Early morning is pretty much my favorite time of day. It's quiet. I still have energy and hope that today will be special, something wonderful will happen. In the evening, I'm tired and usually disappointed that nothing significant happened and possibly I didn't get done as much as I thought I would. Now the birds are singing, it's cool from the rain a little while ago.

It's Memorial Day. We talked some about driving somewhere not too far away, but really it's almost more depressing to drive somewhere just for the sake of driving somewhere than staying home and pretending that's what you really want to do. Although I kind of like the idea of having somewhere to go, it sounds tiring as well.

Yesterday morning I weeded for a while in the strawberry patch. It was quite pleasant and quiet, although a little humid and buggy. I found at least 3 mosquito bites last night at bedtime. Ray went to church to sell gift cards, but I didn't go. He reported there were only about 60 people there and 3 children for RE. It was a Memorial Day service about veterans, and I couldn't seem to get excited about giving up the coolest part of the day for it. The choir didn't sing, needless to say.

We had Salad Nicoise for lunch, one of our favorite things to have, especially on Sunday. We cooked the potatoes and the eggs early. About 11:30 Captain went out and picked the beans. There were more than we needed, so I washed and cut them all up and cooked them and froze some. There was lovely baby Romaine lettuce to wash too. I spent more than an hour before Ray took over. Fresh garden produce is a lot more trouble than what you buy in the store. I believe in it and I know it's worth it. But sometimes...I started out quite happy and appreciative, but as I got hungry and lunch still wasn't ready, I began to resent it. Anyway, it was delicious but I was still hungry--not enough carbs??

After lunch, I called a family meeting, something we did a few times when the children were young. We start with compliments (the garden is wonderful, we made it through our trip in spite of everything) and progressed to concerns or issues. It went pretty well, all things considered. It is very hard to talk about the future, when it surely holds death and possibly infirmity.

I spent some time planning meals in a not very successful fashion, dozed a little, ate supper, and watched more TV than I have in a while. The Vicar of Dibley made me laugh out loud. Ray had to pause it so I could stop laughing. It is very crude and silly; my father doesn't like it.

Rain early made it pretty wet out for a walk. I was cross because I couldn't work in the garden. Ray got up really early and we got some things done before we went to pilates, including vacuuming. We got to class more than 15 minutes early and had a chance to say hi to Cathleen. The class was really full and Amanda made it the hardest workout yet. My abs are sore this morning! We went by Kroger on our way home to pick up the gift cards and I bought a Southern Living...tsk tsk. When we were almost home, we remembered that we had left the Prius to have some work done, so we called and it was ready. I don't know why they will never call you when it's done. So we turned around and went to get it. Ray stopped and got gas in the Corolla and I came on home. Captain and Vanessa were eating lunch. They thought maybe we had decided to eat lunch out. We tidied up a little because they had bridge people coming. I spent a few minutes looking at catalogs. The Captain wants some new "dress" shorts and he needs them in size 48. I found some in the Eddie Bauer catalog that look pretty good. He continues to lose weight or at least have it redistributed and looks very good for 82.

While they were playing bridge, Ray and I watched TV in our room and I worked some more on the photo albums on my computer. We put away some clean laundry too and the time passed pretty quickly. I was toying with the idea of going out and working in the yard some, but by the time I got around to it, they were leaving. Captain and I picked peas and I had a chance to really look at the garden for the first time since we got home. He picked some baby summer squash too and we had them with our peas. There are some lettuces and radishes that have bolted, but otherwise it looks great. The blueberry bushes are covered with green berries and I can't wait. I think we may have more than we can use this year! The strawberries are sadly gone by, but I need to do some work to keep them healthy for next year.

After supper, we played cards some and then watched our favorite Saturday night TV show, putting me to sleep before it was over. Oddly enough, they ran the same episode twice, so I didn't miss anything by going to bed.

Woke up to thunder and lightning around 5, followed by about an hour of heavy rain. Good for the garden, but I was hoping to do some weeding or other outside work before it got hot today.

I have been getting to work early most days, with no Ray to slow me down. My boss was back in the office yesterday. I don't know if she is just not as happy with her job as she was, or other personal things are dragging her down, or she's unhappy with something I've done or haven't done. It's causing me to be a little stressed and that makes my back hurt because I don't sit right apparently. I did some work with the new Giftworks software and arranged for some more repairs. The dishwashing liquid and rinse aid arrived from the Janitor Supply company--almost $100. So the dishwasher should be ready to run. I didn't test it, though.

