I am awfully grumpy this morning. Perhaps it is the cold rainy weather that seems to be worst every Saturday. The fire is not warming me up yet.

Yesterday at work, Meredith was not there (moving into her new place). Amanda and I finished up the end-of-the-year letters, I hope. Taylor and I started working on a report for a small grant we got to buy food and supplies for the shelter. We have to go back and find every check and every receipt to submit, documenting we spent the money as promised. My new file cabinet came (yay!) and I stuck the files in. One of these days, I will need to go through and archive old things and set up the system for this year. I left before 2 and went by the bank and the post office. I had to stamp a bunch of letters and mail them.

I also took some of my old clothes to a couple places to try to sell some of them. I got $13 at Cillies for a few things, but I have a lot left. Then I parked outside Ray's office and read my email on my iPhone for a while. It got a little cold by the time he came out.

We came home to feed Zoe and let her out and then went to Janna's for dinner--Becky and Deb's birthdays. It was a weight watchers meal, but pretty good and satisfying. Time for me to eat again now though. We didn't leave until 10.

Yesterday I slept in a a little--no time for blogging. I woke up before 5 and as I was waiting for it to be 5:30, suddenly it was 6:45.

Wednesday I worked on the end-of-year letters, and left about 3:30. I made the macaroni and cheese for potluck, because he was working on the financials for the Democratic committee meeting. Tanya and Miles stopped by with some eggs. We went to potluck and choir, and went to bed early.

Yesterday morning, my parents headed off to Florida in the car. It looked like a great day for driving. I have such mixed feelings when they're gone. I worry about them driving and miss their company and help. But I also feel kind of giddy and relaxed in a way I don't when they're here. Ray and I can eat what we want (beans) and listen to what we want and watch what we want. When we get up in the morning, we make noise and play music.

Yesterday, I waited for the new file cabinet I ordered to be delivered. The old one was inoperable. I had moved it out of the way and moved things out of it in anticipation. In the midst of this chaos, I attempted to finish my tax letters, meet with the director of a program that some of our residents might be able to move into, and work with Meredith on things. She was supposed to have lunch with the board president on Wednesday, but she canceled. You may remember I had similar difficulties with her not following up on her promises to me. Then they were going to get together yesterday, but she couldn't make that meeting either. She called at 3 and Meredith left early to have a long conversation with her off site. She is having some challenges with the Job TREC program, as I expected. We are very much on the same page. She feels even more strongly than I do and has been discussing things with me, which I very much appreciate. It does mean that she will ask me a question as I am working on something else... I got most of the letters done and will finish them today, then buy another roll of stamps and mail them. Meredith is off today, moving into her apartment in Athens. In some ways, it will be a relief to have her gone. She is very intense. I am glad we are on the same team!

I had lunch with Ray and left about 5. He drove himself in the truck, so he could stay for the Democratic committee meeting. I had the house to myself for a couple hours. I have to say I am not very good at being alone. I brought my computer downstairs, built a fire, made supper, and worked on keeping track of my food for the last few days. I was really glad when he got home. We ate well and healthily and watched some of the Notebook on TV--a love story--as well as Enterprise, a Star Trek series. An interesting contrast. To bed a little late.

I open my eyes a little and look at the digital alarm clock by my bed--4:45. I start to go back to sleep. Then I am suddenly wide awake. Thank God I'm fine. I was in a car accident yesterday and my back is not even stiff.

I stopped at a government building after I left the Shelter to turn in an amendment to a grant request. As I came out of the driveway, I looked right, I looked left and then bump--an incredible noise and jolt. How could this have happened? I am shocked, then angry. My excellent driving record is gone. I was just a tiny bit careless, perhaps. A little too casual. I throw the keys on the floor. Shit! I can't open my door. I crawl across to the passenger side and get out that door. The other car is pulled up to the curb, the left side scraped and indented across two doors. I stand by the door, but the driver doesn't open it or the window. I see he is talking on a cell phone. I move around to the other side and stand on the sidewalk waiting. He is wearing a baseball cap, but as she rolls down the window, I see that it is a woman with very short hair. "What street is this?" she says. "Satula", I say. "Are you calling the police?" "Yes," she says. "Are you all right?" I ask. "Fine," she says. She makes another call. I go back to my car. I call Ray. "I've been in an accident. I think the car is totaled. Can you come here?" "where are you? he says. I stumble, trying to tell him, but eventually he understands. "I don't know if the car is drivable. Maybe you should call home and have Daddy come get you." "Yes," he says. "that's the best thing to do." "And call Sate Farm." "Right."

