would help us with hiccups by saying, "Don't think of a white bear," and then he would ask, "are you thinking of a white bear?" And I would be, no matter how hard I treid not to. Now the thought comes that a week from today Molli and Adrian will be leaving again. I try to bury it. "Don't be ungrateful," I say. I give in and get up, filling the little cup with Dayquil and drinking it a sip at a time, appreciatively.

Yesterday morning I would have liked to do some baking or cooking, but didn't feel quite good enough. I made myself breakfast and worked on my knitting a bit and read my e-mail. After a while, Ray got up, then Amelia. We debated when we needed to wake Molli up. Four of us finally got in the car and we arrived at our destination about 10 minutes late. Ray stayed home. It was a caterer in Madison, Georgia: Hallie Jane's. It was a funny building, clearly a working caterer, with examples of china and other supplies everywhere. The office was upstairs, open to below, also crowded with resources, as well as desks and computers. Bethany was expecting us. She wore Tina Fey glasses and was quite competent. We talked about style and menu for almost two hours. Adrain said very little. I mostly let Molli speak, but did throw in my opinion sometimes. She will mail us two proposals, one for a sit-down dinner and one for heavy hors d'oeuvres. Then we will begin to take things away and try to get it to a price we can live with. Of course, we are meeting with one other caterer as well. Before we left, we asked her for the best restaurant in Madison. She was not enthusiastic and the place she would have recommended was closed on Mondays.

We wandered through an excellent antique mall in the same building before we left the caterer. I bought some silvery napkin rings, something Adrian had requested for a wedding present. Amelia was very slow. Molli was the least interested. There was a lot of great stuff.

We ate at the Chop House. We made fun of the menu and the waitress and the clientele. The food was okay--Amelia had some frozen reheated vegetables with cheese. Molli and Adrian really enjoyed their meat and my fish was quite good. The Caesar salad had too much cheesy dressing on it and I only took a couple bites. Now I am becoming one of those people who asks, "can I have the dressing on the side?" Molli and Adrian treated us. We talked about the caterer and the wedding and whether we really want to assign peopel to tables and have them sit there. Molli is taken with the elegance of beng waited on. I do not want people to feel like they are trapped in their assigned seats and waiting for the next course or activity. Someone points out that if you have assigned seats, you can introduce your friends to people that they didn't know; otherwise they will only hang out with the same people. Amelia advocates for something none of us had thought of until the caterer mentioned it: famly style. You assign tables but not seats and serve food in bowls and platters so people can take what they like. A little friendlier?

We wander down the street in Madison and go itno another antique store. Adrian finds some Masonic cuff links and admires them. Amelia and Molli buy them for him--a wedding present from Molli, while I attempt to distract him, clumsily. Although he doesn't speak English and is not familiar with our customs, I suspect this practice is not specific to us and he knows perfectly well what is going on. There are many things in this store as well, but I manage not to buy anything! I am intrigued by the idea of having a store where I buy up things and resell them. I would go to Madison and other small towns around and bring them back to Athens to sell at a profit. Surely other people have thought of this and are doing it. I could start with a few yard sales or a booth at a flea market. First to clean out my house of my own junk...

As we start home, we debate buying a Christmas tree. Since we bought this property in Kenney Ridge, we have always cut a tree from the land, but this year I am not finding any that seem good enough and I have been toying with this thought and trying it on with various people. We came by the sign for Jack's Creek Christmas trees on our way here and will go back by it. This is where we used to cut them years ago. We call my Dad and Ray and ask us to drive down in the truck and meet us (with the saws). We get there before them and walk through the rows of trees: pine, cedar, some other odd varieties. The pines are small and misshapen, a cedar might do. I don't care a lot, but allow Amelia and Molli to decide. Amelia has the strongest opinions.

