Feeling philosophical

I'm reading this book, Women Talking, which I started a few times and put down. It seemed dry and depressing, but it is also, in a way, funny and intriguing. I won't go into the details, but it engenders thoughts about good and bad and what would make for a perfect society. I have read lots of utopian science fiction over the years and been interested in real-life communities. In fact, we used to live in an "intentional community." In spite of sharing similar opinions on most big issues, the people there disagreed on many of the details. I spent many hours on discussions like those. This book

She checked the weather on her phone and determined it was going to be warm today, but cloudy. The amount of sunshine usually made a big difference in how comfortable she was. Even a cold day with lots of sun shining in would be lovely and warm inside. She had nowhere to go today, so did not need to worry about what to wear. Since it would be warm, she would wear a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, with one of her collection of hand-knit swetaers, and a medium pair of socks, not the heaviest ones. Yesterday had been pleasant. The new church was really impressive. They had a staff of about 10 and 700 members. She and her husband had taken a tour for visitors, and they were about a dozen, including two families with children. It was fun to start getting to know new people, people with similar values, who were also new to the area. The church (actually a fellowship) was still very careful about COVID and everyone wore masks, except the minister and soloists. The music was familiar and joyous. Amelia was at our house when we got home. We ate leftovers together and sat around, each on our own devices, in companionable silence. At 2:30, we headed to the shop to join Craft Club. There ended up being 8 of us, working on knitting and sewing projects. I finished the first sleeve of my current sweater project. On the way home, we talked about ordering food, but in the end, it was still early enough for me to put together a recipe I had found the day before for black bean and zucchini and corn, cooked and put in tortillas. It didn't take long and tasted good. We spent more time trying to decide on a movie to watch. "Just choose what you want to watch. I'll just be here," Amelia said. But when we wanted to watch Everything Everywhere All at Once, it wasn't available on any of the services we pay for. Neither was Turning Red or any other Oscar-nominated movie. We found one we like called, The Book Club, featuring some actors we like, including Jane Fonda and Mary Steenbergen. Amelia objected though, she didn't want to watch a rom-com about old people. In the end, we watched The Lost City, which she had seen and enjoyed, with Sandra Bullock, and surprise! Brad Pitt. It's like Jewel of the Nile, and adventure-romance that is not at all believable, featuring an author and her cover model (Tatum Channing) who get caught up in a plot from one of her books. Daniel Radcliffe is the bad guy, and I did have some trouble thinking of him as anyone other than Daniel Radcliffe. For that matter, Sandra Bullock was pretty much still Sandra Bullock--although not the clumsy one from some of her movies.