I hear sirens. The ambulance arrives. I am surprised, but I assume it is routine. The police are right behind. A policewoman asks me to move my car. "I'm not sure I can. I couldn't open the door, so I crawled out the passenger side." She opens the door on the driver's side. It creaks and resists, but opens. I get in and it starts right up and I pull around behind her like she asks. I say, "Why is the ambulance here? She told me she was fine." "She asked for it," she tells me. "Don't worry, everything's okay." she says. "It's normal. she was probably shook up." "Well, yeah." I say with feeling. She was probably terrified.

As I look around, I see a red pickup truck down the street. I take a picture with my cell phone. This is what I think happened. She came around a corner and was hidden by the truck. It's a small black car. She pulled onto the other side of the street to go around him and hand not gotten back over when I started out. A combination of things that led to expensive and aggravating, but fortunately not injurious, consequences.

I give my license and insurance card to the cop and she says, "Wait a minute, just stay in your car. No need to be cold." I call Ray again and tell him the car drives. He calls the body shop back to cancel the tow truck. Eventually the cop gives me back my license and a ticket--failure to yield right of way. She says I can go to court and protest it or I can pay the fine. I feebly say, "the pickup truck..." She says they have to put that on there, it's routine, and I nod. I have heard this before from other people. The car that hits the other car is the one at fault. "You're free to go." I call Ray one more time. "Is Daddy there yet? I can come get you." "No," he says. "Go to Patton Brothers. They're expecting you. I'll meet you there." I start the car again and drive to the body shop. We've been there before, but it's been years. I am sad and a little nervous. Is the car really safe to drive? I imagine people are looking at me--other drivers are saying to themselves, "better give her a wide berth."

At the body shop, they are kind and ask how I am. "A little upset," I say... I wait a few minutes and then Mike comes out with a clipboard. We look at the damage together. It is really not too bad. The bumper has torn up, the way they are designed to do. It looks like the door, the hood and even the headlight are okay. We go back inside and he adds it all up. $2200. Whew, not totaled. My baby--I've had this car almost 8 years, over 150,000 miles and I am glad it can be repaired. Although a tiny part of me was hoping this would mean we could get a new Prius. They get even better mileage. Ray and my Dad arrive. They are sympathetic and give me hugs. Mike gets what he calls a spoon, but looks more like a apatula, and makes it so the door can open and close without rubbing.

Ray drives me home; we stop and get gas. Daddy goes on ahead. I am okay. We will have to pay $250 deductible because I am at fault. And the citation; I don't know how much that is. We go back to the scene. The truck is gone, but I show him how it was and he starts to get mad. "Yeah," he says. "It wasn't your fault at all." It is nice to have a champion, but I don't really think the court would agree, so I probably won't go. We'll see how much it is. I think "thank goodness for insurance." And probably for the way they make cars to protect their occupants.

With my iPhone, I have updated my Facebook status to say I have been in an accident. My older daughter Amelia is on the phone when I walk in the door, talking to my Dad. I talk to her a bit, but have nothing really to say. "I'm fine."

My Mom has been making dinner. It smalls good. And we all have a drink. It is nice to have a family to take care of you in these situations. I just sit and try to calm down, while other people do things around me. My father cannot get over the idea that I would rush to tell everyone via Facebook before I even got home...I guess I just felt the need to connect with people.

So, other than that... my boss was there when I arrived yesterday (a few minutes late). She said she was at 62%. Kerri showed up for the staff meeting, but she didn't feel good either. Brandy had called in sick as well. I felt very vulnerable, like I would probably catch it too. Meredith and I talked about lots of things during the day. I didn't really go into the problems of delivering the grant, but I did mention the fact that I couldn't get onto her computer to find out about mailing it because she changed the password. She said, it was in the Shared Documents file and I said, but that is on your computer. Then she talked about google cloud computing, where everything is stored on line, and she is going to be trying to set that up. I didn't say, maybe that isn't the first thing to worry about... We talked a lot about the Job TREC program and changes that need to be made. Sometimes I think she is a lot like me, but then she says something that reminds me how different we are in age...or yesterday she said something about how she hates when people cry. "Do that in your car," she said. So I will have to try to restrain myself if I feel like crying.

I had lunch with Becky and janna in Five Points--15 minutes there, 15 minutes back, 30 minutes to eat and talk. It's nice to have friends. Of course, I didn't tell them I was going to have a car accident later that day.

After dinner, we played a little cards and watched a little TV and went to bed. I said, "thanks for not yelling at me." Ray said, "I never get mad about big things." Which is true. And that's nice.

