Another 30-minute walk yesterday morning, but it was harder for me at the end. Maybe I can't do it two days in a row.

We sang for the service and enjoyed it. The topic was letting go...good choice. Turns out Alison moved a lot of stuff from Virginia that some might think was not strictly necessary, requiring them to buy a bigger house than they might have otherwise.

It was fourth Sunday, so we stayed for a $5 lunch, also a pleasure. Ray got someone else to take him home, while I helped clean up, because I had to be at the rehearsal for Dancing with the Athens Stars at 2. That was fun, too. Joan pointed out that this is the fourth year I have been in the sound booth, making me feel seasoned. The show is next weekend and I'm looking forward to it.

Back home, I went right at the daffodils, but I had to stop and ask Ray to help. My back was starting to hurt and I really didn't want to be incapacitated. He helped with supper, too, and I baked some more cookies. The house still smells good.

We watched some of the Academy Awards and went to bed before 10.

Yesterday morning, I baked the strata and took it to UUFA for the new member breakfast. It was delicious, but incredibly unhealthy. http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=1505256 white bread, half & half, eggs... I stayed for breakfast, so also ate one of Myrna's biscuits and other unhealthy items. There was a woman joining UUFA who I knew 20+ years ago in Mothers' Center--Barbara Teskey (son Joseph Molli's age). It was pretty fun.

I was home by 9:30 and Ray and I headed to pilates, which was excellent as usual. There was only one other person. On our way home, the Captain called to see if we wanted them to pick up something for lunch, like Chinese. I said, no, we had leftover breakfast casserole and homemade bread (I didn't say I had pizza Thursday night and Mexican last night, so I need to eat a little healthier). They arrived shortly after we did. He spent a little time on his computer; I made cookies (hermits, excellent). We all had lunch and then I planted some more of the daffodils. I am more than halfway through and may be able to finish today.

About 3:30, we drove to the Gwinnett Arena to see the circus. The Captain especially wanted to go, but we were all looking forward to it. Unfortunately, the cheap tickets were all gone. We could have bought them ahead of time, but TicketMaster charges over $8 in fees and we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. Or to pay $65 for good seats. So, we drove to Atlanta and had a wonderful dinner at Bistro Nikko. If you suggested driving to Atlanta just for dinner (which would cost over $50 per person), I would say no thanks, but we had a great time. We were there about 5, but they were clearly gearing up for a big Saturday night crowd. By the time we left, all the tables were full.

Old Fashioned

We ordered pate and cocktails, with extra French bread (mmm). Ray had a big salad and shared it with me. The Captain and Vanessa ordered the prix fixe (formule), including the white bean soup. Delicious. I had the haddock special, also excellent, followed by profiteroles. And we had a $35 bottle of Vouvray. My father's logic? Not only had we saved the money from the circus, but the $8 we would have spent if we ordered the tickets from Ticket Master! Fortunately, Ray was driving and had only a little wine. The rest of us took turns dozing and talking on the way home.

Haddock

The Captain communing with the fox statues after dinner

We managed to enjoy an episode of Doc Martin and then went to bed.

Even though it was raining early in the morning, it stopped and got sunny and warm. I made the egg casserole for this morning's new UU breakfast. Except I needed a dozen eggs, so I did it up to a point, waiting for the last two eggs until about lunchtime. It's supposed to sit in the fridge overnight, so it's ready to bake now. I also made the biggest two loaves of bread I have ever made. The recipe said to make them into round loaves on a cookies sheet, but I wanted them in loaf pans. I could have made 3 instead of 2, but now I have 3 really big loaves!

My parents were here most of the day. The usual schedule is they drive here from their house in time for Vanessa to drive herself to the Y for her water exercise class. This seems foolish to me, as they drive pretty close to the Y on the way here, but it means the Captain doesn't have to stop what he's doing to go pick her up. He generally spends some time on the computer, checking email and reading news articles. Yesterday he was particularly engrossed with the story on Charlie Sheen's offensive remarks and the subsequent canceling of 2 1/2 men. My Dad suggested, and I agree, that they continue the show and write his character out--kill him off or put him in rehab...

He transplanted 75 lettuces into the garden. If all goes well, we will have more lettuce than we know what to do with--several different varieties. I am looking forward to it. Also, a few broccoli and cabbage and some bok choy. We all had lunch and then he went back out. I spent a little time washing the walls in the blue bedroom, but it was hard and not very satisfying. Instead, I went out and started planting the 100 daffodils, that Mom had placed along he driveway. It turns out the edge of the gravel driveway is actually more than a foot back from where it  looks like it is, just grown over with grass.

