Adventures in Beverly

Our new home

I kind of don't know where to start. So much has happened in my life in the last 9 months! Last Wednesday, we closed on this house in Beverly, Massachusetts. I went to work Thursday and Friday, while making lots of arrangements by phone and packing things in the apartment after work. Good thing I only work 30 hours a week!

Friday afternoon, my father arrived from Athens. There is an apartment for him in this wonderful house. Molli's husband, Adrian, and his sister, Tamara, also arrived about the same time, from Mexico.

moving out of the apartment in Cambridge

Molli went to pick them up at the airport while I finalized some dinner preparations and continued packing. I went to bed early, but only managed about 4 hours sleep. I am hoping soon I will be able to sleep again.

Yesterday morning, I continued packing things up. Molli and Adrian picked up the U-Haul. Tamara and my Dad helped me, sealing packages, for instance. In a few hours, we had everything on the truck and had a lunch break. By 3, we were in Beverly. The house is still amazing, but where will we put everything?

Molli and Adrian did most of the heavy lifting

They carried things in and I told them where they went. Tamara offered to hook up the internet when I started looking at the directions. "I'm kind of good at this," she said. I humored her. "Let's go," said Molli. They had to drive back to Cambridge and return the truck. They were leaving early this morning to fly to Georgia and drive my Dad's car up, by way of a brief visit to Washington, D.C.

They left, offering to take me back with them, where I could sleep on the couch. "No, thanks," I said, "I don't mind staying here alone."

The temperature in Beverly was a little cooler than Cambridge, and quite a bit cooler than Georgia. It was still over 80 though. I had an old window air conditioner (thank you, cousin Dinda) that I hooked up in the bedroom. It seemed to work pretty well. I spent time going to all the windows and seeing which ones had screens and could be opened. I closed the ones in my bedroom and on the sunny sides, but opened some of the others. There was a nice sea breeze for sure, but I was pretty sweaty.

First, I checked the internet. Amazingly, it worked! Without looking at the directions, in about 10 minutes, Tamara had opened the modem, router, etc., plugged them in, and gotten them working. Amazing! I haven't tried the TV yet...

Then, I decided I should think about eating something. There are restaurants and convenience stores nearby, but I was exhausted (even though I didn't do most of the work). The stairs are one of the great features of the house, but after going up and down them 20 times or so, they hold less appeal. The idea of walking anywhere, even 2 blocks, was overwhelming. Besides, I wanted to savor my time in my new home.

Looking through the box of canned goods, I decided to have some tuna with the last of a box of wheat thins. Then, I had to find the can opener. (Somewhere, I have a list of the things I was supposed to pack separately, in an "open me first" box...that didn't happen!). No mayo, the tuna was a little dry. I opened a can of stewed tomatoes to provide a vegetable. I sure wished I had some ice cream!! Again, not willing to walk even a step...new idea for a business: ice cream delivery service?

Next, making the bed...although it occurred to me, I could probably just lie down on the mattress in my clothes and be asleep in minutes. I probably wouldn't even be the first person to do that in this situation.

As the sun went down, so did the temperature. When it got to 72 or so, I turned off the AC and opened all the windows. I wish I could tell you it was amazingly comfortable, but it was very humid. It rained in the night. I was sweaty and wanted to take a bath in my "new" tub. Should I do a load of laundry and wash the dirty sheets to make up the bed? or sleep on them dirty? Fortunately, I found a box of clean sheets, so could make up the bed and take a bath and sleep in clean sheets. View of the harbor from my bed!! I talked to Ray and Amelia and eventually went to sleep, waking several times and seeing the lights in the harbor. Once I even prowled the house, picking up the last few crackers and eating them before going back to sleep. Eventually, though, I got more than 7 hours of sleep, the most I've had in a couple weeks!

I couldn't magic up anything for breakfast, except canned beans, but no more crackers. I decided to go out to breakfast and found a place very close by that was supposed to open at 6. I managed to find clothes and shoes to wear, and even a raincoat. Unfortunately, the Anchor was not open, although there seemed to be preparation going on inside. I could not find any posted hours, but I suspect they open later than 6 on Sundays...