We wander back toward the entrance, to meet the truck. A puppy comes up to me and I pick it up. The owner is tall and thin. He has a cap on and a strong country accent that we enjoy hearing. There are a couple of fir trees in a barn, already in holders. They are very tall and one is $100. The other is $75, but the owner says he would go $40. When the men arrive, we show them a cedar and the fir. My father is horrified to spend that much money on a tree, but he loves getting a bargain. The fir smells like Christmas and, for me and my Dad, is a "real" Christmas tree in a way that a cedar is not. The owner shows us a few more, even taller, in another barn. They have been kept in water and Amelia says they are still fresh. They were cut in North Carolina; they don't grow around here. He says he will let us have one of them for $40. We can fit a very tall tree in our house. Of course, it is late in the season and he will likely not be able to sell these big ones to anyone else. An assistant materializes who is Mexican. He and Adrian chat briefly and he bales our tree in netting. Ray and Adrian put bungie cords on it and tie it into the back of the truck, the top hanging out. The price tag says $175. I am giddy. It is an incredible tree. Will people believe we cut it from our property? They are going to be amazed to see it at our house, knowing that we usually cut our own.

I ride with my father back to town. He tells me of his adventures earlier in the day, attending a holiday luncheon with the exercise group my mother attended. One of the men, Dr. John, has introduced Daddy to a woman whose husband just died. "I know you're not ready," he says, "but..." Daddy is annoyed. Why would anyone think that was appropriate? I know Dr. John. He is very kind. I can't really decide whether to laugh or be sad or angry. Now I am sad, but yesterday it was mostly funny to me. We stop in town at the Porterhouse Grill, where they have saved some food scraps for us. The bucket is heavier this time.

At Karen's house, Ray is waiting for us. He carries the bucket to the pigs and dumps it out for them. I get the pocessed food for them from the giant garbage can. The food from Porterhouse overflows their "dish." It includes grits (from Sunday brunch) and cheese, as well as lots of vegetables. The pigs are in hog heaven...it is fun to watch them. Karen sells me some cheese (queso blanco) she has made and some cultured vegetables a raw food cook she knows is selling. I ride in the back fo the truck with the tree from Karen's house. Ray's back is hurting and he rides up front. We seem to go very fast; the wind is cold, so I duck down behind the cab with the empty food bucket and the smell of fir tree. Life is good.

At home, the girls are preparing food and drink. Molli is working on a hot toddy for me. Amelia is peeling potatoes for latkes. It is the first night of Hanukkah and it is just past sundown. I quickly light the candles, the shamus and the first candle. My Dad stays just long enough for that. Molli looks up the right words on her computer...baruch adonai elohenu...blessed art thou, the Lord our God...then some of us sing a song we know about the Maccabees. Captain leaves. Adrian reads the Godfather in Spanshi. Molli has bought it for him because he loves the movie, the idea of respect. Amelia doesn't want any help; she won't even use my recipe, but has found one on her iPhone, on Smitten Kitchen. Molli makes chicken for herself and Adrian. She doesn't really like potato pancakes and Adrian would always eat meat at every meal. There is leftover pork roast, but Amelia has put her foot down, no pork with the latkes. I try to wait for a good time to finish up the dessert and put it in the oven--chocolate eclipse. The kitchen is a mess, but after we eat, Ray loads the dishwasher and starts it. We talk some about the next day and then Amelia goes up to the sewing machiine. Ray and Molli and I watch the first episode of Big Bang Theory. She is a fan and our excuse for saving every one of them, which is crowding out everything else and using up our DVR space.

My phone ran out of battery in the middle of the day, so I have no pictures. Amelia has taken some of the great tree hunt; probably they are on Facebook. It is almost 10 when I fall asleep.

Yesterday morning Amelia left a little after 7 (in Kevin's car) to go to a job she found on line. For one day, she was an Art Production Assistant ($200) for a commercial. It was one of those Got Milk? commercials (or series of commercials) featuring members of the Olympic swim team and they shot it at the UGA pool. We were all thrilled, of course, but it meant she was not involved in most of the day's adventures. I made bacon and pancakes and Ray and I tried not to eat them. My Dad came, but Molli still wasn't up. Finally, Ray woke her up sometime after 9. He and I took a quick walk and came back. We all had to shower and dress.

