Hi,

Yesterday we had two men stripping and refinishing the floors at the Shelter. It really needed doing and looks so much better. But we couldn't use the hallways and the fans were really noisy and it smelled bad and was pretty warm. I went out for about an hour and a half at lunchtime and bought some pink yarn to make a hat for Lidet (as well as having a cold drink and reading the Guernsey Potato Peel and Literary Society). In addition to my regular tasks, I began working on something for the audit: allocating every expense from 2008 to one of several categories: the Shelter, the JobTREC program, the Nancy Travis House, fundraising or General. Needless to say, I wasn't here in 2008--neither was Alison, but she will have to make the decisions, I guess. She was working at home on some year-end reports and I didn't see her. She has given notice and this next week is her last. The Board has not taken any action yet about filling her position. A couple of the staff members have asked me if I will apply and I have told them no; I prefer working part-time and not having the stress of being responsible 24/7. I am planning on working more hours until they resolve it and making a few changes to improve efficiency. The newsletter is at the printer and will be mailed Monday or Tuesday.

It is a little cooler here this morning and last night we had the windows open--under 70 anyway. Ray and I played one game of racquetball. Ramsey is starting to get more crowded again, as is Athens in general--students everywhere and articles in the paper about them.

I've been sleeping in since I got back from Seattle, but this morning I finally got up before 6. It's nice and cool too, and not too humid. On Wednesday, we had bunches of rain, so the Captain is in a good mood, although we are still having lots of giant grasshoppers eat a lot of our plants.

Work is going pretty well. My boss has given notice and will leave at the end of next week. The Board has not taken any action yet, that I know of, to find a replacement. I am extending my hours for the foreseeable future.

Ray and I went swimming yesterday, the last day this year for Legion Pool. The day before we played racquetball for the first time in a while.

On Tuesday, he had a colonoscopy. Everything is fine; he can wait 5 years for the next one. I also went to the doctor for my physical. I have a prescription for cholesterol meds. He and I talked some about lifestyle and he said it sounded pretty good and it's mostly genetics. Neither of my parents takes cholesterol meds...and they eat lots of eggs, meat and cheese! But he said at my age, I had already developed plaques and in addition to heart attack and stroke, they can contribute to dementia. So I guess I'll start taking it. Because my last 3 Pap smears were normal, I didn't have that done this year. But I do have a mammogram scheduled.

Classes at UGA start Monday and Ray is gearing up. We will try to play racquetball several afternoons a week--it is too dark in the mornings for much of a walk, if I am going to be at my office at 8 every morning. Alison said I didn't need to come in that early on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays, but I can get more done when there isn't anyone else around. Yesterday I was there at 3:30 when kids came home from school and turned on the TV (loud). I pretty much couldn't think at all then.

One of our residents had to move out because her husband got custody of the kids--he had a lawyer and she didn't. Another one is getting mental health treatment all day every day, while her husband tries to take care of the kids and earn some money driving a taxi.

Home Sweet Home!

Last night, there was a cool breeze and low humidity, so we had a pleasant night. I am still a little confused on my sleeping, but actually napped a little yesterday and should be back to "normal" by tomorrow morning, so I can put in a full day at work! We did very little yesterday except go to a UUFA pool party and David J's. The water was so pleasant and it was fun to see people. Reverend Dave is back from his summer break and will be preaching again today. We have a new DRE who started yesterday. Ray went to the meeting for teachers and will be working with little ones again this year (first Sunday of the month).

Lots of cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and peppers to eat. G&G went to pick up our meat at the farmers' market. One more month after this.

Today we leave Seattle. Although I will be sad in many ways, it is nice to be going home. Too bad it's going to be in the 90s every day for the foreseeable future.

Yesterday, Polly took Lidet in the bike trailer and rode with Nate up the hill to his camp. It's a tough ride and he hadn't been up long, so he was a little reluctant, but he finally got into it. I walked a few blocks with them and Ray walked up to and around the park. Polly and Lidet continued to the grocery store. I had my shower and got dressed and started making some oatmeal bread. When Lidet got back, she helped me. At noon, they rode back up the hill to get Nate. We had a little lunch and then we walked up to the bus and rode to downtown.

At the aquarium

The best way to see Seattle

Yesterday morning we walked Nate to his camp at the zoo. He rode his bike up 60th Street, a pretty steep one, 3 blocks, and then about 4 blocks along the park to the end where the zoo entrance is. I got a head start, because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up. Ray had to push some on the hill. He locked his bike up and went in, giving his name to a counselor. Then Ray and I walked around the park and back home. Polly and Lidet were just leaving for dance class. It appears that Lidet is happiest when busy and physically active. She seems to be very coordinated and athletic.