I walked to the closest convenience store, Tedeschi's, and bought a yogurt and a loaf of bread, as well as potato chips and cookies for later today. I couldn't find a pot to boil water near the top of any boxes, but found tea bags and a cup. My Dad's apartment (upstairs) has a built-in microwave, so I heated my water there.

Next? Take the commuter train to Boston and the T to Cambridge, arriving in about 90 minutes. Finish packing and cleaning my apartment (with Tamara's paid assistance) and load the things in Molli's car. Drive back to Beverly with my Dad and Tamara. The movers should be here this afternoon, with everything we need. I'd like to hear from them this morning, because if my Dad's bed cannot be set up by tonight, they should stay in Cambridge.

Leaving here about 9 to walk half a mile to the train.

Keeping score

sign of spring: hostas?

I've walked 5 1/2 miles so far today. That's one way I keep score. Yay for me! In my head, there are pluses and minuses. I bet everyone keeps score, but I wonder what it will look like if I write it down. I have a FitBit (gift from my spouse) to keep track of how much I walk, but there are lots of other things I keep in my head.

Today is Mother's Day. I have two children and they both remembered me today. They seem genuinely fond of me and glad to have me for their Mom, so that goes in the plus column for sure.

I walked today for Peace. It was somewhat hard for me, not a natural athlete, but nothing that will scar me for life. Many of the people walking had lost someone to violence. I know people who have been killed needlessly, but they were not close family members. My mother is gone now and I miss her, but she died peacefully at age 83. How would I feel if someone had killed her, in a grocery store parking lot, for money, when I was young? It's hard to imagine. One young man was killed on his way to a meeting about reducing violence. It's hard to believe in God after that, depending on your idea of God.

I did not go to church today and did not sing in choir. So that is a minus, although I don't know if walking for peace cancels that out.

Things I am planning to do probably don't count. I am starting to make a couple loaves of bread...a yummy treat, but also a good thing. Not using commercial products, right?

How about things I didn't do (yet)? If I was going to clean my apartment this weekend (not a huge task), but didn't, is that a minus? Or a potential plus?

I think of myself as a good person, but I know there are "better" and "worse" people. I'm not sure you can even compare. There are lots of "worse" people environmentally speaking, but some of them are busy with several jobs and children, not believing they have time. Does that make them worse than me? Some things are easier for me than other people. For instance, I like to bake, so making bread is not really hard. Should that count the same for me as for someone to whom it is a challenge?

Molli and I bought local (expensive) produce, cheese, and fish at the Public Market in Boston. Does that make me a good person? I would add another plus, and I think it is tastier and better for me. But I could buy the cheapest, live more cheaply, and give the difference to people who have less than me.

My husband (bless his heart, as they say in the South) is busily clearing the rest of our possessions, accumulated over almost 40 years of marriage, from our beloved home in Georgia. He is pretty much down to the trash, several truckloads. Unfortunately, the dump is not open today, Sunday. Fortunately, several of our many dear friends are helping him right now. Everything left in the basement (I think that's the only place) will be moved to the garage. I have felt awful that I am not there helping, although I did some last weekend. Thanks to the magic of the internet, I found and called a service called Junk South, which will be there with a big truck tomorrow morning. They will load it all on and take it away...for a small fee, which is well worth it! So, I helped. Another plus? A couple other women will be trying to put away our things in his kitchen and bathroom, so that he will finally be able to sleep in his new home tonight...or tomorrow. He is in a tizzy, not able to find anything and not knowing where it will all go. We got rid of tons of things and another friend is keeping a lot in her basement, but there is still more than he can fit in his little 2 bedroom rental. I am sure he will be months digging out. We paid movers and cleaners and still there is more to do. Take heed, all of you, and start now to downsize, simplify and get rid of what you don't need.

 

What next?

Second day of not working...I am not enjoying it much. Sent off 8 emails yesterday in response to jobs I might like. Sent a couple this morning. I got a call from a placement agency in Boston and will go talk to them this afternoon. The jobs I like most are on Idealist.com. Some are really intriguing, but I won't be applying...Executive Director of Our Bodies, Ourselves? awesome, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to work that hard...just more than I am now.