Then we left in two cars, because my Dad was planning to go home directly from the church. Molli and Adrian rode with him and left a little before us. They stopped to get coffees on the way. Ray and I got there 2 minutes late and saved 5 seats together. It was a special Hanukkah service with a klezmer band (one of the reasons Captain wanted to come), and it was pretty full. We kept watching who came in and telling them they couldn't sit there. At quarter after 11, Ray went out to call them and look for them. He came back with Molli and Adrian and Captain were behind them. Turns out, after they got the coffee, when they were already late, he announced he needed to stop by his house to leave some lettuce he had picked (so it would stay fresh). Ray and I tried not to let it get to us, but really...

It was a fun service and there were lots of people there that Molli knew (Meredith and Le'Ann, George K...). We chatted until we were about the last ones there. My Dad took off in his car and we went to Publix to get a few things...milk is apparently something Adrian drinks a lot of and there was none at my house (that wasn't sour).

At home, Molli went to work making a "rub" for the roast pork that I had thawed and planned to eat. It was going to be more than two hours, so I ate some leftover eggplant casserole and some fruit and yogurt. She also prepared the sweet potatoes. Then the three of them went for a walk. Meanwhile, Amelia had called. They were looking for a certain glass for their shoot and she hadn't been able to find it. Straight sides, unadorned... She was pretty sure the glasses we had would be perfect. Technology fail! I took a photo of the glass with my phone and emailed it to her...15 minutes...20 minutes. She didn't get it. Ray took one with his phone, right before he left. She called; the director would like a picture of it with a hand. I struggled with Ray's phone and could not get it to take a picture. He's out in the woods. I can't call him, because he left his phone for just this purpose... Amelia calls. Fortunately, she's not freaking out. She suggests I send the photo on my phone via instant message instead of e-mail. So complicated. That works! The director likes my glasses. He asks for her ETA (which means we want them right now). She drives here, comes in and gets 4 of them and drives off again. The people out walking never see her. Someday, we will all see an ad and it will star my glass. I can't even remember where I got them--a yard sale or vintage store, probably.

The walkers come back. We eat our delicious meal and get ready to rush off. We stop to feed the pigs. Ray wears my Dad's overalls over his good pants and his rubber boots. I watch from afar so I don't get  dirty.

We drive to Town & Gown. It is about 10 after 5. Other people have set up the concessions for me. Ray and I running the box office for Hedwig and the Angry Inch. This is a show Molli and Amelia introduced us to 5 or 6 years ago. Our friend Nathan is playing Hedwig and we are excited. Amelia texts me. She is done and will meet us at the show. One of the glasses got broken, so she has two cases of new glasses to replace it. One was too short and squat, one was too tall. The show is well attended, but not sold out. It is a Sunday night. We are a little disappointed, although the music still rocks. Hard for amateur theater to compete with a movie we have seen.

We want to go to the Grit. We drive there in two cars, park and walk to the restaurant, to find it is closing at 8 for a private party. We go next door to Graze, but it is not the same. In fact, we think Amelia's black bean burgers are fermented. They give us coupons for a free dessert (next time) in apology. We drive home. I have a nice hot toddy and some dessert and watch Wheel and Jeopardy. It is after 10:30 before we go to bed. Molli has done all the dishes. Amelia is going to bed too after her long day. She has brought us two cartons of glasses, about a dozen each, that were rejected by the shoot. They broke one of mine, so gave me all the rejects...the next day I clear out some cupboards to make room for all the glasses.

I am still stuffy and sneezing, and woke up a lot during the night. The medicine helps me sleep, but makes me really thirsty. I feel this morning, though, that I am not getting any sicker, but have crossed some imaginary line and am now getting better.