Ray and I had some time at the house to relax and read and I was supposed to start making something for the block party that night. It's always strange trying to cook in someone else's house. I didn't have my favorite recipes. The recipe I found for brownies seemed too outrageous--5 eggs! Another recipe called for a pound of brown sugar, but all the brown sugar was in a canister--I couldn't measure out a pound (Ray said it was 2 cups, but I wasn't sure enough). Oatmeal-raisin cookies: where does she keep the oats? Eventually I found them when I was looking for something else. Lidet came home (in her little pink leotard) and helped me. She likes to help cook and is a very good and careful helper. At the moment, she talks a little like someone younger: Lidet cook? Lidet try. Polly was thrashing around getting ready to pick up Nate. The plan was to drive to get him, then go downtown and get on the ferry for Bainbridge Island for the afternoon. She was packing up things to eat. The cookies got mostly mixed up, but not baked. Ray drove, because Polly got to ride in the back seat between the two car seats--fun! We got Nate, putting his little bike in the back of the car easily and followed Polly's directions (and the signs) to the ferry dock. We were in time for the 12:40--it was a little late! Taking a ferry does involve some waiting. Once we were in our lane, we had to wait for the boat to dock and unload and then for all the other cars to go. Lidet said, "car go, Mommy car go." We explained to her that we can't go until the cars ahead of us go! Polly broke out some of the snacks/lunch. When we got on, we went up the stairs to the passenger deck and ate a picnic lunch at one of the tables, grabbing some napkins and salt and pepper from the cafeteria there. It's a big ferry with lots of cars and people. Some people cross on foot or with their bikes. It's only about 30 minutes until we have to go back down to the car. Ray and I went out on deck briefly and enjoyed the view and the breeze. Of course, it's not a novelty to Nate or even Lidet to be on a ferry boat and their lunch was more important than the view. We had 3 hard-boiled eggs--Nate wanted to eat 2 of them, but he was only allowed one, especially since he only eats the yolks and Polly eats the white for him. We had 4 pieces of bread to share and some salame and cheese. There was leftover sweet potato salad. I ate a lot of that, with Polly and Ray helping. There were cherries and some sesame snack sticks. Yum! Ray sneaked a hot dog as Polly herded the kids back to the car and I packed up the lunch.

We got off the ferry, waiting our turn again, and drove to the children's museum. I was amused and I'm sure Ray was too, because this was not much of a museum. It mainly featured stuffed animals to play with--large alligators, a tiger, a gorilla, lots of snakes, birds and other things. It was roughly a rain forest. There was a craft area for coloring and making puppets. Outside, there was sand and water play, little stilts and some other games, but not a lot of education going on. I have been to a couple wonderful children's museums, and this was not in that category. However, it was a great place for them to play and they enjoyed it.

Then we went to the bookstore. Polly had somehow imagined that we would all browse their happily for a while. Each of the children was allowed one small book. Of course, it was hard for her to watch both kids at the same time, so I helped out. Although she wanted to encourage them to pick good books, she also wanted them to be able to choose what they wanted. They gravitated toward things that were more toys than books--Nate eventually got a kit (including a book) of magic card tricks. Lidet chose several books by the cover, one after the other. She said "Lidet love this," and resisted my efforts to look inside the book and actually read it. I was mildly frustrated--so many wonderful books and they ended up buying something less interesting. Although, I do remember my interest in magic tricks at about Nate's age or a little older.

After that, it was ice cream! We had originally planned to go to the bakery, but ice cream won out. There was a very expensive ice cream place not far away. It was peculiar in that you pay as you enter--well, how do you know what you want at that point? We bought five small cones, they were almost $4 each. The ads said, "organic mint," etc. Lidet had mango, Polly dulce de leche, Ray blueberry and I had blackberry. They were very good, but I was not sold. I have eaten a lot of great ice cream and I did not think this was quite as good as the price. However, it was very much enjoyed. Oh, Nate had mint chocolate chip--it was not bright green, needless to say. They had frozen yogurt as well and I asked about the flavors. They had one: plain (not vanilla).

Then the group wandered down to a really nice playground. I looked at some of the really nice shops, but did not buy anything. I knew I couldn't get it home and couldn't afford it anyway. A lovely bath shop with bathrobes I thought of buying for my mother and a scrub brush for my Dad--he really goes through them, and has been known to appropriate the vegetable scrubbers. In another store, they had beautiful 1000 piece art puzzles--Hopper, Audubon, Diego Rivera. Mom loves those, but we usually buy cheaper ones.