I tend to be pretty optimistic when i wake up each morning...and a little down when the day comes to an end and it hasn't lived up to its potential. I try to work on being grateful for the little things (and not so little, like being alive and employed and warm). So here's to another new day!

My new boss, Meredith, did not come in yesterday, and Kerri came in but left again, sick as well. I am quite worried that i will get it. I actually stayed out of Meredith's office, hoping to escape her nasty virus. Here's hoping that getting enough sleep and healthy eating will protect me. My parents are heading out of town Thursday. If I was going to get sick, I would rather they not get it, so maybe it could be after they leave... A toilet overflowed this weekend, so one of the first things I did was call a plumber. He came while I was out and worked for a while, but said he would be back later. Late in the day, I called to find out whether that meant later today or another day. He got caught up in some plumbing emergency somewhere else and will be back today I hope. That means she and her children have to go to the staff bathroom.

Meanwhile, I had forgotten that I agreed to speak to a UGA class about homelessness, one on housing policy. I got a little carried away, telling this room of 50 bored students how they should not buy the latest fads and that would solve the problem of poverty and homelessness. Nobody seemed moved. Then I went to lunch at the Georgia Center. The professor was buying. The menu said, "Ask about our sustainable entree." So I did. It was prime rib, which seemed an odd choice to be sustainable, but I ordered it. It was fine, with mashed potatoes and broccoli, not the best prime rib I ever ate, but good and relatively inexpensive (although I wasn't paying) at $8.95. The broccoli was so lightly cooked I couldn't eat it. sad. I had water to drink, no rolls and no dessert. yay me. I was talking later to my parents and trying to decide what was the best prime rib I ever ate. I came up with the Dog Team--sniff. I miss that restaurant. Maybe things just don't taste as good to me now as they did then.

I went back to the shelter and stayed until almost 5. One of our residents had a bad weekend, getting in an accident and totaling her car, getting a ticket and quitting one of her two jobs. It looks like the last reimbursement request I submitted last year for one of our grants was never processed. I am thinking maybe Alison was supposed to sign it and send it in and never did. So that's $3760 we lost...I emailed them about it, but think it is too late. And my locking file cabinet, where I keep personnel files, checks and even cash sometimes, has given up the ghost. It pretty much doesn't open and close any more. I sent Taylor to look for one at the Habitat store--I guess he didn't find one. I'll have to get it open at least long enough to move everything to a new one.

I picked Ray up and came home. He insisted on making supper. I was a little at a loss as to what to do with myself, but it was very nice and delicious. We finished our card game (started in the basement during the tornado) and I won--it was a very high scoring game, with everyone getting more than 200 points. We set up the card table in front of the wood stove and it is very pleasant. We were finished in time to watch our favorite show. It was a rerun but we laughed a lot. It was almost funnier the second time. I did not fall asleep until I went to bed, just after 10.

Sigh. Monday morning...who knows what this week will bring?


It poured all day yesterday. Ray and I walked a little in the morning, when it was raining but not pouring, so I guess it didn't pour all day. We had French toast for breakfast, but only a slice each.

I sang in choir and ray was the sound engineer. The service was excellent--about not expecting everyone to be like you. there were 10-20 visitors; I have no idea why. mostly young couples. We had our 4th sunday lunch afterward. Ray made tuna-noodle salad (it was the men's lunch).

Then we rushed off to see Avatar--a really fun way to spend 3 hours on a rainy Sunday afternoon. The matinee was only $9 for 3D. The movie draws from Terminator and Star Wars, as well as Fern Gully and the Great Kapok Tree (? a Dr. Seuss book?), and is even reminiscent of Ice Age 3. It is a fairy tale with a love story and a happy ending. But there are some good messages and, as others have said, it is groundbreaking film making. The hero is a paraplegic, which is nice. since I generally only go to happy movies, it is always depressing to leave the fantasy world and remember how flawed our world is--getting moreso all the time.

Of course, we knew the danger--it seemed like we did nothing all day. I made supper and thought about the meals for the next few days. After supper, there was a tornado warning so we went down cellar and played cards for a few hands. There's an old card table down there that we set up under the light, with the least broken chairs we could find. We had to make forays upstairs for paper and nuts to keep score with and thought how ironic it would be if a tornado hit just then...how did your father die? well, he was getting the paper to keep score...

Then I read some, because it was football on TV, and went to bed by 10.

It's raining again. I like the sound of it. It's not very cold in here, because Ray built up a fire last night.