Yesterday was the day we picked up Molli and Adrian in Atlanta! Ray and Amelia slept pretty late, so there was time for breakfast and a quick walk (for me), a bath and getting dressed before we left the house. 10:30 was the target, but it was closer to 11. As we got underway, Amelia realized she needed to return Kevin's car to his house, so we turned around and went back to get it. Traffic was pretty heavy, but we were waiting at the top of the escalator when they arrived (even though they landed about 10 minutes early). Molli appears to have the incredibly good travel luck that some people have. This was a Delta flight. She also has the ability to sleep on planes, amazingly.

Profiteroles

Flourless chocolate cake

We had reserved for a meal at Bistro Niko, now a tradition for us. I had been hesitant, hating to spend the money when I was too sick to enjoy it. I even contemplated staying home while Ray and Amelia went to pick them up. But, I really loved it, as did everyone else. I had a sidecar, a yummy cocktail that was good for my cold. I ordered French onion soup, something I used to love, but haven't had in years because it has been known to disagree with me. This one did not. Incredible gobs of cheese atop luscious beef broth teeming with onions and flavor. It was worth taking a chance on. Others had the butternut squash soup that we have loved before. I had scallops that were excellent, a little crusty edge from sauteeing, on a bed of creamy mashed potatoes, with little bits of leek. Adrian ate three of them; he said he had never had them before. He had the duck--two legs--and love it too. Amelia  had a ratatouille sandwich that was amazing as well. And desserts--creme brulee for me, ice cream for Ray, chocolate cake (out of this world) for Adrian, and profiteroles for Molli and Amelia. A flawless meal. My idea of heaven would be to eat there once a week. Is it possib;e I would ever get blase? The service is excellent, needless to say.

The plan was to go to the High Museum of Art of the Fernbank Museum of Natural Hitory, or Stone Mountain Park. But Molli and Adrian both fell asleep almost instantly when they got in the car, and slept all the way home, in spite of some traffic delays, so the only place we  stopped was at Karen's, to feed the pigs, just about sunset (5;30). We were home about 5 minutes before my Dad arrived (alerted by phone). He was feeling a little sad and was glad to see everyone. We pulled out pictures from my wedding, but he didn't want to look at them much. We were particularly looking at the dress I wore and then Bonney wore, since Amelia has started working on Molli's dress. Adrian is not allowed to see it, of course, but if it's still in pieces, does that count? We talked some about menu as well.

Captain left, Ray went to bed, the young people went to the O'Rileys', and I went to bed. It might have been 9 o'clock. Thanks, Nyquil. I was awake a few times, but finally got up a little before 5, not surprisingly.

Sorry, I guess I didn't post yesterday. Between the cold and Amelia arriving...

I invited people to come help me bake. Sky and her Mom are the only ones who took me up on it. They got there a little after 10. I had vacuumed and bathed and gotten out some ingredients and equipment. It was quite fun. They did most of the work under my direction, but they said it didn't seem like a lot of work. And they talked the whole time. We made muffins (with blueberries); their request. We made banana bread. I had two bananas that needed to be turned into bread. We made ginger cookies that you can freeze as balls and bake when you need them. I wasn't feeling very sick and I didn't get super close to them. They are not usually the huggy kind. Or maybe our relationship is not hte huggy kind. I would love to do more cooking like that.

After lunch, I went to get my Dad (in my new car) and took him to Avid Bookshop. He enjoyed it. Janet helped us pick out books for most of the people on his list. It was a successful trip and I took him home again.

Back at the house, it was time to put the chickens up and feed the pigs. We ate some chicken curry Ray got from the freezer and heated up with rice. It was great. When I know Amelia is coming, I often plan a meal with some meat in it for us to eat since we won't be eating much in the time she's here. We don't really miss it; I just try to get in lots of protein to keep me from becoming diabetic.

We watched a little TV and I went to bed. There was no chance I would be able to stay awake until Amelia got there (which turned out to be about 11), so I tried to get some sleep. I did wear the mask for a little while, but it occurred to me that I was supposed to wash it some and it might not be good for me to keep breathing through the same germy mask. I woke up at 3 or so and went in the other room to read for a while, but eventually got back to sleep and woke up at 6:30.