As I joined the group at the playground, they were just heading off in search of a bathroom. While they were gone, another little girl began a full-fledged tantrum. I was tempted to go ask her to be quieter and see what effect that had on her, but I didn't. Polly would have been interested to watch, but it was over by the time they got back. Then we headed back to the car, back to the line for the ferry. Lidet fell asleep in the car, so Nate and Ray and I went up to the passenger deck. Nate was interested in spending time playing with the game machine (even though he didn't actually play it, due to lack of money). Eventually, Ray interested him in the large map of the Seattle area. Then we went back down to the car, waited to get off the ferry, drove through the 5:00 traffic and home. Lidet began to wake up while I finished the cookies and Polly unpacked things. Jim was already home working outside. There are men painting the rental house next door.

Nate and Jim rode their bikes back up to the park for chess club, while we baked cookies. Soon the phone rang. Apparently, there was no chess club that night.

We have been here 3 days now. The weather is wonderful. People here complain about how unbearable the heat is; how can I possibly wear jeans? I am cold most of the day, but it feels great. My sister keeps her windows open round the clock and told us where the extra blankets were last night.

Jim went off to work yesterday. Nate went to camp from 9-12. Polly took him and Ray and I took care of Lidet. She did not seem to miss her Mom or be worried about her at all, although she was happy to see her when she came home. First we put some stickers on pieces of paper. Then we practiced drawing with a neat book that comes with a marker, so you can trace the pictures of animals. Ray switched places with me and I went and changed out of my pj's and into some clothes. When I came back, Lidet said, "walking?" So the three of us went for a long and lovely walk, admiring the flowers (and fruits and vegetables) of the neighbors, as well as a couple of cats and a nice dog, whose owner encouraged her to pat it. We talked about the colors of things. At one point, she identified a square (there was a flower blooming behind a square opening in the wall). We had a lovely time. We ate some. We read stories. I started making peach muffins.

Polly and Nate came home about 12:30 and we all ate some lunch. Food is one of the many issues Lidet has. Probably because of her early life, and also because of the language, she often asks for things and doesn't eat them. Polly has a lot of trouble with this, although she doesn't want to go so far as to say you have to eat it, no matter how long it takes. And she worries about balanced nutrition. Lidet eats a lot of fruit, especially mango, and she likes bread and pasta. She eats less protein and Polly naturally worries about how to keep her healthy. Nate is also fond of pasta and white bread. Although I understand her concern, carbohydrates are what kids need most of, and many of us grew up eating white bread and pasta.

Lidet spent most of the afternoon pouting, crying and having tantrums. Perhaps she used up all her good behavior in the morning with us. Perhaps having choices to make is exhausting. I suppose the orphanage did not ask her what she wanted to eat or wear. Polly tried to head it off, and she always tries to talk her through it. "We love you, but we don't like you to behave like this. Can you stop crying?" In the end, she went upstairs and eventually fell asleep. Unfortunately, she was just as unhappy when Polly woke her after about an hour, to avoid having her be up too late. She did manage to pull herself together to eat some macaroni and cheese (organic from a box). One of the challenges is her relationship with her brother. Like all siblings, they love each other but can't seem to keep from annoying each other. She takes things that belong to him and runs off. He is forbidden from grabbing it back, but uses his words. "Please give it back, Lidet." She has learned the power of words, "No." Nate appeals to his mother, who also asks her to give it back, with similar results, leading to an ongoing struggle. Meanwhile, Mom tries to convince Nate that it is best not to act like you care when she deliberately goads you...

We are having a delightful time, but it is good to be reminded that having young children is not all fun and games.

Hi,

Here we are in Seattle, where the windows are open and it is downright chilly this early in the morning. It's 5:40 local time, which makes it 8:40 in Athens, so my body thinks it's high time to get up. By the end of the week, I may have adjusted some. Ray and I are sleeping on a fold-out couch in my sister's front room. This is a beautiful house and I love Seattle. There are hardwood floors and built-in bookcases, lots of windows with views of Seattle and the water. Yesterday, there was fog (neblina in Spanish!).