Had a quick lunch at Janna's. They are heading to the beach with family and friends for almost a week. Although the beach sounds tempting, the idea of driving for 5 hours to get there makes it not appealing to me right now.

I think I am worn out from working all week on not quite enough sleep. I really feel down. Came home and worked some on deleting photos. My computer is getting full and there are some pictures that are duplicates or have the wrong dates...it made me sad to look at pictures from 5 or 6 years ago. In looking back, it seems that I was happier then, but I know that memory is misleading.

Ray made supper and I enjoyed watching part of a movie and then saying, "I'm ready for bed," instead of trying to stay up and falling asleep.

Sigh. My memories and thoughts of France are already receding, being replaced by current interests and activities. But that's not all bad.

Yesterday was the second day my boss was at a meeting in Atlanta. Got lots done at work, but it was a little too quiet. Treated myself to a little shopping spree at lunch. I had a Talbot's coupon that expires Monday, so I bought a casual dress and a nice skirt and several t-shirts for under $100...and enjoyed it. The sales people there know me and it is almost like shopping with friends--friends who wait on me!

Came home at 3 and headed out again at 5:30 to the Democratic Committee meeting and then dinner with other UUs, talking about starting a group at the Fellowship about environmental issues. Home and in bed by 10. It was too hot most of the day, including at night, for opening windows. sigh.

Good morning, just a quick note, because I slept late this morning, almost until 6:30. I was awake a few times in the night, but that was probably the full moon as much as the jet lag. There is a cool breeze this morning.

Last night, during choir rehearsal, I could not stay awake. We were singing in some other language, maybe Swahili, and I couldn't just follow along. At one point, I opened my eyes and everyone was standing. I would have slipped out, but I wasn't on the end and it seemed like more trouble to push past people..

Worked on the newsletter yesterday and played with a trial version of Giftworks, which I think we will buy. It is very wonderful in a lot of ways, but I am a little nervous about giving up my familiar ODB. And I hate the idea of spending $1000 or more for fund-raising software. I don't think most people that support us would be happy about that. Getting more and more comfortable with my new computer. Meredith was in Atlanta at a conference, so listened to music barefoot while I worked. Bought groceries, even though Kerri went Friday. apparently everyone is out of food stamps (end of the month) and there are some gaps in the volunteer dinner calendar, since it's summer.

I'm moving in the right direction--slept until 3:45 this morning. Lying awake, thinking about things, hearing a rooster nearby (couldn't figure out what it was at first), and then the train. Since I went to bed about 9, I am almost getting enough sleep. Should be caught up soon. Ray took a 3 hour nap yesterday afternoon, the Captain fell asleep in the tub, and Vanessa napped a lot too.

Work was okay, still something of a challenge to concentrate for long periods...The computer guy did come and we got the database working again. Recopied some things for the woman at HED who processes my reimbursement requests. Meredith declared June to be the month of cleaning the place up. I felt like she was particularly referring to the mess in my office, but maybe that's projecting...Got back some to the policies and procedures, although couldn't seem to stay with it for long. The computer guy also copied all my music back!

Had lunch with Janna and enjoyed hearing about her trips. Mark is graduated with a Master's in Public Health and has a one-year paid internship in Washington. Janna drove up with him and helped set up the apartment that he and Ana have, going to Ikea and buying some things for them, and then flying back from Washington by herself. They are all four going to Hilton Head this week, along with some of the kids' friends.

At home, I was able to upload all my photos to Facebook, from the iPhone as well as the camera. Now to spend some time deleting stuff from my computer--it is about full and I am sure that I have duplicates of some photos and other stuff that could come off. I was able to have a nice long talk with Molli. She was working but could talk to me some on Skype.

I finally woke Ray up after 5 and he got started on supper, but it was after 7 when we ate and the rice was still a little chewy. My Dad's comment (which he has made before): we don't have to always eat fancy meals...plain hot dogs and hamburgers would be fine. I said this is what we like to eat; I am not eating hot dogs and hamburgers.

We managed to watch all of Big Bang Theory together, recorded from Monday night when we did not stay up that late. I am about done knitting the first sleeve of Molli's sweater. I was untangling the yarn and thought I could do it lying down...silly me, made it halfway through the Daily Show. We have so many shows recorded, we'll never catch up.