Mistakes

Yesterday I made two stupid mistakes. Thursday night Kevin's sister and brother-in-law came for a visit. There is a BrewFest or some kind of beer event that they like to attend every year. Friday we had a lovely brunch with them at Guglhupf, a German restaurant/biergarten that has a great setup for outdoor seating, including heaters. You order at the outside window and someone brings the food to your table. You grab your own silverware and water (if you're not drinking beer). The food was very good. I ordered schnitzel, like you do when you're at a German restaurant. My side was cucumber salad. I should have taken a picture. The pork covered the plate. It's a very thin, breaded cutlet. It was good, but might have benefited (in my benighted opinion) from some kind of sauce. Probably mustard, which I don't like. We sat and talked in the sunshine for hours. It was very nice. Amelia and I went to a nearby thrift store, Pennies for Change. More upscale than the others I have visited. And they had a set of ceramic canisters. They were individually priced, so I could have gotten just the big one, but I felt it was wrong to break up the set. We also got a mirror with hooks to hang by the front door. Not sure when that will happen...Then I spent some more time at the shop, working on my plaid flannel bathrobe. I'm beginning to think I might finish it. And wear it and like it! We had Amelia's leftover chickpea and cauliflower curry for supper, with a few condiments like cucumbers in yogurt and coconut and peanuts. She is staying with us for a few days, while the group is carousing. Obviously, can't really mask when you're drinking beer and there are lots of people, so she will be cautious until a few days after they leave. She goes by to take care of the chickens morning and night, but keeps her distance from her husband and family. We're glad to have her here, and it's nice she has that options. Even without COVID, it's not super fun to be the sober one going to bed while a group of loud drunk people hang out. On Saturday, the event was to take place. Amelia works all day every Saturday and it was busy at the store. Ray and I were to go to the Farmers' Market and then go by Amelia's house to let out her dog, Maggie, and Kasey & Rhett's dog, Ipa. At 9:45, Ray noticed that he was supposed to be at work at the H&R Block office at 10. Since we have only one car here, I could drive him to work if I wanted a car. "No," I said, I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't feel like going to the farmers' market alone and I wouldn't be going to Amelia's shop when it was busy. She had two classes scheduled, so I couldn't use the classroom, where I usually set up the sewing machine. That was my first mistake, because I remembered, an hour or so later, that I needed to go to Amelia's and let out the dogs, somewhere in the middle of the day, while people were at the BeerFest. Ray offered to run back and give me the car. "No," I said, "I'll walk. I'll take Cameron and we'll rest there a while before we walk back." Second mistake. It took 37 minutes for us to walk there. I kept yanking on Cameron, so he wouldn't stop and smell everything. The first part of the route was familiar, we walked toward the park where Ray usually takes him. Then we turned on Indian Trail, a nice quiet road. None of the streets had any sidewalk, or even shoulder. Then we turned on Hillandale, which was pretty busy. We walked along the edge of the golf course, which was very busy. It was a beautiful sunny day. I didn't need my hat, but kept my fleece zipped up. I was okay, but the last few minutes I was pretty tired. C. was panting, wandering into the middle of the street if I didn't keep him close (in the neighborhood, not on the busy road). We got to the house and I let him into the back yard. I went around and let the dogs out into the yard and the next thing I knew there was barking and snarling and Ipa was on top of Cameron. I was yelling, "No," and "Stop," but I didn't dare try to get between them, since I don't really know Ipa and she clearly did not know Cameron. OK, I get it in hindsight. There was a strange dog in the yard and she was protecting Maggie, maybe even me. I got her back in the house. Maggie was just confused. There was blood on Cameron's muzzle and he waited by the gate. He wanted to go. I wanted to rest and I wanted him to rest. I brought him water, but I don't think he drank any. He didn't seem to have trouble walking and he stopped bleeding. Ipa appeared unhurt and unfazed. I had a couple glasses of water and sat for a bit, but C. wasn't interested in resting there. On the way back, we took our time. I let him smell as much as he wanted. We took a different route without busy roads. It was colder now, though, and I wanted to be done with the whole thing. There is a small cut on his face, but Cameron seems fine and anxious to go for another walk. I'm fine too, but not planning to walk that far again soon.