OLE cut my hours; not surprising, they have no money, as I would know, being Bookkeeper. I thought I would be substitute teaching in Somerville, but they didn't call me yesterday or today. This could be a good chance to find something else...but sitting at the computer for most of every day is really hard on me. I did get a walk in yesterday, and made dinner, and played Spider. I also filled my apartment with smoke by walking while the pork roast was in the oven. I came back to a beeping smoke alarm and opened the door and windows and ran the fans. I have put off cleaning the pan. The meat was overdone, but edible.

Massachusetts Council on Compulsive Gambling
Mothers Out Front
CYCLE Kids
The Democracy Center
Abraham Path Initiative

Places that are hiring, plus MIT, Harvard and much more.

Sunday afternoon

I slept well and woke up a little late...light was coming in around the shades. I tidied up a bit as I was waking up, since I had gone straight to bed last night when I got back from Molli's. Tamara spent most of the afternoon and evening with the Rainbow Girls and Molli and I had dinner together and lazed around a bit. I had a bite of the oreo cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory that they had brought home Friday, and it was delicious.

Molli is celebrating somewhat, since she has finished her last classes and exams. Starting tomorrow, she will be working at Chin & Curtis for her last internship...and getting paid about enough to cover her costs...so not going any further into debt. She's pretty pleased, and so am I.

I spent a little time on the computer and made my regular Sunday morning breakfast, whole wheat pancakes with blueberries. Then I got ready to sing with First Parish UU Church...the building dates from 1833, but the congregation is almost 200 years older than that. It's nice to just sit and look at, especially on a sunny morning, so I went about 15 minutes early. It's my chance to start getting to know some new people, a little bit strange for someone my age, but very fun and good for me. I also never know when someone will connect me to the perfect job.

Afterwards, I walked home to Molli's. They had come and gotten the rest of the pancake batter and eaten it up. Getting to a 10:30 service is uncommon for them, and a little stressful. I ate some leftover ground beef in a tortilla with lettuce and avocado and salsa, a satisfactory lunch. They headed out to the symphony, thanks to some free tickets they had been given. I went back to my place and started a batch of bread. The sun was coming in the windows and the apartment was calm and pleasant.

I like the quiet of being alone, as long as it's punctuated by contact with other people. I can hear the cars go by, and sometimes sirens, but no recognizable speech. I have a big old TV, but no cable or satellite service. I watch DVDs. Recently, I had Jane Fonda's companionship for a while. I listened to her yoga video, sometimes just as a soothing background, although usually I did the exercises. Sometimes I watch old movies, Humphrey Bogart rescuing Lauren Bacall and then letting her walk away...or Bette Davis falling in love with the boss's son. Nothing too serious or intense.

I read lots of books, mostly after 9 at night. Sometimes I fall right asleep and sometimes I'm engrossed for hours. I generally wake up by 5:30 either way.

I know I am loved and have lots of conversations with my husband. I talk to friends and other relatives, too, on the phone or computer.

I know I am being useful and try to enjoy my time here for what it is, maybe a little space to be me on my own.

Monday was a snow day. I was a little down...hadn't been back to work since I went home for a few days the week before. There was an awesome-sounding job posted and I had applied for it and got a quick response: the job has been filled. I was very disappointed. Applied for another one, but it doesn't sound quite as great. Haven't heard anything yet. My current job is sort of unstable...I have gotten mixed messages about how many hours they want me to work. It seems like I can probably get something better in this area, and I'm excited about it. I'm in limbo on so many fronts. I would love to have a good steady job/income and turn my attention to other things.

Tamara was scheduled for her green card interview. Even though all the schools were closed, Molli thought she would have heard if it had been cancelled. They dressed carefully and headed over there nice and early, only to find that all government offices were also closed. That was a bummer...no idea how long it will be before she can get another one.

I asked my boss/coworker if there was a snow day policy...but didn't hear back right away. Maybe he was asleep. I was at the bus stop, having just missed my bus, when I heard back from him. No policy that he knows of, but he wasn't going in and didn't see any reason I should.