Boys playing Ninja at UUFA

They left a little after 3 and I did a little more work on my pile of papers before Ray came home after 5, leaving more than half of the daffodils for another day. He did dishes and neither of us wanted to make supper, so we picked up some burritos at Agua Linda, very tasty. We had offered to play games with the youth at the Fellowship, but it turned out to be less fun than I had thought. The event was not very well attended and there were already too many adults and not enough structure. There is a fine line, especially with middle school kids, between democracy and hierarchy. And this event needed a little more adult intervention, with a planned schedule of specific games. It quickly degenerated into running around hitting each other with cushions. And Ray was falling asleep. So we headed home--no TV tonight.

I had a lot of fun at the IHN luncheon.

The day was warm enough to be comfortable, but there was a smoky haze in the air that got worse as the day wen ton. I was glad I heard on the radio it was from a controlled burn down near Rock Eagle.

Ray and I walked; Cameron ran, chasing squirrels and deer. We usually end up at he Community Center, where we peer in the windows at the latest work that was done--framing the windows, yesterday. We let the chickens into their run, not wanting to let them out of their coop until they have laid the three eggs for the day.  Plus we have to get them back in again when we leave. Ray moves the seedlings out of the breezeway, so they grow up instead of leaning toward the windows, and then in again at night. (unfortunately, we forgot to bring them in last night and they are getting rained on right now--maybe that is okay)

I dropped him off about 9:30 and drove out to the country club, not an atmosphere I love, although it is very plush. Interfaith Hospitality Network had a luncheon fund-raiser that I somehow got roped into. Each host decorates a table for 10 and invites people that are willing to pay $40 each. They admire each others' tables, bid on silent auction items, and have a nice lunch with a minimal program, in this case featuring a former guest, who said how wonderful the organization was. There were 31 tables. I did not actually decorate one, or find someone to decorate. The country club did ours for us--tablecloth, flower arrangements, blue napkins. It was lovely, although not on the scale of some of the others--including balloons and a couple wore costumes to go with their theme--India (saris) and hula (leis). I enjoyed seeing lots of people I knew, who admired my long hair. In particular, I sat next to a man named Mark, who is new to Athens and new to our Fellowship. He is divorced, and one of his children is still in high school in Asheville, so he goes there every other weekend, I believe, but he came here for a job. I am sure he is lonely and he likes to talk, but I really enjoyed his company (in a totally appropriate way, of course). It seems a long time since I met anyone new that I really liked.

After lunch, I went to ALT, although I didn't get much done. I was able to talk to Heather, who told me she has, I think, 10 projects she is managing in various stages, from design to construction. She also has to interview all the people and help them get financing if they are really interested and eligible. It is clearly enough work for 2 or more people--and she seems to be a bit disorganized to make it even more difficult. She hopes I don't get the job and they can hire me, so that was kind of nice to hear.

I zipped over to Kroger to buy some groceries before going to Ray's office to pick him up. Meanwhile, my Dad called and said he was at the doctor's getting an MRI and they would be at our house when we got home, so he could tell me about it. He has a way of saying things that sounds more mysterious and momentous than they are, but he added, it's not bad, it's really good news. I waited for Ray and he finally came out and said he was going out to dinner with the speaker and would I like to come. "Well, no, I have to go home because my parents need to talk to me...and I have groceries in the car." So, this is one of the drawbacks of trying to carpool. I would have gone straight home from Kroger...and maybe gone right after the luncheon, if  he had known ahead of time that he would be going. But he didn't and usually doesn't. Some speakers (on Thursday afternoons) are trying to get to the airport or home and don't want to go out. And, rarely, he is not interested for one reason or another.

I got home; the Captain was lying on the couch; Vanessa was working on the puzzle. I asked if he wanted something to drink; he said Vanessa had made him tea--did I want a drink? I said "not right now." He said, "Have you ever had an MRI?" I thought about it and said I thought so, but not the whole body kind. He said he found it rather stressful. After I put away the groceries, my mother and I made ourselves drinks and sat down in the living room.