My sister and her husband, Jim, have adopted Lidet, a 3-year-old from Ethiopia. Lidet has been here 8 weeks. Before she arrived, she had not spoken any English and had been living in an orphanage with other children. Needless to say, her world has changed a great deal. I learned a couple of words of Amharic yesterday, my first day here. Dinach (don't know how it's spelled, but rhymes with spinach as far as I can tell) is potato. Baka (again, don't know how it's spelled) means enough or I don't want any more. She has a dazzling smile when she's happy, which is often, and seems to be quite smart and independent. Sometimes she cannot make herself understood, which is frustrating. Most of the time, she is a typical 3-year-old. Frequently, she will start to pout, which may or may not develop into a full-blown temper tantrum within 5 seconds. Polly will usually carry her up to her room or away from the action, after trying to give her a choice about her behavior. "Lidet, if you use your words to ask for what you want, we can talk about it..." As time goes by, she is more likely to be able to stop herself from the full-blown tantrum. Polly says the major meltdowns are less frequent now and don't last as long as they used to. It's pretty exhausting for her, even when there's not a tantrum. "Mom, Mom, watch." Part of my reason for being here is to give her some relief. I offered yesterday to weed the garden and Polly said, "No, you take care of my kids and I'll weed the garden." Sounds like a good plan to me.

Of course, Nate, who is almost 7, remembers me. I am the queen of games. Yesterday after breakfast, we started with go fish (after ascertaining that I had not brought any new games with me). Nate requested Double Go Fish, which involves 2 decks of cards and collecting 8 of any number. It lasted quite a while. At least then, Polly has only one child hanging on her every minute!

Nate and Lidet have, in some ways, typical sibling issues, which was part of the point of adopting Lidet, to provide a sibling for Nate. Lidet is a very good mimic. If Nate is playing with his stuffed animals, organizing them and talking to them, Lidet is too. If Nate has some candy, even if Lidet already ate hers up, she will try to grab his. Nate has been taught to be gentle and share, but his sister is pretty agressive, probably in part from growing up with lots of other children. Nate is told, "use your words, tell her what you want." He finds it hard to make her understand and pretty frustrating.

In the afternoon, we play another game. "Let's choose something Lidet can play," I say. He is scornful. "She doesn't understand what we tell her." "Let's try," I say. "Maybe Candyland." He is amazed. "My parents don't like to play games like Candyland and Uncle Wiggly." I can't really tell him that I am delighted to play anything at all with him, it is not a question of intellectual stimulation, but the joy of his company and enthusiasm that gives me so much pleasure." Lidet knows her colors, so Candyland is a good choice. She has clearly been exposed to the game. "I love this," she says, moving her playing piece into the field of lollypops. She clearly understands the basic idea. She can count in English, but doesn't appear to associate the numbers with the squares on the board. "One, two, three,..." she taps her piece on the board a random number of times. But she wins, although she loses interest before then. Nate and I play on, until she drags out another game--Sorry.

Although Nate loves to play, he won't play with Lidet and me because he knows she can't play. I say, "I'm doing your job, Nate, I'm teaching her to play so she can play with you for hours and years." And, indeed, we enjoy it, although I have to tell her what card she has drawn and what action to take. When she loses interest, Nate takes over from her. He is the expert, reminding me that 4 is backwards and 11 allows you to switch places with someone. Without my reading glasses, I haven't been able to read the fine print on the cards.

Later in the day, we walk down the streed a few houses to have dinner with good friends of Polly's--Sherry and Matt and their children Sam and Sally. I feel like I am in a novel. The house is a lovely old Seattle house, on the side of the hill, with a view. It has what Amelia would call "good bones." But inside, it is a mishmash of old random furniture, with children's projects everywhere. Matt is a middle school science teacher, and this is clearly a kid-centered home. Some people make sure to childproof their houses; this is the opposite, this house is nearly adult-proof! There is a cardboard diorama of the Grand Canyon, with a California condor suspended in the middle. Sam is probably ten and Sally eight. They know Nate, and now Lidet, very well, and have played together a lot. Lidet produces paintings for our admiration and after supper, the children dress in costumes and parade for us. They are giggling and happy. Lidet sports a tie and Nate a mask and brown furry costume--a bear? It is wonderful to see children allowed and encouraged to be themselves and explore their creativity--and take care of each other.

Polly is allowed to be a grownup and talk with her friends about the challenges of being Lidet's Mom. She has taken her to a Montessori preschool for a visit and feels like she will be happy there. The teacher, who has lots of experience with 3-year-olds, assures her that Lidet is fine. She seems to be developmentally on track and is able to separate from her Mom and go explore some of the activities. Polly is clearly relieved. She relishes the expert confirmation that her child is fine and it will be okay if Polly is allowed to have a small space in her life for herself.

At 9:00, we force ourselves to leave. The children are reluctant, but the adults are tired. We arrived at 2 in the morning and Polly met us at the airport, so we did not really have enough sleep.

Now, I am waiting for the little feet to come donw the stairs. I have told Nate that he can come find me when he wakes up, as long as it is light out. Hmm. I wonder what the first game of the day will be. But I better put on some warm clothes before then...it's Seattle!