Another Saturday morning, with very little on my plate. I am staying in Molli's apartment while she is away, competing in the mock trial Regionals in Connecticut. Her ward and sister-in-law, Tamara, is 16 and moved to this country from Mexico less than a year ago. I will cook for her and myself and we will keep each other company this weekend. The challenge is that she is recovering from a kidney infection, with the help of antibiotics, and eating very little other than saltine crackers. A week ago, she vomited all weekend, something she had never previously experienced. She has been to the emergency room twice and still has some lower back pain.

She and I get along quite well: she reserves her teenage behavior for Molli, who stands in for her mother now. We enjoy watching Jane the Virgin, which is a very fun TV series, a little like a parody of a "telenovela" or soap opera. It is funny and touching, with close family relationships and a heroine who is saving herself for marriage to her wonderful boyfriend. Her grandmother speaks only Spanish (with subtitles), so you could say it is educational!

Although it snowed yesterday, it is not very cold out and is starting to melt. One of the advantages of apartments, usually, is they are warmer and easier to heat than freestanding houses. This one is particularly comfortable, because the heat is included in the rent and so it can be turned up freely. It's more likely to be too warm for me than too cold. My apartment, on the other hand, does not include the cost of electricity in the rent. I got my first bill, for $180, for less than a month! This is for two rooms...and I keep it turned down most of the time. I was really shocked. I have now turned it off, at least while I'm staying here. I can function just fine with sweaters and blankets. I hope the heating season will not be too much longer!

I am comfortable in Molli's apartment, having spent many weeks here this fall, cooking for them and making myself at home. I still prefer my own place. It has everything I want in it and nothing I don't...pretty much. Although no one could call me a neat freak, I am trying to only have the things I need, and everything in its place, a la Marie Kondo, sort of. I do like her way of folding clothes and lining them up in my drawers so I can see what my options are, and I love her philosophy of cherishing things and being grateful for them.

The other thing that is not perfect about Molli's place is the presence of her husband's absence. It pains me to be reminded of him and how is not here for her or Tamara. I miss him from my life too, or at least my fantasy of what my life might have been like.

Other things that make this day more stressful than it should be: the absence of my husband and the fact that our house is not yet ready to be sold. If the house should sell for a good price, we would be very happy and able to move ahead with our plans for the next phase of our lives. Sigh. I am here and I should be there...maybe. When I am there, I am quite productive in working on throwing things away...but there is so much and the work is so slow!

Okay, the biggest thing bothering me: my job. When I was offered this great job with this great international nonprofit, I was thrilled. "See," I said, "it is easier here. I am appreciated in this area and can get work easily!" Not so fast. The man who offered me the job is now saying I am working too many hours...the grants have not come through as he had hoped and he cannot afford me. I do the books, so I know that is true, sort of. I also know what other things he spends money on, and my salary is a pretty small part of it. Nonetheless, he has the right...I am just not sure if I misunderstood him, he has changed his mind, or his memory is perhaps at fault, or I have not worked out as he hoped.

I will be okay, I will find other work, I will muddle along. But I would not have signed a one-year lease on an apartment without being sure I could cover the rent. I almost did last month, but the flights back and forth, the cost of commuting to work, and now the electric bill, are being subsidized by Ray's generosity. This month looks even worse...at the moment. It is possible I could get an awesome new job that would more than cover my expenses. I have applied for several.

But for today, do the laundry, go to the market, cook food...and be glad you can!

The hissing tires on the snowy street outside
and the noises of the warming radiator
ought, combined, to calm me and content me.

Instead I wish for happy company
and some obliging soul to wait on me,
yet will not leave my home and seek them out.

My task for the day accomplished:
I rode the city's buses through the storm
taking the child to her appointment

in an old but beautifully renewed building
staffed by friendly lively people
in a distant part of town.

There was once a pharmacy nearby,
perhaps a hundred years ago or so,
that was owned by my mother's grandfather.

She went to visit him from time to time;
and talked about the treat of ice cream there.
I looked out the window for it in the snow.

The child is asleep now, the work is done.
And yet I feel I must do something.
It is time to take up my knitting.