His knee has been bothering him, popping out very painfully. He went to a specialist, Dr. Bacastow, who told him it can probably be fixed through arthroscopic surgery, walk in walk out. It's kind of amazing to me, and to him. Assuming the MRI is consistent with what the doctor thinks is going on, there are little pieces of cartilage floating around in his knee that can be removed to fix the problem. He can schedule it whenever he wants. We talked about the garden some and their plans for next month. Then they headed out.

I called Ray, who said they were just going into the restaurant, and I drove back to town and met them for pizza. I enjoyed it, having not had pizza in several months. I recited part of Custard the Dragon to the speaker's young sons, but they were more interested in the televised basketball game. I talked some to our friend Mike, who is now chair of the department. We headed home as the group broke up, watched a little TV, and went to bed before 10.

Ray was up before me again this morning, as almost every morning these days, and it is raining steadily--a good thing. I had planned to stay home today. (If they offer me this job, I will suddenly want to do everything I have not done.) Heather said I earned it and should take advantage of it; she also said it was supposed to be beautiful, but I don't think she meant rainy. I have some cooking to do and my Dad is planning to come and transplant things. Hopefully, the wet seedlings will not be a problem.

Another nice day yesterday. I made apple crisp for potluck and baked it while we were out walking. After I dropped Ray at his building, I went to the Land Trust and did some work for them, eating my sandwich there. At 1:30 I met with Alison, the minister, about the reception for her installation in early April. I said I would organize it. The budget is $500. Whoa! I hope I can get enough people to donate food that it won't cost that much, although we will have wine and beer.

Then I headed back to Ray's office to pick him up. While I was waiting, I played Scrabble on my iPhone and read my email. When we got home, it was sunny and early enough to let the chickens out. Interesting fact: I read that they lay one hour later every day, until dusk, when they skip a day and start the morning after. Yesterday, there were only two eggs. Gladys and Mabel are on one schedule, but Sylvia is on a different one. I hope she did not go up under the porch yesterday afternoon to lay an egg. If not, there should be one early this morning and two others later in the day.

I spent my free time looking at recipes for breakfast casseroles. Sadly, Joy S. in the hospital with cancer and she and her husband won't be organizing the new UU class Saturday morning. So I said I would bring a veggie breakfast casserole. The best one I found only serves 6-8, so I might need to make two. And you prepare it the day before, which is good, but it cooks for over an hour. So I will need to be at the Fellowship with my casserole about 7:30. Or cook it the day before and serve it cold. Hmm. It also has loads of white bread in it, potatoes, eggs and cheese. I need to find one with more veggies in it, maybe.

Dinner was good, but not many people were there. I am embarrassed to report that I fell asleep in choir, dropping my music folder to the ground with a loud noise and waking myself up. We are singing a hard piece on Sunday, and I don't think we are quite ready. Dozed in the car too and went straight to bed when we got home.

You can just see the moon over the Community Center at daybreak

I spent three hours at ALT yesterday, putting things away in Heather's office. She had asked me and I had done a little bit of tidying before. And I checked with her a couple of time. "You're sure you want me to do that? Will you be able to find things?"So now I really cleaned off the top of her desk, putting papers in folders that might or might not make sense. Also one drawer had, in addition to office supplies and a few food-related items (ketchup, instant oatmeal, peanuts, napkins), about 100 old phone messages, some dated 2008. They are probably not useful any more, but I put them in a file folder for her to go through sometime (hah!) and got rid of some things, like a phone number with no name or message.

Then Becky and I had a nice lunch. The weather was good enough for eating outside.

Suzy C., who had been a candidate for state Senate (or something) in another county, was at the Fellowship a few weeks ago. She is selling bulbs and I bought 100 daffodils, partly for my mother. I have hesitated because they are not native, but deer will not eat them. She called me and we met so I could pick them up. Now I need to plant them immediately.

Then I went to the writing workshop, where I read my poem. It was very well received, although no one expressed amazement and urged me to publish it immediately. The ego is a fragile fragile thing. They were very impressed at my capability for memorizing several verses of Custard the dragon, but I don't know how to turn that into a vocation. Maybe I should go on Jeopardy--that terrifies me. What if they have baseball as a category? Or Ancient Greece? Wheel of Fortune, maybe, but that isn't about memory.

There were some brilliant poems that I was jealous of that painted wonderful pictures. There is also a woman who reads her work almost every time. It is rambling, repetitive and full of pain. It is not good poetry (and she never misses a class) and she explains it in detail too. It is clearly very important to her and everyone always says positive things to her. She was very overweight and in a bad marriage. Although she has four children, she says she was never kissed after her wedding day. That just devastates me. But it makes me want to be in a different kind of writing workshop--one with constructive feedback and all good writers to learn from. This one is about healing and has been incredibly helpful, but I have a lot more to learn.