He slept until I woke him in time to go to Pilates class. We enjoyed it very much. On our way home, we stopped at Kroger and EarthFare for him to get grocery certificates for the Fellowship, so I did a little shopping both places. In the afternoon, we played cards. I lost by quite a bit. The Captain keeps talking about Avatar, which they saw Friday, so Ray and I nearly went. The times are awkward, though. If we go to a 4:00 show, it will be too late to make supper when we get home. 8:00 is too late for me to start a 3-hour movie, usually. Maybe we'll go today.

Had a pleasant dinner. My Dad said why didn't we just have plain food; I was working too hard. I assured him I prefer to cook (and eat) more interesting things. Actually tonight's menu was not very hard or time-consuming. Ray and my Mom helped. Rachel Ray recipes are supposed to be 30 minutes, but usually take me much longer. I think when it calls for the zest and juice of one orange, they don't count that time in the 30 minutes. Assuming you have someone to prepare it for you, or you keep already zested and juiced oranges in your fridge...

I was falling asleep watching TV and got up to take a bath. then watch a little more TV and really fall asleep. In bed by 10.

I'm glad it's Saturday. Yesterday was a hard day and I am still grumpy about several things.

This was the day that Meredith and I had to finish up the grant that was due by 5:00--postmarked and emailed--and then I was going to talk to her about some of the other things on my list. She has been working hard all week and pretty much doing it all--not wanting to delegate anything, since she's the director and it's her job. All of which I totally understand and I have plenty to do myself for now. She has also been driving back and forth to Gwinnett County where they are staying with her Mom and starting to move things here to an apartment. And not eating and sleeping. Needless to say, she crashed and burned yesterday afternoon. She was green and had to get her husband to come take her home about 3. The grant was supposedly done and I just needed to mail it and email it after looking it over once more. The biggest problem was that both she and the Board president were supposed to sign it and she had not noticed that? I was reluctant to call her and the Board president did not respond to my phone call. I had Amanda read it over and made some small corrections to typos. Then I saved it and could not find it anywhere. I went into panic mode. I had Jaron call the post office and it turned out they closed at 4:30. I didn't have the actual instructions for submitting the grant, like the address. I tried to log onto Meredith's computer, but she has changed the password--again, her prerogative, but... I found what I needed, printed it, signed it, emailed it...and hand delivered it to ACTION, Inc. before 5. I don't feel as confident as I would like that everything was done right. It was a very stressful couple of hours and I realized in the process that I have managed to avoid that sort of experience for the most part. Working with other people does not allow me the degree of control I need to avoid it, but I will certainly do the best I can.

Ray and I were planning to play racquetball, but it was 5 before I picked him up, and my cell phone had died. Apparently the iPhone needs charging a lot more often than my last few phones. We did go to Ramsey, parked, and stood in line to go in, but there were no racquetball courts, naturally. And we didn't have much time anyway. Sometimes we might have changed and walked on the indoor track, but we were trying to get to the Fellowship by 6:30. We just walked back to the car and drove to a restaurant we hadn't tried in Five Points. We sat next to the Posses and chatted with them. The food was excellent and we were through by 6:15. I had a hot toddy and it was good. It had turned cold again, although not below freezing.

At the Fellowship we watched a film made by C Reed, the sister of member Lee and sister-in-law of Clela. It was preceded by wine and cheese. I wasn't feeling very chatty and mostly kept to myself. Ray was racing around helping set up the sound system. There was a great turnout. The sanctuary was almost full and there were quite a few from the gay and lesbian community, as well as foster care advocates from DFCS and CASA. The movie is about a gay couple, one of the men a UU minister, who adopt 5 children, most of whom have been in many foster homes. One had 3 failed adoptions...two sets of African-American brothers and one Hispanic child. The movie said his Mom came across the border and then left him in the hospital. I wish I knew the other side to that story. Anyway, they are awesome guys and it was sad to see the difficulties the boys had because they have 2 Dads. They moved several times, in part because that is what ministers do, but also because they were looking for a more accepting community. I believe they are now in San Francisco--with 5 teenagers! The Dads are probably in their 50s--they were together 20 years before adopting them.

One of the hard things is that C's husband was the director (she is a cultural anthropologist) and they worked on it together for about 6 years before he died somewhat suddenly of cancer. She finished the movie and has been traveling around showing it. This is her last planned showing and I don't know what she will do now. She is staying in Athens for a while. Their daughters are grown. Clela has been accepted into the Peace Corps (hard to do for people over 60) and will be leaving in a few months, so maybe C will stay with her brother for a while.

When we got home, the Captain was still up. They had gone to a 4:30 showing of Avatar (in 3-D) and then gotten takeout dinner on the way home at the meatball place. I had been looking forward to seeing that all together, although they are certainly entitled to go on their own.

I am looking forward to some physical activity today and some relaxation. I hope it works out.