Definitely have a full-fledged cold--coughing, sneezing, stuffy head, sore throat...Amelia spent most of the time sewing. She wants to be able to do things when Molli and Adrian are here (other than sewing). The question is where can she do it. Plenty of room yesterday in the downstairs bedroom, but we will move her out this morning before Adrian and Molli get here. She would like to sleep in there and leave the sewing spread out, but the cat's litter box has to go somewhere--I don't think Molli and Adrian should have to share a bathroom with the cat, as well as Amelia. And don't want the litter box in the downstairs bathroom, for when company comes. However, I may relent and let her sleep there. I am certainly not the one to tell someone they have to stop in the middle of a project. Stay tuned.

I was able to function pretty well in the morning, although mostly by hanging around on the couch, not cooking and baking. Ray and I took a walk (with Cameron, of course). It was warm and sunny, almost hot. He split some wood. I tried not to keep Amelia from working on her sewing. My Dad called. He wanted to come tell us all about his peformance as Father Christmas the night before. I said I would feed him, but didn't have much to offer. He stopped and got pizza and potato soup for us from Transmetropolitan. My Mom loved that soup! It is all full of heavy cream, I'm sure. So good. It was a pretty late lunch and I was feeling pretty sick by the time he left. Couldn't quite figure out what to make for Amelia for supper, but got started on something while Ray fed the pigs. He did most of the cooking for me and Amelia worked on her sewing. The cat has the run of the house, so we don't let poor Cameron in like we have done sometimes.

Supper was delicious and then it was late enough for me to have another hot toddy. MMM. It sure is good for a cold. Watched some TV. Went to bed and read. Sipped on Robitussin all day and took a Tylenol cold tablet at night. Woke up at some point coughing and took some Nyquil. That knocked me out thoroughly until about 6:30 this morning, a prefectly reasonable time to get up in my book.

Darn! I knew it! I have the cold. Is it Ray's or the Captain's? Maybe they have the same one. In spite of taking extra vitamin C and sleeping in a different room the last three nights, I have a stuffy nose and scratchy throat this morning. The excitement of the last few days and the lack of sleep may be factors.

Yesterday's excitement was minimal. It involved making cookie bars to take to potluck and cookies to take to Ray's departmental holiday luncheon. This meant driving to the closest convenience store/gas station about 5 miles away to buy eggs: $2 is not bad, but it was for 8 eggs! I never saw an 8-egg carton before! We made the famous oatmeal-raisin cookies and got dressed and drove to my Dad's house to leave the car. We took the bus to the department and got there a little late. There was ham and turkey and bread and lots of dessert, but nothing green to be seen. There was also moonshine that a former office manager's husband brought. He doesn't make it, he buys it--$140/case. If you like powerful, clear alcohol, it was pretty good. Looks like water in the jar.

We took the bus back to the car and Ray drove me to the Athens Land Trust, where I went with Heather to see two houses under construction. They were designed by her uncle for housing in the 50s--very simple, with back-to-back plumbing, but still nice--wood floors. One is bright blue, a color picked by the homeowner. Very exciting to see in progress. The IKEA cabinets were giving the installer fits. The contractor suggested that for the same amount of money, you could get better quality custom cabinets, made of solid wood. It was fun; I have always enjoyed Heather's company and I think the feeling is mutual. But, no talk of future employment...

Ray got his hair cut and picked me up again and we went home. He went to bed. I wasn't happy with the cookie bars I made, they didn't cut into squares, but broke into uneven chunks and are hard. Maybe over-cooked, but also possibly a crappy recipe. My Dad was there for a bit. He is slowly recovering and looking forward to being Father Christmas tonight and tomorrow. He keeps wanting to know if I'll be there and I keep saying no. It's a $50 donation to charity to go, even if there were still seats. We talked some about Christmas shopping and I am supposed to take him this afternoon. He had some good ideas, so it shouldn't be too unpleasant, if he's up to it. He dropped me off at the pigs and I walked back after feeding them. An incredibly lovely warm day.