Deb and I went to the dog park afterward. She is raising another guide dog puppy (her 6th!). I have considered it and am tempted, but I don't think I really want to do the work (especially the picking up of poop). Cameron is doing very well and is a good dog and he is probably enough for us. If we want to go away for spring break (and we may not because of my work situation), we will have to put him in the kennel and that cost added to the other costs of travel might make it too expensive.

I went to Earth Fare to buy some applesauce, because I planned to make potato pancakes for supper. But it was $3.50 there and I couldn't bring myself to buy it. I picked up Ray and we went home. It was after 5:30 and my parents were there. We chatted a little and they headed out. Ray peeled the apples and we made applesauce (which was tastier than store-bought anyway). After supper, we finished watching Ghostbusters--pretty scary for kids, but more entertaining than I expected. It just happened to be on TV the night before, with a million commercials. So we watched half Monday and recorded the rest and watched it last night, skipping through the commercials. To bed before 10.

Monday morning we started the week with a little earlier schedule. Ray is supposed to have office hours every day from 9:30, in case students want to talk to him. It also avoids arriving late to class (maybe) and having things come up at the last minute to be stressful. Yesterday, we did get there about  9:30. Then I went to the post office in Add Drugs and mailed off the directory in the Priority Mail envelope Olan Mills had given me. $5.10. It didn't seem worth trying to figure out how to get the Fellowship to reimburse me, so I just paid it.

Then I went to Marguerite's house on Annes Court, near where we used to live on Milledge Heights. It was a lovely sunny day, just a bit cool for sitting outside for an extended period. We admired her yard, with an abundance of arugula and some crocus blooming. She also had a beautiful renovation done to the house (a few years ago), adding a gorgeous kitchen with skylights and opening up the rest of the house. There were 6 of us and our topic was bounty--not just physical, but mental, emotional and spiritual bounty. This follows our last topic of grace. I could see it as just another reminder to appreciate what I have. But it was really more positive and helpful than that. One of the points for me is if you do something to share your bounty, but you resent it, that's not bountiful. (maybe not literally true, but probably a good thought. It should make you feel good.) I found that I wanted to talk a lot and dominate the conversation. I had to consciously hold back and listen. I enjoyed it very much.

A little after noon, I drove to ALT and heated up my leftovers for lunch. I reviewed the HUD counseling application, typed up my notes from the OneAthens meeting last week, and the Fund-raising meeting we had Friday morning. I am starting to feel a little more at home there.

I was at Ray's office a little before 5 and he came out a few minutes later. We made supper, listening to music on Pandora, and ate it. Then I spent some time writing while he was working, before we watched a little TV and went to bed.

After Supper

Alone with my thoughts

(although Ray is nearby),

I am sitting in the dark 

writing poetry.

Like the mouse Blink in the poem,

who “strategically mouseholed”

when faced with danger, 

I think I am safe.

In the dark and the quiet,

with only the sound of a machine—

it's the fan on my hard drive. 

The dark is comfortable.

I am hiding

until the scary things 

go away.

Will it work?

Me with my laptop and the fan 

in here in the dark

(and Ray… and the dog

… and the world outside).

Thoughts come and go quickly.

The computer 

lets me capture them,

in the dark.

I catch them to put in this machine

before they get away.

Some make it to freedom,

but most I harvest.

I wonder if the best ones

are the ones that escape.

Am I right to stop them,

Can I catch time?

 

My children are in this machine, too,

their voices on Skype,

their photos and videos and words.

Their music and news of their friends.

They don’t live here any more.

Their rooms are clean and empty.

Enticing me to open the door 

and look in.

I find reasons to visit there

and enjoy seeing the detritus 

of their old lives

tidied up.

Like the outgrown shell 

of the hermit crab

or the chrysalis 

of the butterfly.

Out in the dark yard,

I close the chicken coop.

(I should have done it 

earlier.)

The hens make soft noises,

chiding me gently 

for disturbing them.

They feel safe.

Are they trusting me

to protect them?

Aided by the young dog, 

Cameron?

Will he know if a prowling skunk

comes to invade their safety,

And barking, send it away,

slinking back into the darkness?

A wire cage with a tin roof 

and a perch

is not much protection,

unless it is home.