Whew! I was so exhausted yesterday I was barely human. Oddly enough, I was able to do my job, but was really cross. I wonder how many times I have been in a bad mood and it was really just fatigue?

I walked the dogs; they seemed quite happy to see me, but Cameron has not improved his ability to walk calmly without pulling on the leash. The Captain was already up, studying the garden, and Zoe was reluctant to come with me, sensing that she might be fed if she stayed with him, I guess. Ray got up just before and walked with me to the road and back. We were somewhat mystified about the mail. It appeared that only one day's worth had been brought in; no newspapers. This morning there was a paper and I brought it back with me. There wasn't much to eat, although there was orange juice (horrible cheap variety). All the dishes had been put in the cupboard any which way, which was surprisingly annoying. I wondered if they had left them dirty and washed them all at the end, then stacked them in wherever they fit. There was skim milk and granola and a very old English muffin, so I had enough to eat, but there didn't look like anything for me to take for lunch.

I headed off for work and got there just at 8. The traffic was bad, and driving seemed challenging, perhaps in part because I had not driven for a couple weeks, but possibly because my brain was not working as well as it should have. I had not taken time to find my other purse, with the work keys I had deliberately not taken on the trip. So I had to have someone let me in the building and then wait for Kerri or Meredith to let me into my office. Shawn was there and she told me Meredith's grandmother in Venezuela had died, so she had been gone since Tuesday. I texted her to say I was sorry and was she going to be in today. Yes, she said, at 9 o'clock. Kerri arrived as I was texting her to ask about her schedule. I had forgotten that she had a meeting with all the residents every Monday morning. She has a key to my office.

The new computer and online mail seemed daunting to me. The computer was on and it was clear someone else had been using it. The old computer defaulted to a screen requiring a password every 5 minutes, which was annoying. I had not set up the new one that way. Since my office was supposedly kept locked when I was not there, I didn't think it necessary. There was a lot of mail piled up and I made a start on it. Meredith arrived and I expressed my condolences, perhaps too briefly. She did not seem responsive to my questions and comments and I don't know if she was just grieving and exhausted from her trip, or was for some reason unhappy with me. We eventually got payroll done and I paid the bills that had accumulated. I was hungry very early. I am intrigued by the relationship between hunger and fatigue. None of the restaurant options appealed to me; I didn't have a book or magazine to look at and didn't want to eat by myself. I went to lunch at 11 and drove home. Ray and my Mom had been to the grocery store. He and I ate some leftovers our house sitters had in the fridge, a mix of rice, beans and squash (from the garden?) and some leftover green beans as well (from the garden?). Ray had bought a baguette at Kroger and I had a little of that too. I felt much better afterward and headed back to work. Met with Meredith for our weekly meeting to talk about what we were both doing for the week. She will be gone a couple days at a meeting. I tried to find out about McKenzy's schedule. She is the new volunteer coordinator, formerly an intern, who started last week while I was gone. I have some ideas about her duties, etc., that Meredith does not agree with, so I make suggestions and she says no. It is okay, I can let it go. Meredith seems a little overwhelmed. Her husband left town to visit his family in Texas the same day she was coming back from the funeral. After we talked a little about her personal issues, she seemed a little better.

At 3, I left and made deposits at the bank before heading home. I was tired but not sleepy and didn't want to nap. I downloaded some photos from my camera (after deleting some old things) and posted them on FB. (A few of them are here; somehow I have regained the ability to add photos to the blog--yay!)

Ray did a load of wash and Vanessa did one too. He hung them both out and made supper. There were lots of peas and beans in the garden. Vanessa shelled and froze the peas and she and the Captain cut up, blanched and froze three batches of beans, while we ate some for supper. Our neighbor, Sky, called to say she had our mail and Vanessa and I dragged ourselves to their house, with the unruly Cameron on a leash. I brought a bag for the mail, but there was also a heavy plastic bag full of newspapers that I put over my back like Santa Claus. Vanessa had to rest a bit before we headed back. We were certainly glad to have our mail. Ray and I managed to stay awake until 8:30 before heading up to bed. I slept until almost 3, which is an improvement. Then I read some and dozed a little more until 5:45. I feel much more human now!