Tips and hints

If you live in a small kitchen--and this one is great, it is not a tiny house by any means. Full size refrigerator, oven, double sink. The dishwasher is small but we haven't used it in a month, for 2-4 of us. (Yes, it's been a whole month already. No wonder I'm a little restless.) If you live in a small kitchen, it is not that hard to make it work. Obviously, you can't stock up, unless you have storage somewhere else. We have the big bag of dog food in the laundry room, and empty it into a bin in the kitchen 3 or 4 times before we get a new one. K likes to buy snacks in bulk for guests. They are in the guest room closet for now. When we leave, they'll go back to his house. If you like to buy giant packages of toilet paper, can you store them in the attic? We do have an attic, with pull-down stairs, but I don't need to save money on toilet paper bad enough to go up there once a week or so. Maybe you think it's worth it. Maybe you don't use an oven and can store things there. I like to bake. I make bread and even pies sometimes, but not every day. My rolling pin and a few other things are in a drawer in the guest room closet. Do I use my grater every day? My citrus squeezer, my cookie scoop? Things in the drawers are easier to keep track of if they are only the daily necessities. Even that could possibly be outsourced--is there a drawer under your TV with junk in it? How many forks and spoons do you use? If you wash the dishes after every meal, most things don't need to be taking up prime real estate. The challenge, I have found, is to remember where you put it. The scraper I used to make bread the first week was missing for most of the month--until I went to get the rolling pin from the auxiliary drawer in the closet! Oh, right, I remember putting it there. I don't have canisters on the counter, the space is too valuable. I don't have a huge assortment of spices. The quiche that's in the oven called for a sprinkling of paprika. Will the quiche taste terrible without it? I doubt it. I will have to keep track. OK, today I'm using a can of black beans; need to put another can on the list. Don't buy 2 cans. I don't have a variety of grains right now--no quinoa, farro, couscous. Two kinds of pasta: long and short. I do have 3 kinds of flour, but you probably don't need them. I might whittle it down to 2. On the Massachusetts front, the P&S Agreement is signed, so it looks like the sale will go through. Our furniture will go into storage the end of March, the day before the closing. Then we will either stay in NC, travel, or find a short-term rental. In any case, the longer it takes to find the perfect North Shore house, the more money we will save. (Storing furniture is not very expensive; the bigger cost is moving it twice, but still less than a month's mortgage, utilities, etc.). One of the details to work out is planning a trip north, less than a week, to pack up and get rid of everything we left there. And say hello to Dad and D. I would love to know when the weather will be good. When will the airfares be best? When will we have no obligations here?

House-selling woes

OK, I'm having a little slump. It's 30 out now in Durham, although the sun is shining in the windows and I think it will warm up soon. On Wednesday, my day to work for CSN, there wasn't much for me to do. I thought about looking for another part-time job, but did the puzzle instead. I baked the cookies I had made and frozen in little sugary balls a couple weeks ago. The last couple days have seen some activity about selling our house, but not a lot of exciting options for buying one. Ray and I are toying with the idea of traveling for a month or so after the sale, since we won't have anywhere to live (except Durham, which will get pretty hot). This pandemic is one thing interfering with that plan. Also, not sure I would be happy with the uncertainty of it--without a place to come home to...not knowing what we might be missing... There were some permits that had been pulled for work done to the house previously that had never been closed. Shame on those contractors. I will say they acted quickly to solve the problem. Inspections were signed and everything was fine. The other problem was the front door. This is kind of a lesson for anyone in a similar situation. We had our house painted, and clapboards replaced as necessary. They did a great job and everyone loved it (well, some people thought it was a little bright). The trim around the front door needed some work and I had the idea to add a small roof over the door. I had talked to the president of the historical society, who said it could be done, they would most likely approve it. I lined up a contractor. Bob went to the building inspector (I think) and found that we would need an architect to draw up the plans and have to get approval for two variances, as well as the historical society. The whole process would probably take a year and cost lots more than we wanted to spend. So much for having a covered entrance (especially needed in this time of so many home deliveries). We asked Bob if he would just repair the trim where it needed it and paint it. He said sure, could he do it in September? We asked how long it would take and he said less than a week. OK, we said. Well, September came and went and we didn't hear from him. Eventually, he came by and apologetically said he would not be able to do the work. He gave us the molding samples he had gotten and said he would happily consult with someone who would do the work. Turns out, he had several heart attacks and really couldn't do the physical labor any more. We tried some other names, but had the same luck we had dealt with in the years of living there--people said yes, but didn't every follow through, or just didn't return calls. So, now, we had agreed with the realtor to give a credit to the buyer for the cost of the trim painting. This particular buyer wanted $4000. We said $1000, and there is sat for a few days. Eventually, we gave in and agreed to $2000. Moral of the story being, go ahead and get the painting done, even if you plan to redo the work soon. I also had someone come and give an estimate of moving all our furniture to storage. Turns out, storage doesn't cost much. We will just add the cost of moving everything a second time. The total is about what we would pay for housing during a month, so it's kind of a break-even situation. And the storage itself is about $200, so the longer they keep it, the more money we "save." That's the money we might spend on a trip.

Is that all there is?