Ray was still in bed, so I decided not to go to potluck. This was supported by the realization that I had forgotten to go to EarthFare while I was in town and had promised organic eggs for a baking party today. Then I quickly found I had lost my phone in my Dad's car, between here and the pigs. A call to him confirmed it. As I was getting ready to eat something and go, Ray got up. He made himself something and I ate leftover pasta with cauliflower. I think now we are out of leftovers and I am not going to feel much like cooking...darn! Except that there are plenty of sweet treats around...

I was excited about driving the new car, but actually quite nervous once I got going, to drive for the first time in the dark. It was pretty fun. I drove to my Dad's and then Earth Fare. I was about 10 minutes late to choir...and I got lost--I ended up in Oconee County somehow, and had to turn around. No GPS! OK, 15 minutes late...we have a solstice service in a week and were going over some of the complicated arrangements Amber has made for singing some of the songs in the back of the sanctuary, holding lit candles. The choir generally groans and is resistant, but everything always turns out well. I am part of a small group singing a different part on one of the songs. It went pretty well.

When I got home, Ray was again asleep in bed. I watched a couple shows and went to my little room with my book, but I didn't even open it. I put on my mask and soon fell asleep. It was after 10. Around midnight, I woke up suddenly and couldn't breathe and tore the mask off and went back to sleep. Perhaps it was because of this cold. I don't know how I can use the machine with a stuffed-up nose...I should call them, but I will probably muddle along or not use it for awhile.

What's happening at the "farm?"

The Prius is dead! Long live the Prius! Faithful Betty, a big part of our lives for almost 10 years, is gone. Our new Prius is white (not my favorite choice) and has a bluetooth connection, which is very exciting, as soon as I figure out how to make it work. We spent a lot of time yesterday at the dealership, but it is still amazing to me that we can walk away with a "new" car, no money actually having changed hands.

Daisy thinks the camera might be good to eat.

Ray was still pretty sick, but excited about looking at cars. I took a quick walk out to the mailbox with Cameron. (no eggs) We were at the dealership by 10:30 or so. There were three 2010 Priuses for sale (red, white, silver). There were all about the same price and all looked the same with the same features. One had leather seats and this was the only one that integrates with your phone. We got them to go down a little on the price and then started the slow process. Poor Ray cleaned out the old car.

baby goat Shanny

I had an OLLI Lunch and Learn to go to. I didn't know anyone at my table and ate a perfectly acceptable lunch, followed by a one-hour talk by Lief Carter about re-writing the constiation and why our system isn't working and what we can do about it. Clearly, it isn't going to change itself. Something has to be done from outside. How is a big question. I was thinking "revolution," but didn't say it. Everything will keep getting worse until it's really bad and then what? A dictator? Interesting stuff, but the timing was bad. I wanted to be at the car dealership.

There are the beauties! They're getting bigger!

I don't know why Brodie likes being on top of this new dirt pile.

I called Ray and met him there. He had driven the new car home and had some lunch. He had arranged for financing through the dealer, but I called Robins and they confirmed what we had to do. The financial guy at the dealership was not happy. "Do you want to save money?" he said. "Or give them your business?" "I want to give them my business," I said. "I am active in the Occupy Movement and I want the credit union to have my money." He turned away, I guess to change all his paperwork. Maria was our salesman, a somewhat strange woman who drives here from northeast Georgia every day, 45 minutes or so, but is one of the top sellers in Georgia. She's not much younger than me and somewhat hard to understand. But she knows her stuff and seems trustworthy, so I guess that is how she sells cars. Thanks to Robins, we do not have to start paying until March--and then it will be less than $300 a  month--for 6 years. Hopefully, the car will last that long. And maybe we can pay it off earlier, if I can get work. Ray had to go to get the title for the old car. They gave us $1600 for it, a lot less than we  might have gotten before the battery was going probably, but a lot better than nothing for a car with 183,000 miles on it.