She said to herself, "Is that all there is to life?" Of course, no one promised anything. There was no reason to expect happiness, fulfillment...I guess people are just wired that way: there must be a reason we're here, an explanation for our existence. But science says otherwise, it's just chance, evolution. The dog doesn't wonder about his purpose in life. We've just developed expectations, along with our ability to think. 

I think of the song, well, now I don't even remember the song..."is that all there is?" Is it Que Sera Sera? I don't like to say I'm at the end of my life, but I'm definitely not at the beginning. You could accurately say I'm in the latter half of my life, even if I live to be 110. I'm very fortunate, never hungry for long, never without a place to sleep. And I'm not really unhappy now, just kind of wondering. 

I've worked hard, tried to be a good person, raised children, been a caring wife. Even this morning, I've already cooked oatmeal (well, it did run over into the burner and smell) and washed a few dishes. 

It's cold here today, 28 out and the heat has been running almost nonstop since I woke up hours ago.  But the sun is coming. 

Yesterday I made a delicious recipe from New York Times Cooking. It was very simple, too. Mac and cheese with broccoli, all cooked in one pot on the stove. Ray prepped the broccoli, so all I did was throw everything in the pot. Amelia came and ate some with us. I also baked meringues, with nuts. They turned out very well. 

We did have a stressful day. The realtor called to say the buyer wants some permits closed. What? I had no idea. Two contractors who did work on our house (and were paid) did not have the final inspections done. One of them was for insulation in the walls. We had to call and make arrangements for the city to come approve the work on Wednesday morning, which means letting our tenant know. We have no idea how they can inspect work that is inside the walls, that have since been re-covered and freshly painted. We'll see. I haven't reached the other contractor yet, the one who did some work on the roof when I first arrived. I wasn't very happy with him and do not know what will happen if he doesn't respond. Then there are two other permits from 2010, long before we owned the house. The realtor is going to talk to the city and see what can be done. 

Other than that, not much happened. The day seemed to go by quickly. I talked to my sister on the phone, worked on the puzzle and did some bookkeeping for Amelia's business. We didn't take the car out at all. 

Busy

Yesterday, Ray and I attended a church service, in person, and sang in the choir. The choir at ERUUF sings with masks. There was a soloist who unmasked when he sang. The minister really liked our singing. I did too. Amelia's Durham friend Becky, the social worker, came and hugged me afterwards. I have learned several people's names so far. We had to be there at 8:45 am, which is a little early for us these days. After an hour, we stopped and the ministers and service leaders prepared in the space. We had an hour to sit quietly (or go away and come back). The building is lovely, with views from windows of trees. We sang hymns from the teal hymnal, the newer one that we rarely use in Beverly. I thought the service was excellent, although it did run over. They are getting ready to do a strategic 5-year plan, which is a little weird for us to be involved in. Clint was one of the greeters and he was talking to people about putting in electric chargers. They have a grant for most of the cost, but want the congregation to be in agreement about spending the rest of the money from the budget. I'm in favor, but should my voice be equally valuable with long-time year-round members? I have a blue nametag as a visitor/new member. 

It rained all day. After a quick lunch of leftovers, Ray dropped me off at the protest site for Bigger than Roe, a celebration of the 50th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. There were about 8 of us and we didn't last long. It was a little rainy, but mostly quite cold for most people. I wore my big puffy coat and boots and mittens, so I was fine. They were showing "Come from Away" at the Performing Arts Center (Ray and I saw it on Broadway and really liked it). The officials from DPAC did not want the protesters on "their" sidewalk engaging with people coming to see it. Most people were supportive. 

I spent the afternoon at Amelia's shop. I was planning to take the bus--they're free! But the organizer, Miriam, gave me a ride. She knew Amelia slightly and had been there. The store was busy, which is always gratifying. I knit on a sweater project that I have been working on off and on. The more time I spend there, the more I want to buy. I bought some fancy buttons for a sweater I finished a while ago that doesn't have buttons. I want to make some more underwear, but I left the pattern in Beverly. I really want to make a Handmaid's cape and there is some great red fabric, but I don't have a pattern. It will take a lot of fabric and probably needs to be lined.