Back at our house, our chickens

The new car is the kind you don't actually put the key in the ignition. If you have it in your pocket, you can push a button to start it. It has a hatchback, good for Cameron to ride in for one thing. The back seats fold down for really big items. And the mileage will be lots better.

I went by Publix and got some fish for our supper, not wanting to take the time to go back to town. I got some more flour and butter too, but I couldn't bring myself to buy eggs. Unfortunately, Ray promised cookies for his department's holiday lunch today.

My Dad was at the house and duly admired the new car. It was a beautfiul day, warm and sunny, although I was not home much to appreciate it. I made supper, fed the pigs, put the chickens up (no eggs), and we closed the shades down for the night. We resisted the tempation to go for a drive after supper, just for fun. Ray was starting to fade and we watched a few shows before he went to bed.

I was sure I was getting "the cold," although I feel pretty good this morning. I slept again in the little room (avoiding Ray's germs?), reading until I was sleepy and then putting my mask on for part of the night. I guess eventually I will stop taking it off and sleep with it all night. Hard to say if I slept better, but I am happy and excited this morning. Could be the new car, could be the holiday and the company coming.

I have heard that there is a Chinese curse, "may you live in interesting times," which we certainly do. Yesterday, I am sorry to say, was interesting. Not all bad, not boring, but definitely interesting. Ray was still feeling pretty sick, but had to go in and meet with a student who had questions. I also had plans. We had a brief walk and I managed to come up with a recipe for supper. I was feeling cheerful in the morning and in the Christmas mood, wearing my red turtleneck dress and green hat and light green pea coat. My children are coming, it is time to plan holiday (and wedding) events.

I took him to his office (when I say this, what I usually mean is, he drove himself to his office and then I took the car). Then I headed to Siri Thai, for lunch with my friend Michael, Executive Director of The Stable Foundation. He is a lot of years younger than I am and has a master's in public administration, but I don't think I am wrong to call us friends. TSF used to rent space from ALT and I have been in various meetings with him over the last few years. I knew that he wanted to talk to me some about fund-raising for TSF, which I had talked to him about once before and I thought he wanted me to do volunteer case management. I wasn't sure what I was going to say. But he actually suggested he might hire me sometime in the next month for a part-time temporary case management position, connected to a grant they received some time ago but are only now receiving and must use up before July 1. I must say I was very excited and enthusiastic to imagine working again. It has been so long, and I have tried so hard to make my accommodation to not working, that I wonder if I will find it difficult. I don't know how much it will pay and suspect my hours will be less than ideal (evenings and weekends?). Not to mention that it has been several years since I did case management (at IHN, while also being director). However, it made me kind of giddy.

My next stop was to pick up Jean at 1:15 for her appointment at the oncologist. This is when the day began to get really "interesting." The light on my dashboard--the Prius has lots of electronic symbols--with the red exclamation point came on and I felt some hesitation in the way it drove. I called Ray, I called Mary Jean and got her to pick up Jean, not wanting her to be in the car when it died. I drove to the dealership and left the car with them. I had their shuttle take me to the doctor's appointment. Meanwhile, my Dad picked Ray up and brought him to our house to get the truck and he met me there.

The doctor was the sleep doctor, Dr. Das, who introduced me to my new CPAP machine (actually his staff did most of the work). He told me I stopped breathing 79 times per minute! This is sort of ridiculous, because I am sure I don't breathe that many times a minute. Either I misunderstood him or he misspoke. In any case, it is a lot of times. I have been rather leery of this whole process. I feel like this might be questionable medicine, one of those fads that come and go. However, our Blue Cross HMO is paying for it--I only have to pay $15 every time I go to the doctor. I began using it last night--more later. As we left there, I called the dealership and left a message--$79 diagnostic fee regardless, but they were to call with the details of what needed repairing and how much it would cost.

Back home, gray and in the 40s. No eggs. I proceeded with supper. The Toyota dealer finally called. The hybrid battery was going; it would be $2963 to replace it...plus $1300 for a new catalytic converter. No telling how long it would hold up. After driving it that day, I didn't feel like we could even bring it home. It might go at any moment. I asked if it could be driven as a gasoline-powered car. "No, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way." Of course not. I had known this was a possibility. The car has over 180,000 miles on it and is almost 10 years old, one of the best and least expensive to maintain we've ever had. But now, really, when we were just scraping by with my not working? It seemed terribly unfair and I am actually grieving for our car that has been so much a part of our lives.

However, we went right to the website to look at used Priuses (Prii?). There are three at our dealership, all 2010s, all around $20,000. A lot for a used car, but I can't really imagine buying anything else. Thank goodness for the glimmer of hope that I might actually become employed within a month. There are also two jobs worth applying for in Sunday's paper. One, I applied for on line immediately, and the other I will do so today. Although the odds are long. I also called the credit union I recently joined, Robins, and applied for a car loan over the phone. She talked to Ray, as well, and we are pre-approved for up to $25,000! Our credit scores are both A+ and they will give us a fairly low interest rate, less than 3.5%. In addition, we can opt to defer repayment for 90 days. If we stretch payments out over 6 years, it will be less than $400 a month. Surely I can find something that will pay me that much in the next 3 months! So, an interesting day for sure. We have an appointment to test drive at 10 this morning.

Ray tried not to go to bed, but let me feed the pigs by myself. I had no scraps or leftovers for them, but the walk there and back mostly restored my good mood. He was somewhat better than the day before.  We finished preparing and ate our supper, the last featuring peppers until next year. I have four smallish old green peppers left and will use them as the need arises, but I will no longer search out recipes that use vast quantities of them. And, in fact, there is nothing in the garden now I feel obliged to plan around. There is a lot of dill, but it volunteered, so I don't feel like I have to use it unless I come across something that calls for it.

Ray managed to stay awake through Wheel and Jeopardy. (He is always hoping we will somehow catch up on our backlog of recorded shows--I refuse to watch more than one episode on the same day, so it hasn't worked yet). Now the day got even more interesting. Perhaps from all that had happened, I was pretty charged up and not ready to sleep. I watched two more shows and puttered around a bit before going to bed and starting a new book. It turned out to be quite engrossing and the light was bothering Ray, so I moved into the other room.

hooks up to a machine that blows air into my nose

This is perhaps more information than you want, but this is how things work sometimes. I would normally sleep in the red room in this situation, but I had stripped the bed when Amelia left after Thanksgiving and had not yet made it up. But I didn't want to put fresh sheets on and then sleep in them right before Molli and Adrian arrive on Saturday. So I slept in the little "bamboo" room, or sewing room. It was piled with stuff, including quilts and blankets on the single bed, but I eventually made myself a kind of comfortable nest in there. I liked this room, and I could see out the door and big windows, where the moon was shining. I brought my book and my glasses and my drinking water--and my CPAP machine. I have slept without it all this time and it seemed sort of silly to feel like I had to start now, this very night, but it didn't seem to make sense to put it off, just because I was in a different room and already having trouble sleeping. I read a while and began to doze. I got up and turned off the light and managed to get the thing on, but was no longer at all sleepy. What with the car and the job possibility, and the different bed and the interesting book, I gave up and took off the mask and turned on the light and read some more. I went through the same process again an hour or so later, including an attempt to fall asleep without the machine as well. Eventually, I gave up and finished the d**n book, slept some with the machine on and some with it off. I really don't know how much. It was 7 when the brightening sky woke me. I love my open house with all the windows, but not a good place for me to sleep in.

One of the strange things about the machine is that they ask me over and over if I am tired and fall asleep during the day, or wake up feeling like I have slept badly. I always say no. I usually sleep a good bit less than most people I know and don't feel tired or sleepy until I sit down in front of the TV at night. So, the promise of a better night's sleep is intriguing to me. At this point, I don't know how much I slept or how much of it was with the machine and I can't say I am better rested than usual. But we will see. Perhaps I will start sleeping only 4 hours a night or so!